I’m home sick with a cold, with more used tissues in a pile beside my bed than an adolescent boy.  My bedside table is covered in a tent of germs and books.  I’m reading (and highly recommend) He Comes Next by Ian KernerMaybe The Suitor will read She Comes First, next.  I think both books are very informative, and at least for the moment, motivational in trying to liven things up with role-playing and spontaneity.   I was fascinated to learn there’s a name for multiple orgasms in men.  "Multiejaculation, in which a man experiences a series of partial ejaculations."  I thought the guy I dated back in college who did this was just a freak of nature.  This multiple-mess might sound lovely to men, the notion of it.  Multiple orgasms.  I assure you, it is not.  It’s annoying, like a street with a stop sign every two blocks.  Just as I was getting hot, he was getting off.  Then again.  And again.  It involved way more tissues than my cold.  I know women who swear by their vibrators, tell me they give themselves clitoral orgasms until tears come streaming down their faces.  So many, they say.  Intense.  I don’t believe them.  I don’t think they’re lying, but for me, it’s much more about the build up than the finish.  It’s intense and amazing when it takes longer, when I have to work for it.  It’s about squirming at the plateau and hoping I don’t climax yet; I don’t enjoy easy.  That’s why I love make-up sex.  Sweaty, passionate, hard.  Hair-pulling.

More importantly, or not, in my reading I learned about "Retrograde ejaculation, or injaculation," where a guy ejaculates inside his bladder instead of through his urethra, so he has an orgasm, but nothing comes out.  There’s no proof or tissues.  Apparently tantric sex books list it as their "money shot," the best tantric orgasm one can have.  I don’t believe the book gets into how one achieves this type of orgasm.  I’ll keep reading.

I’ve finished reading my own book and am now onto selecting the photographs that will appear in Straight Up & Dirty.  Black and white.  Vertical.  I can’t decide.  Each time I blow my nose, Linus comes running over in a buzz of feet and nails that need to be clipped.  It sounds like he’s wearing cleats. Click, click.  Click.  He’s certain he can steal away with my white purse of "nature’s candy."  "No, noodle, not for you, but while you’re here, which photo do you prefer?"  I’m losing it.

When I was younger and sick with a cold, my mother used to hold the tissue over my nose and tell me to "just blow."  You can’t do that!  I need to pinch one side, then the other, for anything productive.  "Give it to me," I might have said.  She did it wrong.  I don’t know if parents know to do this for their children, just as I didn’t really know you can’t "just blow."  There’s an entire pelvis going on that has been neglected!



  1. It's a good time to be sick, Stephanie – what with the blizzard you all have out there right now! Can't go anywhere anyways! I could go for a sick day right about now….

  2. Stephanie, I swear that AirBorne works! Take it next time when you feel symptoms coming on. Sounds like you need some chicken soup and knaidlach which, in my opinion, is one of three foods that comes close to an orgasm.

  3. Someone I've known for a long time does that tantric thing where he doesn't outwardly ejaculate. So odd… He explained it to me once, saying that the theory is that so much energy is lost by ejaculating outwardly that it is wasteful. So, they/he keeps it to conserve energy or something. I thought it was an odd explanation, but maybe on a molecular level, I guess. Just seems that those who practice tantric sex wouldn't be very interested in the thermodynamics of biochemical reactions…. hehe.

  4. "I'm home sick with a cold, with more used tissues in a pile beside my bed than an adolescent boy." Wow! That made me crack up so much. (it's so sad that it's true!) And it's so great to hear about the process of the book. I know everyone's extremely excited!

  5. I'd been married less than a year when my mother-in-law, during a walk at Baltimore's Inner Harbor, told me about injaculation. I almost choked on my caramel apple. I'm pretty sure she wasn't speaking from experience, but it was definitely a defining moment in our relationship.

  6. There`s never a good time to be sick but atleast you have some interesting reading. I hope you feel better soon.

  7. You're right, you do have to do that one nostril thing for the children. And with babies, you have to suck it out with the bulb because they can't even "just blow". None of which is sexual in my context, but you can take it from here…


  8. I didn't understand all the clever word plays either. I hate it when I do this with my own writing. Cleverness is just a concealer for real emotion.

  9. Its true the airbone does work! And I have also heard socks work better too! I actually quite enjoyed this post, bringing together all the different things the body can "ooze" out in a way that is actually enjoyable to read and that I can connect to on many levels! Hope you're "enjoying" the snow!

  10. My boyfriend does the inejaculation thing. Only he didn't tell me this until about two weeks after we started having sex, so there I was, wondering why he never "came" (he would sound like he did, and and would tell me he did, but I always thought he was lying becuase there was never any "mess"). Sometimes it's great because it takes a much shorter time for him to be ready to go again…and sometimes it's not great for that particular reason, mainly when I'm super tired or just not into it.

  11. Tissues? Never! When I invite you to come in, "come" in. Don't leave early. Stay in as long as you can. Hate when you leave, so please don't leave early.

  12. HAHA thats so funny cuz I have always made my 4 yr old blow one nostril at a time– hahahahahahaha–so so true– just the blow doesn't really get anything out– OK Gross! bye

  13. I couldn't help myself. Curiosity got the best of me.

    I checked out the book on-line. I can't wait to have it in my hot little hands, so being the dork I am, I am going to pre-order it, just so that I can be one of the first to get it.

    Way to go, Stephanie!

  14. I had read that injaculating is actually unhealthy and can cause many problems.

  15. From a guys point of view that is just wrong. The last thing I am going to do is injaculate, what the hell? The whole point of ejaculating is to do just that, hell the women I have been with would have killed me for doing that. I'd also have to say from a guys stand point, I can go multiple times without having to do the injaculate, maybe other guys should work on that aspect, I'd rather things go out more often then visit my bladder.

  16. Straight Up & Dirty will be available 4th of July Weekend. It is a weekend right? I'm thinking of starting a book club for it, with online chat, etc. on this site. Maybe with my iSight camera. Linus can sit on my lap (don't read into that).

  17. Tissues by the bed! That's pretty funny! My partner and I use washrags. They are tough enough to deal with the requirements of the situation. Tissues? Too puny!

  18. Starts off with multi-ejaculation and winds up with "Just Blow." What have I missed in my deadline-mandated absence? Looks like I better cordone off an extra hour to catch up.

    Hope you had a decent Valentine's Day despite the (lingering) cold. Celebrating a day like that mid-week — ie on a Tuesday — sucks anyway. No time for multiple male orgasms after dinner ;)

    BTW, in addition to the multiple ejaculation thing, there is the NGS (Never Go Soft) thing. It's a lot less painful than it sounds, and my other half doesn't seem too upset by it :)

    Get/Feel better soon…


  19. Loved this entry! I do believe it's the 'getting there' that makes sex intense. The make up sex—that cannot be beat! I break up just to make up sometimes. As far as the multiple orgasms men can have—cumming into his bladder?????????? Is that unhealthy? I never heard of that before! But then again, what do I know about men? Very interesting though.

    I hope you feel better! My partner and I just got over the flu. Something's going around…

  20. Question: If men can ejaculate from within—does this mean that they conquered what's ours? The concept of "FAKING IT"???? Hmmmmmm….very interesting. Those of you who have men that can do this better look for the signs! ;)

  21. a day as a lion is better than 100 days as a sheep … we say in Italy. injaculation??? bah…

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