"[Stephanie] please arrive hair and make up ready as there will be no hair and makeup artist on the shoot. Please wear something you feel sexy and comfortable in." –New York Magazine
Fuckity fuck!
Sexy and comfortable? Is there such a thing? Yes, yes, we know, when a woman is comfortable, she is sexy. Whatever, I assure you my Tide with Downy oversized pajamas are not recherché. And, I have a hint of a feeling that me in a wifebeater, no bra, won’t photograph as well as one would hope.
Will they be photographing my entire body? I mean will my shoes matter? Maybe they’ll matter only so far as how I’ll project sexy in them. What a hoax.
I know I have hundreds of photographs of myself on this site, mostly posed, but none were taken in a studio beneath lights, and certainly none were taken of me standing beside women who write about sex. Noon, today, I’m showing up for the New York Magazine photo shoot, only this time, I’ll be in front of the camera. So now the question is, what will I wear, and how will I wear it? I thought about this yesterday, when I was in the Time Warner Center, on my way up the escalator. I watched the women as they came down the escalator, hearing strings of their conversations. "I’m a shopping madwoman," one girl said, dramatically lifting her shopping bags as proof to her friend. I’m not. I go in spurts where I won’t buy a thing for close to five months, but then on a random day with no plans of shopping, I will buy in bulk. I have other friends who shop every weekend, scouring the 23rd street flea market. I don’t do this. I have no patience for shopping. Some women can walk into a store, know they have no money to spend, yet still need to touch nearly every item of clothing. They open up sweaters, then makeshift fold them, unaware of how long it took the sales associate to align the pile.
What I do know:
I have a kickass bra. I will get my eyebrows threaded now. I will swing into the Soho Bloomingdales and force a Smashbox lady to do my makeup. I will probably be late… as I always am.
