I need to find a way to out-nice my neighbor–all my neighbors, actually. For one, I’m still receiving holiday cookies. Ever since we raved about her chocolate chip cookies, they seem to arrive monthly, to celebrate the postal service, nurses, or national scrapbooking day. I’m by no means complaining, mind you, but I have no time to return the love. Phil suggests we give her a $100 bill and say, “Take that!” How is one to love thy neighbor back with no free time or proclivity to bake? A card would be ever so lame. A bottle of wine with a note suggesting we open it together soon? But there’d be no follow through. Oooh, I know the perfect gift. I’ll buy a stack of amazing cookbooks and tie them with a silk a ribbon, tucking in a card that reads: We think you’re running out of ideas.

Is it wrong that I want all my coffee table books to be cookbooks?