We’re in the waiting room.  Lucas Beckett had another lumbar puncture.  A brain and spinal MRI.  It takes about three to four hours.  They want to compare these images with the ones taken last week.  Are things better, worse, the same?  They suspect the same, but they’ll know once the tests and images are in.  They drew blood and fluid, want to compare the numbers. 

I hate having to initial forms, implicating that they’ve warned me properly.  Explained all the risks.  Scribbling an S and a K beside phrases like "brain damage," "infection," and "paralysis."  My signature in case.  In case things don’t go as expected.  Blood transfusions, necessary measures.  I have to remind myself to breathe. 

We’ve been gathering second opinions from children’s hospitals in Cincinnati, NYU, and Boston.  I’m still waiting to hear back from Boston. My stomach dropped when I heard "I definitely believe the cyst has to come out.  It’s putting pressure on the spine and might cause complications down the line."  Well what’s involved in surgery?  "An incision from neck to the top of his shoulders.  We’ll remove bone," he said.  We need to make sure there’s no infection going on, that if and when someone operates on his spine, that infection isn’t spread, if indeed there is a localized infection.  We want to learn what the culprit of this cyst is, and then of course, figure out exactly what to do about it.  What all the risks are. 

He’s in recovery now, and like always, we’re waiting with him… initial results: his white blood cell count is very high.  615.  Normal is 0-30. Last time it was 506, also high. I hate this.  I hate that spinal surgery is in his future, that they don’t know what caused it.  That I’m closer to answers I don’t want to hear.