I have tried. I really have. But I cannot stand Tori Amos. Actually, it’s not her, but that music of hers just isn’t my first, second, or very last pick. I am now deleting her tragic soupy songs from myPod. All these years I’ve tried, now and again. And we’re through. I’m breaking up with her for no other reason than I’ve grown up and have decided to like what I like and not what other people think I should like.

I’ve been keeping certain artists on myPod because somewhere deep down I always wanted to be ready to connect with someone, for them to like me more, if we had this one random musician or band in common. As if by dialing his way through my mp3s he’d somehow be moved to say, "I wasn’t sure about her, but yeah, she listens to the Beastie Boys. She’s all right." I do not like the Beastie Boys, but they, too, have remained on myPod because I thought, once upon a work life ago, that including them in my queue would endear me to my male co-workers. I also thought I was cool because I had a full bar at home stocked with brown spirits. I’ve deleted all but Fight For Your Right To Party and Ch-Check It Out–mostly because I can somehow see Lucas jumping on a bed singing it until it hurts to sing it anymore.

The explicit version of Wanksta by 50 Cent somehow ended up on here. I believe it elbowed its way in due to a 28th birthday party for one of the girls, where myPod would be hooked up to the Soho House sound system. Other artists are for Phil, despite the fact that they annoy the Tabla Beat Science out of me. I’m saying goodbye to a past lived in songs that weren’t played, but were instead used to play the game.