The Suitor is funny.  I don’t mean like Joe Pesci and Ray Liotta in Goodfellas funny- "What, like a clown?  Like I’m here to amuse you" funny.  Just funny.  When trying to figure out what to read at the "Meet and Mingle’s" in Austin, Chicago and tomorrow in San Francisco, I offer up the suggestion of the Eurosexual story.  To this The Suitor recalls an old joke about some man to make a point.  I don’t much remember the body of the joke, but to paraphrase it goes something like "I can cure cancer, save a family from a burning home, donate all my money to underprivileged children, but I suck one dick and you’re always known as a cocksucker."  His point being that no matter what I write, what topics, how eloquent, how insightful and touching, if I refer to stories like the Eurosexual or Pam cooking spray tale I’ll always just be known as a cocksucker.  I know he had my best interests in mind, but last night, I ignored his advice.  I went right ahead and read about lapping styles.  Thanks to everyone for making me feel at home in Chicago.  Pictures to follow, and I really adored Chicago… I only wish I had more time there.  It’s a darling town.  Old school and absolutely stunning in the fall. 


I’m not sure what my game plan is today.  I’ll hit up Bell’Occhio for ribbons and old post cards, certainly.  But then what?  It’s so hard to decide because I want to go everywhere.  I’m setting the Straight Up and Dirty pilot here, in San Francisco, so everywhere I go is research.  I’m thinking the character based on me would probably live in either Noe Valley or The Marina.  But I’ve got to go scout things out today.  I’ll be walking around on Hayes and Chestnut Streets, and I imagine I’ll eat somewhere on Fillmore Street (I love Plumpjack Cafe).  Maybe it makes sense to ship some local wines.  Last time I was here, I spent a lot of time in the Marina district, Russian Hill, Union Square, and on Haight St.   I could go to The Castro area.  Perhaps Gay Max’s apartment will be set there.  I don’t really feel like "shopping."  I feel like walking and browsing different neighborhoods.  I suppose I’ll go to a specialty tea shop, since it’s all I drink lately.  I could so live here.  I love San Francisco. 



  1. The reading (and subsequent wine outing) was fabulous — it was great to meet you! I hope Chicago treated you well during your brief stay.

  2. I'm psyched for you to come to San Francisco tomorrow. Me and friends are coming from San Jose!

  3. Any chance you'll be paying a visit to LA for a Book reading/signing for your So Cal fans in the near future?

    Have fun in San Fran, I love that town!

  4. Funny what things people will choose to take away from readings, articles, etc. For the record, we think your book was much than a little cocksucking. :)

  5. So great meeting you last night, I had a blast and enjoyed your writing advice!! Safe Travels!!

  6. It was so great to meet you last night Stephanie!Your reading was funny, your comments were insightful and you look adorable with that belly full o'twins!

    Best of luck to you in San Francisco~

  7. Oh how I wish I could come to the reading! I'm an actor currently attending a conservatory, so my days are 9am – 11pm straight on through. I'd drive the four hours if I wasn't contracted in a show at the moment! Have a great reading – I hope you enjoy San Francisco as much as I do!

  8. The best pizza I ever ate was on a trip to S.F. last summer with a girlfriend. Dino's Pizza at California and Fillmore St., we ordered the Greek. We still talk about it. I think you can get it by the slice :)

    FROM STEPHANIE: Sadly no FETA cheese for me, since I'm pregnant. Besides, I just ate way too much breakfast. Fresh strawberries and banana slivers over vanilla yogurt with 3, count 'em, THREE pastries. A perfect croissant, a raspberry danish, and a small banana muffin. That was so sow-like of me. I must go walk all day now.

  9. First — NO Stinking Rose. It is a touristy place in touristy North Beach. There are MUCH better (authentic) Italian places. Just wanted to send my welcome to the city to you — gorgeous weather for you today. This is the best time of year here.

    Just my two cents…the Marina is beautiful, but an obnoxious scene. Don't set your main character there. Fillmore area, Pacific/Laurel/Presidio Heights is more your speed, I think. Noe Valley is lovely — that is where I live — but it is rather suburban (think Upper West Side). Not a singles scene to speak of, if you wanted that sort of thing in your show.

    Enjoy the day! Enjoy Plumpjack! Good luck at the reading — hope Northern California is good to you and the babies.

  10. I just got back from San Fran – wish I was there this week for your reading!

    Pacific Heights definitely a great area. Do set some of the scenes at Harry's. A locals bar.

    I got carded there! Ha! I was like ummm 35, married, 2 kids – you wanna see my c-section scars…

    Although I was happy to be carded I really wanted to drink and hang out with some of my San Fran friends! After taking a second look at my wrinkles the bouncer let me by.

    Also, we went to a great restaurant called Ame. Its in the St. Regis – I know – it sounds stuffy but actually its a modern hotel not what you picture for a St.Regis. Asian fare. Very good. Great wines.

    Hope you have fun there!

  11. Your reading is in the Ferry building, which is a gourmet MECCA. You are going to be in heaven. First, get some McEvoy Olive Oil. I'm serious, this is the best olive oil on the planet and it's produced in Petaluma. Stock up, because you're likely to get hooked. Cowgirl Creamery cheeses are DIVINE–try the Mt. Tam (it's my fave, and safe for pregnant women). Lulu's also has a store there. Great for salads, paninis. And Scharffen Berger chocolate is second to NONE. Lastly, go to Slanted Door for dinner. (It's there, too.) They'll probably be booked, but if you can slink in to eat at the bar, it's SO worth it.

    I'm so sorry to have missed you in Chicago, and then in my (until recently) town of SF. Enjoy yourself! And I'm serious about the olive oil. :)

  12. You must go to Solstice in the evening at the corner of Divisadero and California. Order the brussel sprouts (which are AMAZING but need to be ordered off-menu now), the kobe beef sliders, and the frites two ways (regular and sweet potato). You won't be sorry; I guarantee it.

  13. I agree that the Marina and Noe Valley probably aren't the right scene. I suggest Pacific Heights or Russian Hill.

    Plumpjack wine shop is great and pretty reasonable. There is also a good wine shop in the Ferry Building.

    So looking forward to tonight!

  14. I wish I knew you were going to be in SF earlier. Gillian works on California at the Wells Fargo Building. If you needed someone to hang out with she could have brought you around. She read your book too and it would have been nice to see how each other turned out as adults. She lives outside of Berkely. I love San Francisco too. I was just there for Gillian's baby's christening. Haylie will be 1 years old on Halloween.

  15. I gave my friend Leigh your book to read and this is what she sms'd (texted) me at 6 am this morning:

    "This book is amazing, almost finished, going to buy one for myself and study. I understand why you thought of me reading it. So many Leigh traits its quite sad."

    And I replied

    "Yes, but she worked through it and LOOK WHERE SHE IS NOW"

    And she replied

    "And I am going to get there ON MY OWN, thanks for lending me the book … "

    She's defined her whole life on whether there's a man in it or not. When there isn't, she races to get one. No matter that he's wrong – as long as there IS one. I knew this book would change her, and I'm so pleased. Thank you.

  16. "Maybe it makes sense to ship some local wines" must mean that you're seeing the light at the end of the pregnancy tunnel. :) I commented yesterday, but forgot the e-mail address rule. I'd caution about having your character live in the Marina, because a lot of San Francisco (never "san fran," please!) natives associate that (albeit nice) area with obnoxious sorority girls and frat guys. I like Duboce Triangle and the victorians in the Haight the best, but I could imagine you living in Nob Hill or Russian Hill (close to the action, but just really nice neighborhoods for people with money). Noe Valley is nice but is more of a scene for young yuppie families (I assume your show will be pre-guppies). Is this show about "you" or people like you? All the best!

  17. Wow- had to work late yesterday and missed your reading. I was so excited too! I actually live in the Marina (right down the street from Plumpjack) and I think it is really a trip living here. I am from Austin and just moved here a year and a half ago. You have to try my favorite restaurant in the Marina- A16. Foodie Heaven. Cheers! Looking forward to your pilot and as always- daily thoughts.

  18. Hey! Are you still in SF? I'd love to chat with you. If you need any ideas for the pilot, lemme know. I'm in the Marina, but I would suggest Pac Heights.

  19. I agree Russian Hill or Pacific Heights. "Marina" girl is a descriptive term my husband and I use to describe clueless, vapid women. So sorry I missed your reading in Austin.

  20. What is up with all this Marina bashing?? I live in the Marina – have for 12 years – it's gorgeous. Yes – GORGEOUS. 2 blocks from the water and Marina Green – half a block from Chestnut street – what could be more perfect. It's beautiful, clean, safe, fun, full of good restaurants and great little boutiques. Yeah – that's just SO horrible. So what if there are some young bouncey girls flitting about – there are in every neighborhood. I could make the same cliched assumptions about all the other neighborhoods – but what's the point. Get over the Marina bashing – it's a great neighborhood.

    Stephanie – i've been working so much i haven't been checking your blog – and am so disappointed to have missed you in San Francisco. It would have been fabulous to meet you. Hope all is well. I'm a native – let me know if you need any information about this fine city :)

    All the best – K

  21. Hope you're enjoying SF! If you're basing your pilot there, I'd say any of those areas are fine – though you probably wouldn't want to live in the Marina. The neighborhood is nice, but the scene is pretty obnoxious. There's so much good stuff to eat in the city – I hope you're enjoying it! Let us know where you went and what you did – and if you tried anything interesting. I used to live there but I haven't been back in a while. I am going in a few weeks, and will definitely go to Bay Bread, the Ferry Building, Tartine, and I am hoping to check out Delfina, Coco500 or Range. I definitely recommend Boulevard, probably my favorite restaurant anywhere. There are several good Bay Area food blogs with lots of info, including my favorite, Becks & Posh – Enjoy!!

  22. Have a great time and a great book reading in San Fran. I would be sooooo scared of stuttering!

  23. Are you always going to refer to him as 'The Suitor'? Now that you're married, how bout he gets a new name? I call mine hubby, or the KISA…Knight In Shining Armor, cause he's all about saving damsels in distress…

  24. I am not sure if I just haven't been paying attention or this is the first you've mentioned of San Fransisco as a home for the pilot. Either way, I think it's great. I as well would absolutely love to live there and the thought of Strait Up making a home there already has me intrigued. I did however marry a Texas woman and getting her to move to any other state, especially, California, would not only be very difficult but make my life miserable. Anyways, I'm excited.

  25. Love your blog and your book. But I have to say I am pretty hurt that you aren't basing the TV show in NYC. That would be like basing a story about a fish in the desert. As a NY girl, I consider it part of my identity, no matter where I actually lived (I always kind of got the same sense from you). Face it kid, you're a New Yorker.

  26. Stephanie,
    For God's sake, please post something new… seeing "Cocksucker" everytime I open your blog is making me crazzzzzzzzzzzzy… (-;

  27. you're not allowed to be pg and go this long without a post…………your loyal fans' minds will start imagining awful scenarios (or at least your jewish loyal fans with the reccessive worry genes).
    hope all is going ok!

  28. Please don't have the character based on you live in the Marina area of SF. It is filled with snobby yuppies who all try to act the same. It is not the place for a woman with an actual brain and personality. Your character would fit in more appropriately in noe valley, hayes valley or laurel heights.

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