a year ago today

January 2004: You’ve read about my dog, my music, my favorite chick flicks, my friends, and my growing up as Moose.  You know I wear Creed’s Fluer de The Rose Bulgarie, and when people are near me, they say the room smells good. 

You know I was betrayed by an ex. You know I began the year with a wax leaving a square smaller than a Triscut, but larger than a Wheat Thin, and now I’m working on growing it out.  You’ve read about my kissing habits in fourth grade, to my recent lefty kisses.  I’ve covered vertical tacos, Cleveland steamers, a dirty sanchez, a Jersey turnpike, and a felcher.

You know what I want and don’t want in a man, and especially how I find didactic as sexy as a good smile.  You know I get very nervous from the idea of meeting his parents.  You know I’ve tried meeting him on match.com.

You know I have a problem with recency, and that I’m afraid I’m so fcuked up, I’ll never find a healthy romantic relationship. You know a year ago I cried in the bathroom at work, now I masturbate in it instead.  I eat and drink alone at bars and restaurants.  You know what my ideal life would be.

You know I’ve done the blog nerd out thing, gone to a whole slew of birthday parties, and that I photograph all the really good pictures for the press.

I have an amazing memory for detail, but I still write in a notebook.

You’ve learned about my mother, father, and sister Lea, and how we bickered in cars, and later how she dealt with foreign cars.

And you learned most of that all in just one month of my writing. In January ’04.

So what has changed since then? The photographs are up on walls of a hotel. The book is on the way. I’ve been doing much more writing, and not as much photography. I’d like to shoot more. I’ve become friends with many other bloggers, and I’ve met many a reader.  While I still hate museum dates, I like going by myself. I’m still eating alone, but now, it’s by choice. I sometimes go on non-dates.  Of course I’d still like to meet someone, but maybe it’s not time yet.  It’s all about timing. And when it does happen, I hope he’s the kind of guy who will hold on. Most importantly though, it will hopefully happen when I’m not even noticing… we’ll fall in like first.

I still have a strength of life.

I’m nearly almost jonesing for a good burger, and I’ll always have a thing for the acoustic guitar. I’m less needy and less angry. I weigh more. I feel much better about Nyack. My hair is shorter now. I’ve learned disciplining my anxious dog involves a water gun. I’m going on a lot of artist dates by myself, and I’m smiling a lot more.




  1. Congratulations Stephanie!! You've accomplished a great deal for yourself and it sounds like you're letting yourself enjoy all of it. That's very hard to do!

  2. Happy Blog Anniversary, it's been a lot of fun reading your words and looking at your amazing photos. You inspire me. Look forward to more of the same in the year ahead.

  3. Yes indeedy, Happy Aniversary. Your photographs are beautiful, Stephanie…I love the cottage in Nyak and the photos of Paris…used to live there and you captured moments that made me remember… Oh, and BTW, the recent one of the lovely flowers is now my screen saver…so so pretty!

  4. I have only been reading for about a month now, but congratulations on the anniversary! I have read just about everything from the past year and applaud you for writing about your life. I look forward to the next year! Keep it up and good luck with it all.

  5. wow ! has it only been a year? it seems much longer then that. what a neat trip down memory lane this last entry has been. congratulations on making it this long, and i hope this coming year is even better. keep up the great writing!

  6. You so rock. Bigger and better things to come in '05! Tks for your friendship (and the link). Somewhere in Greece, sitting on a huge rock on a hilltop, Sisyphus is smiling bigtime.

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