I’ve been around the chopping block of Manhattan for the past 12 years. I’ve done Oscar Blandi, Antonio Prieto, and West 14th’s own Edris Salon, but now it’s a blur. Some have seduced me, but which of these were only called upon out of desperation? For highlights or a blowout, an updo, or bridal consultation? I don’t recall who it was, ever, to last cut my hair, but I promise, it was never a boldfaced name. I’m a hair slut, bouncing from salon to salon over the years without any loyalty.
Perhaps if I booked an appointment with the hairest of them all, Garren, I’d be loyal, but I cannot justify spending $600 for someone to trim dead matter from my head. I’ve let Thom Priano have his way with me more than once, but the last time, he left me unsatisfied complaining, still, of many a dead end. I do recall opting for a woman at Pierre Michel Salon, but she had hair envy and refused to remove the requested four inches.
My mother and her girlfriends swear by the hair orgy. They invite one very talented Jean Luc (not Madam Tong’s owner) to one of their homes, then, he cuts three of them in an afternoon. Whereas my closest girlfriends in the city pass along their favorite hair guru’s name and number in a whisper. "I swear by him." Of course I don’t trust them, with their long straight locks. I won’t go to anyone who doesn’t specialize in curls.
I’m beginning to look like a country western singer again. It’s time for a haircut. I think I’m going to look for one of those student specials, where on a weekday afternoon, a stylist in training will cut your hair for one less zero, making the cut $30 not $300. A mid-level cut at a top salon usually costs about $130, more with a top stylist. And partial highlights are usually upwards of $175! This is why I only cut bi-annually.
While I’m all about the ouidad products, each time I’ve opted for a cut at the ouidad salon, I’ve been disappointed by their "carving technique." It sounds like it would do the job, leaving me with soft springy ringlets. Yes, when they style it, I leave looking like a bouncy girl on the good ship lollipop, but when I try to replicate the style at home, my hair is the same as it ever was, only shorter. Clearly it’s all about the product application.
The best cut I’ve ever had was with Damien at the Bumble & Bumble Salon in the 50s. I’ve hit the Avon Salon which was okay at best. Zane, I believe was his name, told me the last person who did my highlights must have been "new to the process." I love how stylists do this. "Oh dear, this won’t do. My goodness, who touched you last?" Gasps. I feel like ripping the turban off my head and bitch slapping him with it.
"It’s not that bad, psycho Mary. Now shut your trap and do what I’m paying you to do." No wonder I have a hard time understanding why anyone would confide in her hairdresser. Never mind loyalty. I want a slam bam thank you Sam, and let’s not ruin this with words.
