september beans

This Saturday is my birthday.  I don’t know how much celebrating I’ll be able to do unless I finish this last chapter.  There has just been so much going on.  It’s hard to get work done.  I’m turning 32.  I’m eager to hand the sucker in, even though by no means will I be finished with the process.  I’ll still have plenty of decisions and corrections to make.  But hopefully I won’t feel as rushed or panicked about my choices, and hopefully I’ll have some time during the editorial process for myself.  To get my nails done, hair, all the girl bits.  And to play tennis again, to swim, to walk, to get outside, and mostly to spend more time with my family.  I took these photos the other day of the beans and realize just how fast they’re growing.  Lucas is right now in the hospital having an image-guided spinal tap of some fluid, just a little higher up on his spine than last time to see if anything bacterial grows.  I just know the white blood cell count is going to be higher than last time, even though he’s doing so great.  The cyst has not improved, has gotten, in fact, slightly worse.  It doesn’t make my heart hurt quite yet.  I just hope we learn something from this because he’s still undiagnosed.  We still don’t really know what’s going on, and quite frankly, the neurosurgeon here is worried about what the last MRI pictures from about a week or so ago looked like.  So we’ll see.  As far as the helmet, both his neurosurgeon and pediatrician both said he didn’t need one.  So at least that’s one less thing to deal with.  Next stop?  Letting these little tots eat Cheerios! 

And thank you for all your beautiful sentiments about my grandfather.  I took these of the kids two days ago, the day he died.  I know my dad will enjoy them.



  1. Happy early birthday!

    The beans are gorgeous! Too cute and sweet! Like they came from Magnolia Bakery!

  2. Oh my gosh – those are the most precious pictures ever! I cannot believe how fast they are growing! I've got every finger crossed for happy Lucas news…

  3. God Stephanie, those beans are beautiful!! Miss Abigail standing up (almost walking?) Eyelashes galore! Lucas is looking just so sweet as well. They both must help cheer you at this sad time.

  4. Your beans are crazy adorable! Abigail's eyes are just out of this world. Lucas, bless his little heart, looks strong and healthy. I continue to include him in my prayers. So sorry on the loss of your grandfather, you are blessed to have had such a wonderful relationship.

  5. Oh precious baby love! Stephanie, I can only imagine how your heart overflows every time you look at them. They each look SOO much like both you and Phil. It is NUts! seriously, they are just perfectly precious and I just want to hug them both!! I love Lucas' outfit and Abigail's eyelashes, I know it has been said before, but wow. The picture of Lucas smiling/laughing makes me rethink the whole "I don't neeed to be a mother" stance!! Sending good vibes your way to get this end of the novel finished so you may enjoy more time with your loved ones and more time on yourself!! Not to add to the pressure, but I SO cannot wait to read moose!!

  6. Wow, your children are just so beautiful! Thanks so much, it has been a long time since new photos and they were definitely worth waiting for…. (-;

  7. Happy Birthday! I too am celebrating my birthday Saturday, although I am going to be the dreaded 39……..OUCH!!

    Happy to hear your beans are well and that Lucas is doing great despite the cyst. Keep you spirit up since it all stems from the top and that means you!

  8. They are trully adorable. You are a very lucky lady, and hopefully one day soon rather than later all of the things that you are going thru settle down.
    it still amazes me how open you are about your life, your kids and emotions. and i don't mean this in a bad way. is just because when kids are involved everything changes.
    good luck to you and yuor family.

  9. Hello,
    I read your memoir a couple months ago, and I've been reading your blog since then. I just want to let you know that I think you are amazing, and brilliant. When I finished reading your book I cried until I realized I could still read what you write on here. Anyway, I have never commented before but I decided to today after I read this post. I just want to tell you that you and your family are in my prayers, even though we don't know each other I feel like I know a part of you for some reason. Your ability to put everything out there amazes me, and inspires me. I wish I had the courage to have a blog. Anyway, your children are beautiful, they look so much like you! I hope everything goes okay with Lucas today, and I hope they can give you some definitive answers soon. I just really wanted to let you know how much I've learned about myself by reading about you, and thank you so much for having the strength to keep writing, even when things get tough.

  10. What amazing and beautiful pictures. Thanks for sharing. :) Happy Birthday early! :) You've got so much on your plate…

  11. Stephanie – get out and enjoy your birthday! Ah, 32… Have fun, before you know it you'll be 42 (oh, actually that's me this November).

    Today is my daughter Elisabeth's 3rd birthday. I remember so clearly when my doctor lifted her, my third baby, from my belly – pure joy. How can three years have passed?

    Abigail and Lucas are beautiful.

  12. I've enjoyed reading your blog for some time now, but had to post because I've loved to see your pictures of the beans. Not just to see them grow, which is fun, but to also see how you've chosen to photograph them. I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my little boy bean, and I must say that you've definitely inspired how I will take pictures of him when he arrives. Thanks!

  13. So, so cute! Abigail looks exactly like you! And Lucas is so handsome. I'm sorry you still don't have answers with regards to his health. That's got to be incredibly frustrating. But he looks great, and no helmet–yay! Happy Birthday!

  14. Abigail is beautiful…..Lucas so handsome. My what gorgeous eyes in those pictures!!
    I just read about your grandfather.
    To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    With loving thoughts for you and your family.

  15. Stephanie, I just read about your grandfather. My thoughts are with you – there must be so many conflicting feelings. But it's a beautiful blessing that you knew and loved each other so well. Not everyone has that kind of relationship with their grandparents. The babies are gorgeous and so big now! Fingers crossed that Lucas' tests show good results. And Happy Birthday!

  16. Okay, you are in deep shit when baby girl hits the teenage years — her eyes will cause men to declare war on her behalf. Both of your children are beautiful. But Abigail's eyes. WOW. Simply gorgeous.

  17. Stephanie, those kids are so beautiful. Abigail's eyes are maybe the 8th wonder of the world, and Lucas looks healthy! They are too precious.

  18. And happy birthday in a few hours! Thank you for all of the joy you've brought to so many of us. May this year be easier, and more peaceful…

  19. Abigail looks so lovely and old-fashioned in some of the pics.. but yet, she looks like she's up to something! Is "impish" the right word, or am I making something up?

    Lucas looks like he's contemplating the meaning of life. Let me know what he comes up with :)

  20. Happy Birthday Stephanie. I hope you have a wonderful day and that yesterday brought you the news you have been waiting for.

    Also, your children's faces have soul and character. Gorgeous.

  21. Hi Stephanie, happy birthday! I just stumbled upon your blog a couple of weeks ago, and I just wanted to say that you're a real inspiration to us fellow TMI bloggers. Keep up the great work! :-)

  22. My best wishes – may your birthday be as beautiful as possible!

    Hope Lucas is doing well; I`ll keep my fingers crossed for good news…

  23. Hope you're having a wonderful birthday, Stephanie! The pictures are beautiful, as always. May all your birthday wishes come true!

  24. Steph, Happy Happy Birthday. Your babies are so adorable. They help us remember what matters in life. And you are one of the people that matter. Happy birthday. Steve

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