oprah at night

There’s probably nothing worse than outliving your children.  Burying your children has to be the hardest thing a human has to face.  Second to that, imagine coming home to your dead wife, and dead dogs, who died from carbon monoxide poisoning.  How do you laugh again?  Honestly, how do you have the strength to move on?  It’s your life, coming home to the safest place you’ve ever know, and it becomes a source of grief.  Your home, all sense of it, escapes you, and you feel lost in the world.  Can you imagine coming home to the love of your life, lifeless in your home, on your carpet, with your dead animals?  How do you ever sleep again.  You grieve, and any joy you’ve ever felt escapes you.  You don’t know from joy anymore.  I don’t know how you go on from there, but people do.  We bury loved ones, and we go on.  And people call you strong, but you don’t feel strong.  "You’re so incredibly Strong" doesn’t resonate.  You’ve heard it before, so you know they’re talking about you.  But otherwise, you know it’s not strength.  You just try to get by every day, and hope time will heal your pain, or numb it. And time does heal grief.  I can’t imagine losing the people I love, despite knowing it will happen one day.  I will just love them every second I can. 

I’m thankful for Linus’ health, for my family, friends, and my own health.  We’re all okay today.  I came home last night to Oprah on TV.  I leave the television on for Linus while I’m out.  It makes me feel like I’m leaving him with company.  Then I was ready to blog about rude text messaging practices, when I came home to Oprah.  I fell asleep with Linus in my arms.



  1. What you have described is possibly the saddest thing in the world that can happen to anyone. I know two different families that lost their sons in car/motorcycle accidents when their sons were between the ages of 17-25. It is very tragic. It is not supposed to happen that way.

    Initially the families are in shock, which can last for days to weeks or at least until after the funeral. Then the reality sets in where they know they will never see their child again. It is here that they need other people for strength to go on. They do not have the strength yet. I don't know how they actually do go on. I guess the only way to go on is that you know that your loved on would have wanted you to go on.

    You will never forget that person and you will always be reminded about them, but time does heal the grief.

    Once you have experienced this as an outsider, you realize that life is very short and no one really knows when you may lose a loved on. So you should love them for all that they are and let them know that everyday.

  2. The first thing I thought of while I read this was "Is Linus ok?". It has that tone to it, since you keep repeating things about dead animals. He's ok, right?

  3. I'm confident Linus is healthy and kissing his mommy good-bye as she leaves for work right now.

  4. Read the entire post and you will see Linus is fine…

    "I'm thankful for Linus' health, for my family, friends, and my own health. We're all okay today."

  5. a quick trip to oprah.com will show you exactly what stephanie is talking about. a show yesterday called: When You Accidentally Kill Someone. I might be sad all day now.

  6. This post made me really sad. I haven't checked a computer since I left work Wednesday. I came home last Wed., to learn that a neighbor's dog had killed my cat. As if that wasn't terrible enough, I then found out that the owner of the dog had taken my cat (knowing it was mine), thrown her in a plastic bag and disposed of her in a dumpster. The dog had broken her neck. She was all in one piece and yet this insensitive woman took it upon herself to just throw out MY PET. She wasn't going to tell me, but did after the fact when she realized I was going to start asking around and all fingers would eventually point to her. She didn't apologize, she didn't show any remorse or any regret for my not being able to give my Kitty a proper burial. I hate this woman now. I tried to find Kitty in the dumpster. I shifted through bags of trash with the manager of the store the dumpster was at, but we couldn't find her. I just wanted to sit there and cry until I found her. I wanted to bring my dog to sniff around and find his buddy. But I had to let her go. I can't get the image of her lifeless body in a trash bag out of my mind though. I wish I could've done something to save her. Anyhow, I know this isn't the same thing as losing a child or a spouse…..but the loss of a pet, to many, is equally as difficult to bear. The thing is on top of being sad, I am more outraged by the owner of this animal–this human being who is supposed to be so intelligent–for using such poor judgement in this situation. Her actions prove that once again, humans aren't always the smartest, stronger, more compassionate beings.

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