No one’s kids are ever as cute as they think. Cute, or smart, or fascinating. No one wants to really hear about their sleep habits or favorite foods. Except grandparents, and even then, it’s just some grandparents. And aunts. Their aunts want to hear. My friends without children? I’d never dream of boring them with the details of my life, not because I believe my life is boring, but my "everyday" simply isn’t relevant to them.

Work is relevant, following passions. Fights, they’re universal. Anyone can relate and give advice and feel useful and a connection. Food. Projects. Vacation plans. Making new friends, even. But no one wants to be around someone who talks about their kid non-stop. I will never hand the phone to my children so they can incoherently blather on to someone on the other line. It’s annoying. I don’t care who you are. I hate having to talk to kids over the phone. At any age. It’s never ever going to be cute. It’s like pulling teeth getting them to talk. I don’t even know what to ask these kids. "How was your day? What did you do? Oh, really? And what did you eat?" I ask simple questions I don’t even want to know the answer to, just so the parent thinks I give a shit. I don’t. I’d rather talk to the adult. "Oh, but it makes the kid feel important." Great. It makes me feel like an imbecile. And it bores me.

Even at playgroup, where we gather with our kids, observing them, chatting about sales and fun new stores and sites, we don’t spend all our time talking about kids. We speak of restaurants, events, and recipes. About birth control and husband stitches. The best skinny jeans.

And then we’re back to our kids, what it’s like. What the hell do I feed them now that their doc says no more bottles? I bought three cookbooks on cooking for kids, through the ages. First foods to sneaking zucchini into cookies. But I haven’t had time. I hand in this book today, then receive more edits at the start of the new year. I hope in the coming days I can relax, cook for my family, and enjoy the smaller moments again. At least the house looks nice. Photos to come… from playgroup, to meals, to the garland wrapped throughout the house. I love this time of year and am looking forward to a breakfast of eggs, caramelized onions, and crisp bacon, at home with family on Christmas day.  But now I must turn in the book, and then begin to plan a seafood dinner (the seven fishes) for Christmas Eve. So to all a good night.