Attention single hetero men, or men who used to be single, or used to be hetero, or men who wish they were single, or hell, people who know single men, or want to learn something about single men, basically, attention everyone! Help a girl out.

You date, you meet your fair share of women at bars or work or on a blind date. You thought you might meet them at the market or the dog run, but that only happens in movies, bad movies. And if you’re meeting them at the gym, I’d rather not hear from you. Just, ew.

Here’s my question: what do women say or do on dates to impress men and to show men they’re not clingy or needy? But you kinda know it’s bull. Or forget clingy and needy. What do women choose to push, thinking it’s a selling point, when in fact, it’s just annoying.

"I love hiking and football and think finding the right guy is just the cherry on top of my Sundae of a life." We know this woman has already set up her Crate and Barrel wedding registry. She’ll fill in the groom’s name later. "Oh, you know… I like Steely Dan, bacon, and swallowing."

If you’re a woman, can you think of things you tend or tended to really "push" about yourself, seeing it as a selling point as to why someone would want to get to know you better?

I can’t believe I never opened with the true fact that my grandfather’s real given name was Euripides. I mean, subliminally, maybe a man would have thought, "Greek Goddess." Eh, please, we know he thought that anyway. Okay, maybe not.