I’ve read the articles and book excerpts.  Along with suggestions from eager grandparents to be, I’ve received emails linking to studies and lists and more articles.  Everyone wants me to have the latest baby-naming must-have info.  We might as well be informed just how much we’re screwing up our kids, even before they’re born.  There are now java programs which chart names through history, showing popularity.  I’ve read more on earning potential, how a name atop a resume can significantly impact employment.  How names historically aristocratic have lost their impact today due to overuse by "commoners."   I’ll admit I even googled "top-earning names" and found research to support the likelihood of certain names, over others, garnering a six-figure life.  There are more studies on likable names, black vs. white names, and on certain sites, they list the general personality preconceptions linked to certain names.  Everyone thinks Molly is likeable and very white, it seems.  Lola is a girl who dresses like a French maid each year for Halloween.  Stephanie, it seems has the following traits: "Most people think Stephanie is a thin, pretty, feminine woman who is sophisticated and self-centered–a model, perhaps. Some think Stephanie is very kind."  Dude, the first "trait" is thin.  At least they got the self-centered bit right.  My mother’s middle name is Stephanie.  It’s Greek in origin and means, "crowned."  If I were a boy, they’d have named me Rory, meaning "red king."  At the time, they certainly weren’t using search engines to investigate the meanings of names, and I’d be shocked to learn if they knew the meanings of either Stephanie or Rory.   They went with their gut instincts.   

My gut instincts, I’m told, have to do with porn or pottery.  I really like stripper names like Emmanuelle (either calling her Emma or Elle for short), and Savannah (Savvy for short). They’re my top two, and Phil has vetoed both.  They’re long feminine names which work well coupled with BEER.  I mean, that’s what I’m working with here.  For girls, I like either long feminine names or WASPY names that sound like boarding schools: Parker, Prue, Greyson, Blythe, Laurant.  This brings me to the pottery part.   

This is my own theory, certainly not recognized in journals or Freakonomic scripture: kids with names taken from the Pottery Barn catalog will probably be pretty well-adjusted kids.  Sure, you thought it was only good for nesting tables and a leather club chair.  I don’t want children with really unique names because I don’t want that to be "the something" which sets them apart.  Though I do like the middle name BRAVEN or just BRAVE.  But Philip does not… at all.  Bottom line, I want them to work at being unique, to find what makes them special.  I don’t want it to be their name.  When you have a stand out name, sometimes that’s enough; you hang your identity on it.  We’re making these kids work for it.  So names from the Pottery Barn catalog seem like a safe bet. Emmett, Pearce, Payton, Hudson, Lucas, Charlotte, Harper, Maren, Rhys, Olivia, Tanner, Natalia, Abigail, Stella, Eva, Sophia, Gabrielle, Jacob.  So the kid doesn’t have to necessarily know he was named after a console table. 

As for where we are in the name game, we’ve come up with two names for girls, and two for boys, but we haven’t settled on anything yet.  We’re not sharing the names with people, because really, what good comes from that?  The hardest bit is coming up with middle names.  We know in the Jewish tradition, it’s customary to use the first letter of a deceased family member, in naming your children.  We’ve decided to do this with their middle names, since it’s hard enough for us to agree on first names without the limitations.  So for middle names, we need one name that begins with a "B" and one that begins with an "R."  That’s four names. 2 girl names, two boy names.  It’s not easy, and I refuse to leave them without middle names because what’s the fun in that?

*We don’t know the sex or sexes of our babies.  We suspect we’re having two of the same sex due to our technician once upon a hiccup ago.  My mother-in-law is certain they’re boys, "because you’re carrying it all in front," but we don’t know.  We also don’t believe in matchy names.  The twins will each be treated as individauls.  No matching clothes or identical things… um, aside from their bedding and cribs.  That’s already a done deal.