privacy, even I like some

I showered today which was a bonus.  But when I got home again (which means I made it out), he was watching March of the Penguins.  So it wasn’t the best day.  Baby chicks were dying.  "I’m going to bed now," I said scurrying away with Linus to the bedroom to watch Something’s Gotta Give… again. 

At least we’re lucky enough to have two televisions.  Life will be bliss when we have two bathrooms.  Separate bedrooms, however, I don’t think will ever be okay.  I know couples who do it, the whole separate bedroom rig.  Okay, I don’t know know couples, but I know people whose parents are happily married, but who sleep separately.  A MID, in fact.  His parents had different rooms, "because he worked late hours, and she was a light sleeper."  Snoring.  Likes to sleep with the television on.  I don’t care how important my sleep ever becomes; I cannot imagine ever being okay with my significant other sleeping in a significantly seperate but equal bedroom (or bed). 

But a dressing room will do nicely.  I could stand for that.  I hate when he comes into the bedroom when I’m getting dressed.  HATE, like I hate tuna fish or treadmills or April 15.  I become my mother, ducking into the closet screaming, "stop staring!  Go away."  He just stands there staring anyway, ignoring my demands. 
"God, you’re beautiful!"
"Stop looking," I scream as a wiggle to cover myself with corners of clothing.  "OUT!!!"  No one wants her man to see her mid-hoist in the hoisting of the control-top pantyhose.  No one.  "OUT!!!" 
Then, to top it off, I try to change the subject through the bedroom door, once he’s thrown out.  "So tell me about your day, honey."
"Well, you know Stephanie, you should really go back to the gym!  It had been forever, and I kept putting it off, but it felt so good…"
"I’m sorry," I say ducking my head back out into the living room.  "If you’d like to remain alive, you’ll never begin any statement to me ever with ‘you should really go to the gym,’ okay?"  I was teasing him.  Of course I knew it wasn’t some statement about my body; it’s just his way of expressing what a great day he had, how he got over his ‘back in the saddle again’ hurdle.  I gave him a hard time just the same.  You know, to round things out a bit because that’s what we do. 



  1. Oh you two are so cute. I hate being watched too, but I love being a hypocrite and watching my boyfriend walk scantily clad, picking dirty clothes off the floor to put on :)

  2. I see that a number of your friends, in the photographs below, have incredibly fake looking teeth. They're not even trying to look real. I find it very distracting when looking at them.

    Thank you for keeping things real….

  3. Am guessing that over this side of the pond I've missed the significance of April 15?

    Only interesting things a quick google found for that day were it was the day when the Wordsworths spotted some daffodils ("I wandered lonely as a cloud…") and that it's Jackie Robinson day.

    I'm not the world's heaviest sleeper but find it easier with a human hot water bottle to keep me snug ;-)

  4. Or when you half-laying on the end of the bed struggling to zip up the "skinny jeans" that can only be zipped in a flat position. They just aren't supposed to see that!

  5. Is he insane!!! Suggesting that you go to the gym? Almost everyone should go to the gym, but that is the last thing in the world you should suggest to a woman, particularly your partner. I have done it myself, but in a very backhand sort of way, in the tail-end of a conversation that starts with 'you should go more often', and ends with 'maybe you could join Curves?'. I love my wive as she is, but if we both want to be healthy involved people when we're 75-80, we can't wait until 70-75 to improve our health. It was nice of you to allow him to live.

    Richard, April 15th is the deadline for filing our personal income tax returns. It is not a fraction of how difficult most people make it out to be, but by putting it off to the last day, losing a couple of key forms, and waiting until the last day to ask questions better off asked 3 months earlier, it becomes a great burden to a great number of people, including myself.

  6. I don't mind getting dressed together either but there are certain times you don't want him to see the weird things you will wear to push up or flatten out, etc.
    But I will say….there's nothing like a man in towel to wake you up in the morning!!

  7. Now why exactly would you be wearing control-top pantyhose ;-) I just saw your '06 pics.

    I say leave the door open, let him watch you…..and dream about it all day long….you are stunning and what he wants to see.

    I don't mind the getting dressed together part, I just hate the talking to me while I am sitting on the edge of the sink blow-drying my hair thing. Timing on the blow out is EVERYTHING.

  8. i too hate it when my boyfriend watches me get ready. he says he likes to. i kick him out of the bedroom. i dont mind him seeing me at my worst, or in the morning, or without makeup or half dressed, i just HATE him watching the process of me getting ready. it drives me nuts.

  9. the real question is why are you wearing pantyhose at all? stop!!!! bare legs, or if you must, fishnets.

  10. It's funny – i've heard lots of people bring up this seperate bed issue in one way or another over the past few weeks. I had never really heard people talk about it before.

    My husband and I spend a fair amount of time sleeping in seperate rooms, but only if I'm working on a big project (or he is) and know that i'm going to indulge my neurotic tendency to get up a few times in the middle of the night to work on it, or not get to bed until 3 or 4am.

    It's not like I recommend it or anything, but it's just not a big deal, I know he's not going anywhere (and that it's not indicative of some big relationship problem) and that he's a few feet away if I want to crawl in. But i've also had insomnia since I was a kid.

    It just doesn't seem like a big deal to me – not that you made it out to be one – it's just that I feel like everyone is talking about it lately. Weird.

  11. I really don't understand why you don't let him watch you get dressed?? Why?
    I love the look my man gets in his eyes when he watches me getting dressed – a combination of lust and fascination – I think he is really intrigued by the ritual of it all.
    Also – pantyhose??? Who wears these anymore?? It

  12. I must defend the hose here. I was wearing a cream colored skirt with very high carmel colored knee-high boots. I needed a pair of sheers to keep me warm and help me feel "tucked in." No one could tell I was wearing them.

  13. My husband and I have separate bedrooms and we are both 35 years old. We've been married for 6 years. It's awesome. We have the best relationship of anyone i know. when we want to have sex, we have sex and it's GREAT and when we want to sleep, we go to our own separate rooms, and sleep in our own comfy beds. I can keep the light on or I can turn it off. I can work on the computer. I can wake up 5:00 and turn on the lights if I feel like it. The best part of all is that it is MY SPACE, decorated exactly the way I WANT … all girly and pink, with ruffles. And his room is a man's room, exactly the way he wants it. ITS GREAT. I highly recommend separate bedrooms.

  14. my parents start off in the same bed most nights, but one of them usually winds up waking up on the couch or in the guest bedroom. My grandparents also had separate bedrooms. They were married for over 60 years. It seems to run in my family, but hopefully I'll break the cycle.

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