The wedding planning has begun. It’s all very low-stress. La dee dah. The only thing I really have to worry about is securing a dress. We’ve already chosen the place, the date, and the oh-so-insane menu. Secured the rabbi. Cleared the date with our families. We’re in need of a photographer, certainly, a florist for simple arrangements. But the rest of it will pull together without much effort. There will be no dancing. The Suitor and I despise weddings where we’re forced to dance. There will be entertainment, but neither a band nor DJ will be involved. We can plan our New York wedding from here this summer. Which means I’m counting on our friends to help out. It also means we’re doing a lot of it online. So in my search for invitations, I found these. One day, I swear, one day I will have invitations like that. A cashmere-wrapped invitation or an adorable knit sweater with pine cones (save the date), or an actual nest with moss and feathers (for a baby shower). These things aren’t just so over-the-top and extraordinary, they’re smart. Oh how I long to have invitations like that. I know they’re silly and extravagant, but oh my, a girl can certainly dream.
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oh no.
wedding planning is so much fun. i'm sorry call me weird.
check out all the emily post books- available from your very own publisher!
they're just so fun and on point regarding rules and such. certainly go your own way but its nice to see what is out there in terms of traditions and ideas.
have fun with it
What's the point in being a girl if you can't be silly and extravagant and dreamy…at least part of the time?
Those are so over the top!
Congratulations! Yes, a photographer who can capture moments and emotion as well as you will be difficult to find.
All the best-
I'm with you on the forced dancing. I will probably have a DJ at my wedding, but am outlawing the maquerena, electric slide and any song that might start a spontaneous conga line.
I love it! I just had to bookmark it–I'm not planning on getting married–I'll be going on 20th anniversary trip to Italy later this year—but what a great idea! Memorable, really cute and oh so clever. Hmmm, I wonder if it would work for a 50th birthday party? Have fun with the planning and the details. And may you and The Suitor have a wonderful 20th Anniversary trip in your future!!
Pam :-)
Those invitations are quite extravagant. Wow. I would hate to see the price tag.
beware a wedding invitation company that can't spell "altar"
You mean no Funky Chicken or Macarena? No We Are Family or bouquet tosses or garter grabbin'?
Dreadful.
Any cake smashing planned?
I bet your menu is going to be to-die-for. What kind of cake are you planning?
You can get the cashmere wrapped invites and then make everyone use the scarf as an accessory to their outfit!
And too bad you can't just be your own photographer. You're good. Maybe get a body double to do the I Dos?
I used to be a wedding planner…I dont know how anyone does it without one!!! The process will be effortless with your taste though!
When else do you have an excuse where you can just PLAN to be silly and extravagent with all eyes on you?!
Be sure to check out paper-source.com. They have lovely invitations (and you can also make your own with their beautiful paper, which is what we did). Don't forget about your wedding program, save the date cards, menu, etc.!
Good luck with the wedding planning!!!
Glad to hear things have been so low-stress. If I can recommend two books that have been essential to me and my fiance to keep things low key.
For you: The Conscious Bride. Offers some really good insight into how women feel about getting married. It's a complex emotional process, even when you've found someone you love and will be happy with. Great book with a variety of perspectives. I've loved it and thought that it made things real. Love and wedding planning isn't always an easy path and this was a good book to read.
For Phil: The Engaged Groom. Not sure how invovled Phil will be with the planning, but this is a good one. It addresses a lot of concerns that men have about how and where to get involved. Phil sounds opinionated, so this might give him a good foundation for voicing his opinions. (It also has a section on bachelor parties that might address your fears.)
Good luck and have fun with it! Cashmere wrapped invitations are too hot to think about in July!
Something New Invitations are wonderful, and for dresses, I would definitely check out Pronovias- a gorgeous company in Spain. I love event weddings, doing something other than dancing will really make the day memorable. Have fun!
Stephanie,
I looked at redbliss for my wedding invitations. They do unbelievably beautiful work, although I ultimately went with another company.
I'm giving a rave review to Sarah Merians photography. We used Sheila although they have lots of wonderful photographers. After our wedding the venue added our pics to their sales portfolio – a pretty good endorsement!
Those invites are to die for! Being a bride on a budget there were only a few things I went overboard on. Invites were on the top of that list but when you need to order 150-200 of something it's just insane.
My hubby and I didn't have a dance either…no cake smashing, no dollar dance (I shudder at the thought), nothing. It was perfect! The extravagant food, our gorgeous bridal party, simple beautiful flowers…stuff memories are made of.
Best wishes…don't let it stress you out! My hubby told me I was allowed to freak out…little did he know it was going to be 3 times! :)
A unique idea that I used for my wedding, is for the place cards. Instead of calligraphed stationery, I made the cards out of wood veneer (lacewood) and laquered them and had them calligraphed. It was way cool, and more than a few people still have the cards displayed at their house.
The little sweater! Too cute.
You've gotta be kidding. A low-stress wedding? Elope online.
What kind of entertainment can there be that is not a band or a DJ? Anyhow, it sounds cool. Good luck!
Wow, those invitations are beautiful! At a "minimum order of $1,500" they're way out of my price league, for sure!
Having recently planned my own wedding (2nd time bride, too, Stephanie! November 2005), I found I placed more emphasis this time around on what *I* wanted, and didn't care what tradition said. We ended up having a hawaiian-themed wedding right on the water in San Diego on a picture-perfect 72 degree day.
In the end, we had the most beautiful wedding of all, and you can see it in our photos- we look so happy!
My one piece of advice? If you're going to splurge anywhere, do it on the photography! I did this time and I was so glad I did. I have the coolest wedding album I've ever seen. If you'd like to see the style album my photographer used, e-mail me and I'll e-mail you back some pages- it's all "magazine" style instead of the traditional album.
I think unique invitations are great. For our wedding invites, we took a picture of my husband's hand putting the engagement ring on my hand and then photo shopped the picture to a sketch drawing and used this as the background of our invites. We rolled the invites tied them with a ribbon, put them in a bottle and sent them in a box. The RSVP was a postcard photo of the yacht we got married on.
Best Wishes on the planning & wedding!
~G
Sundry-
No videographer?
On the DJ/Band, it's your wedding, but if you re-think this, I'd go with a DJ, but a real good one. They don't simply spin records, they are a Master of Ceremony. At our wedding, they really ran everything, the announcement, etc. And if there are any special tunes that comprise the fabric of your life, whether it's your mom, dad, sister, friends, or TS, they can get any song you want. It's the best money I ever spent.
I know you're Jewish, but there is a Catholic ritual called pre-Cana. I don't know that you really need to attend the class, but they have handouts which you and your partner fill out individually with maybe 100 questions. How many kids, who will watch them, who tracks the finances, who plans the vacations, etc. Theoretically, your answers should be the same. Realistically, they never are. Some of the differences are actually funny, but some differences are things you never thought about or discussed, and this opens that door. And it's far more practical than it is religious.
And last thing, a wedding is possibly the most stressful thing you can do in your life. Rewarding, but stressful. At some point, there will be yelling and crying. It doesn't mean anything, it's just the way it goes.
ARIEL, IN THE PAST YOU POSTED COMMENTS UNDER PENELOPE. PLEASE POST UNDER YOUR NAME.
I think I would get married all over again, just for the pleasure of the invites, flowers and goodies…so much fun!
Good luck Stpehanie, and of course the Suitor as well.
We're having an adult dinner party at a restaurant with a tasting menu. It's all about the food and wine. We want it to feel like a dinner party, not a wedding. There will be very little tradition. I want people to feel like it's a great night of food in New York, where you eat until you need to unbutton. Since it's in a restaurant, we don't need to worry about linens, pin spot lighting, or elaborate flowers. No dancing. Yick. Maybe one or two songs, over our iPod (since the restaurant is wired to hook up to an iPod).
The first time I planned a wedding, it was black tie, and it was grand. My escort table looked like a garden, with a grass top, and the escort cards were attached to flowers, sitting in the grassy bed. It was over the top. And it was cancelled. I'm not knocking myself (or our wallets) out again. It's about a marriage, not a wedding. We're keeping things simple. Though, I agree, it's all about the photographer. And dammit, I refuse to diet for this thing. So what if I look fat in the photos. I'm happy and in love. The rest of the shit just doesn't matter.
My sister is doing my make-up. I don't know who will do my hair (or how I'll wear it, though probably curly), and I guess I need to book a florist and figure out a bouquet and escort table soon. Ah, and find a damn dress, that's the crap bit. I might try using the Vera Wang ball gown I never wore, though I'll have to have it altered (I weighed ten pounds less then), and pull the netting out. But it might work. And since I've never worn it, it's not bad luck. Besides, I don't believe in that crap anyway.
Instead of the imported tropical flower centerpieces ($$$), we opted for festively wrapped baskets of groceries which were picked up and delivered to a food bank the following morning. We also added a few for our local SPCA with pet supplies from their wishlist $40.00 each and so worth it. For each guest we filled a nice, small white box with 2 bagels and cream cheese ,attached to the Sunday paper and tied with
raffia and a personal note. Thanks for letting me share these happy memories with you . Much happiness! Bonny
Try Reaves Engraving (www.reavesengraving.com) – they're in NC, but will send you amazing samples. I used them for my sister's wedding – gorgeous invitations. All you do is select the card stock and the font – etc – they do the rest and send them to you. The only way you can tell the difference btwn Reaves and say, Tiffany or Crane – is to hold it up to the light to see the watermark. They're really wonderful and incredibly well priced. Definitely check them out.
If i was in NY – i'd do the flowers for you :) I completely agree – people go so over the top in planning – every tiny detail manipulated to death. The older i get the more i'm into a really fabulous cocktail party – with gorgeous flowers and amazing champagne. It's about surrounding yourself with the people you love – so many people lose sight of that.
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
This all makes me exceedingly cheerful and reminds me of my wedding (#2 as well) last October 8. Las Vegas, sans le fromage. An exceedingly wonderful and pricey dinner for close friends at the Venetian. Nice pictures. Announcements send in absentia.
Think I'll go give the groom a little kiss. Thanks for this. I know it will be wonderful for you, for as you said, it is about a Marriage, not a Wedding.
Can I get an amen?
>
Brava!!
Oooh, the first wedding planning post!!! I cannot wait to see how all of this preparation unfolds over the next couple of months. After seeing pictures of your regular dinner parties I can only imagine what a Stephanie Klein wedding will look like! Don't know if you are looking for advice at all, but I'll add my unsolicted opinion to the pile you've gotten already: craigslist wedding forum is the best place to get wedding ideas for any and every budget and taste.
Wendy Mac, I'd love to hear which photographer you used…
$1500 minimum?? If only I'd studied graphic design. Since the guest list will be — I assume — on the small side, based on the size of most interesting NYC restaurants, and since you're not having a band or DJ, and since you're in love with redbliss, why not. . .?
"I'm not knocking myself (or our wallets) out again. It's about a marriage, not a wedding. We're keeping things simple. Though, I agree, it's all about the photographer. And dammit, I refuse to diet for this thing. So what if I look fat in the photos. I'm happy and in love. The rest of the shit just doesn't matter.
My sister is doing my make-up. I don't know who will do my hair (or how I'll wear it, though probably curly), and I guess I need to book a florist and figure out a bouquet and escort table soon. Ah, and find a damn dress, that's the crap bit. I might try using the Vera Wang ball gown I never wore, though I'll have to have it altered (I weighed ten pounds less then), and pull the netting out. But it might work. And since I've never worn it, it's not bad luck. Besides, I don't believe in that crap anyway."
This might be my favorite thing you've ever written… rock on wit' yo bad self!
My wedding:
Rings: $10 (mall kiosk)
Photography: $8 (disposable camera)
Postcards to send to relatives saying "Suprise! We got married!: $2
Marriage: PRICELESS
Best of luck! Can't wait to pore over the photos.
Hi Stephanie,
I had a great,low key (brunch) wedding last march. The BEST part was my dress (i am well endowed to say the least). Of course, the store is in Toronto, Canada, which may be kind of out of the way for you, but sooo delicious! Unfortunately she doesn't have a website, but I googled Lowon Pope (the store name) and you can find some images on line. They really don't do her work justice though, all her stuff is '20-30s vintagesque, beatiful, feminine and comfortable!
Best of luck!
Check out Kenny Pang for a photographer. I fell in love with his pictures as soon as I saw them. He's in Manhattan.
Love the look of those invites. I don't even want to know how much they cost in fear of coronary arrest.
Well if you don't go overboard on the invitations – then you can always have designer MMs at the table. You get to pick the color and the saying you want on the MMs. (You said you weren't dieting!) Here's the link just in case you're curious – http://us.mms.com/us/about/products/mymms/
Hey Stephanie! Have fun and worry about expenses later! Hopefully, you'll only do this once!
Get the invitations. Get whatever you want. You deserve it. Then, in the hard times, you can pull out the pictures and reminisce on the fairy-tale nature of it all. I've been divorced for 6 years, was married for 13, and honestly, my wedding was the most beautiful one I've ever seen.
Spare no expense.
Oh, yeah. Was also going to say that the Jewish tradition of the bride and groom taking a bit of time for themselves after the ceremony (apparently the original reason for the tradition was for the shtupping) is really one of the dearest, sweetest things a couple can do. Not being Jewish, but being keenly aware that we were all about the Marriage and not the Wedding, we did that.
We spent many such interludes together, away from the others, just smiling, giggling, reflecting, laughing, kissing, taking self-portraits, consoling our Russian Town Car driver (another story – he was possibly drunk and definitely depressed by our happiness), and generally being happy together alone.
Tradition!
Sounds lovely! I like the dinner party idea, very nice. I didn't know that you had a wedding that was cancelled. Did you ever blog about that?
I love the invitations! When the big day is?
Good luck and have a great planning!
I am only 6 days engaged, and already invitations and color schemes are dancing in my head. The paper-printing is definitely my favorite part of the party planning.
Stephanie, please take minute to check out melbarlow.com. She's a friend of a friend of a friend whose work is incredible. She's based in Huntington Beach, CA but works all over the country.
Whaaaat? You’re getting married??? I take a break from the Greek Islands and their tragedy and all this has happened! Note to self book mark this site at work ASAP.
I'm confused; is this the third wedding you've planned for yourself then?
Third time's a charm, one hopes, but I might put less energy into invites and more into premarital counseling.
After that, I agree with whomever said to splurge on the photography. We had a press sports photographer who was a good friend shoot ours as our gift; he handed us the undeveloped film to print as we wished. The candid shots were spectacular, and he was completely unobtrusive as he worked.
Those are really, really nice invitations, for your wedding Stephanie!!!
You got good skills in selecting styles and planning things.
To the Suitor & You, Best, of best from nice things that money can not buy, and good fortune, in everything else. And, oh yeah, what good is all that without an abundance of natural happiness, for both you and the suitor.
Glad to see this perfect magical day, that you have been waiting for so long, for, is soon to take place, right where it all started, in New York City.
Read Straight Up And Dirty for the full scoop on my cancelled wedding. I cover it in detail. All of it.
No unsolicited wedding advice here, but please promise you'll share lots (and lots and lots) of photos when it is through? I'd love to see it!
"We´re keeping things simple".
We did it the same way when we`ve married 4 years ago (and not only because our Baby was just 4 months old and we did`nt need more stress). A dress that I`ve ordered by catalogue, a menue with our family in a very beautiful place and – priceless – wonderful weather on a sunny day in August. The most expensive thing was our photographer, cause a good photographer is a MUST in my opinion. That`s all. If there is too much planning there will be stress, tears – who want`s that? It`s about a wedding, not a funeral! It`s like you`ve written in one of your posts: "…the sideline matters more".
Good luck!