It’s a Friday, and you’re both asleep.  The three of us are in the media room in the dark.  Your father has converted the room into an obstacle course: an activity yard abuts a papasan swing, then an exer-saucer, a bouncy seat, and some contraption with hanging rings and an Elmo who pops up and giggles at you.  You both looked so happy today. 

I was sitting on the sofa watching you, Abigail.  And at one point, with a toy alligator in your mouth, you looked up at me, stopped mouthing your toy, and gave me the biggest smile, the dimple on your upper right cheek spreading. Then you said, “Ma ma ma ma ma ma.”  It’s the only sound you really like to make, aside from your piercing squeals. 

Lucas, you were on the activity mat putting your foot in your mouth, your hips rocking gently.  I’d smile at you, and you’d reflect it for me, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything but come down to you and kiss your belly then whisper how much I love you in your sweet potato ear.  I can’t wait to get in there and q-tip myself content.  Your doctor tells me not to put anything in there smaller than my elbow, but I don’t care.  I love grooming you, almost as much as you’ll always hate it. 

I watched a movie today while feeding you both.  It wasn’t very good, but I liked it.  It was about a brother and sister who loved the same woman–which I’ll explain to you one day.  I was touched by the footage where the siblings were shown as children, racing through a yard, or down a street, competing, pulling hair maybe.  You’re very lucky to have each other.  You won’t always know this, but eventually you will. 

There was a point today where you were both reaching for the same crinkled leaf on the activity mat, and I loved seeing you both sitting, legs touching, abiding by some unspoken baby rule.  I love you both so much, loved holding you both in my lap today, your chubby little legs on mine, our small little family, taking up as much space as one pretzel made of legs and knots that will keep us together forever.  I love you. 



  1. "Your doctor tells me not to put anything in there smaller than my elbow, but I don’t care. I love grooming you, almost as much as you’ll always hate it."

    Wow! You are really something else aren't you?!

  2. What tender moments! This post made me smile. Lucas sounds just great (so does Abigail). Have a great weekend!
    P.S. We need more pictures!!

  3. As my 15 year old son was walking towards me last night I was suddenly struck by how much he moves like his twin sister. They are so different, yet so much alike. The feelings you have now will never go away, but I suspect you already know that.

  4. Oh – I just sighed with happy contentment – what a lovely post.

    My favorite place in the entire world is down in our family room, each one of us in our own papasan pod chair – fireplace roaring – hot tea being consumed – candles lit – and it's just the babies and me. Heaven on earth, I tell ya. But with one baby turning 17 in November – these are fleeting days. I'm glad you're enjoying the moments.

  5. Oh, you made me remember my kids when they were babies. All that sweetness and belly rolls to kiss. YUM!

  6. Enjoy it now. This stage is over much too soon. My baby (youngest of three) turns 39 this weekend. I love my children as much as I ever did, and my grandchildren as much as it's possible to love, but I do remember and miss the tender times when mine were sweet and chubby and smelled good (most of the time).

  7. This post is so touching, I miss mine being babies! They're all grown up and leading their own lives, one's a daddy, and the other's a Soldier. I miss mine being babies!

  8. How wonderful that you record these memories in writing. How fortunate that your children will have these moments to look back upon.

  9. Sweet! Asher, 17 months, is number four and my last baby. It's going by so quickly… Sibs are 9, 7, and 2… Wish I could freeze them all in time. Enjoy your babies.

  10. This made me smile. I too love to watch my b/b twins play, although at their age there is some small squabbling going on but cute none the less.

  11. I love this post. It expresses exactly how I feel about my 10 week old "bampa" (don't ask) sleeping in the room next to me.

  12. Sublime. What a beautiful post!! Your children are so blessed to have you as their mama.

    I've said it at every age/stage so far, but my daughter is nearly 14, and it's the funest stage yet! She came home from school yesterday and chatted my ear off for an hour straight — I just adore spending time with her!

    Curious, does anyone know what the going rate for babysitting in NYC, is? She'd like to baby sit.

    Appreciate your input.

    Enjoy the rest of the weekend, all!

    GO YANKEES!!!!

  13. Stephanie, great post. Love hearing when things are going well. What drives me crazy is that I never get any followup on some things you post that leave readers (myself included) concerned. For example, I haven't seen a Lucas update in quite awhile? What was that thing on your face and did you find a cure? What about your anniversary? Did your "friend" from fat camp ever reach out again? Maybe I'm asking too much from your blog, but it seems to me that many readers are really interested/concerned and then left hanging. I'd love to see more follow up. NOTE: you really don't need to publish this comment–just wanting to put in my 2 cents.

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