19 days of nonsense

Don’t start thinking I follow sports; I don’t, not even the NY Knicks, and I love the Knicks (though I do believe basketball is the one sport where you can really appreciate the talent of the athletes).  I heard it on Live! with Regis and Smelly this morning.  “19 consecutive days of football air this fall.”  I’ll be lining up the Tivo with Dr. Phil episodes to combat the insanity.

“Women don’t like football because they don’t understand it.”  My father mutters into his paper.  He is wrong.  You’re all dead wrong. 

I used to have season tickets to the New York Giants.  I hated going to games, mostly because the food at Giants Stadium is for shite.  I mean even the junk food tastes off.  Give me some dogs, mustard, and a baseball cap and I’m pretty happy, but football in Jersey?  Just kill me now.

Nothing ever happens.  “Oh my god!!!  Did you see that fcuking pass!  Jesus Christ!”  Ahem, what happened?  Oh, someone threw a ball, and someone actually caught it.  Wow.  Watching east coast football is nearly as absurd as 19 consecutive days of it.



  1. you don't like football? this is where i have to break up with you. sorry.

  2. Why you gotta talk shit on jersey? In any case, I can understand developing an aversion to
    football as a result of watching the Giants…now the Redskins, that's a whole diff't thing.

  3. Stephanie,
    With write-ups featuring your ass, football, and porn, its become apparent your blog is an attempt to lure men your way. is that what this is about?
    Also, your football commentary should be kept to yourself. There's nothign worse than a girl bitching about football, which to many men, defines passion.

  4. Is this where we pile drive Ross? Cause if so, I'm in.

    So listen, Ross, as far as I can tell, this a personal website and if the girl hates football, she can say she hates football. I happen to like the sport immensely and can still say that on no uncertain terms, if football defines a man's passion… well, then, he's got no place in my bed.

  5. hey watch the Jersey comment!!! Are you nuts?? You gave up season tix to the Giants?? You know how hard it is to get those? The waiting list is long as hell. Here I am going on about it and I am not even a Giants fan…

    Football is just a thing guys watch. Its not that women don't understand it (the game) the don't understand the draw it has to men. Its just something we love and really no need to explain further than that.

  6. Ross, if I wanted to lure boys here, I'd post a picture of my breasts, not my ass. Let's begin there, shall we? And since when is a woman detesting football a turn-on? Right, that's what I thought. So think before you speak. And, most porn makes men paranoid… so you do the math…

  7. Wow, Stephanie, fabulous essay. I'm an all-male Army veteran, and I'm with you on this one. I liked football in college, but it's been years since the game as it is televised had a real appeal to me. Clumping is about right. I will acknowledge, however, that the NFL playoffs are fun to watch, because they're really trying. But mostly pro ball and college ball are dull.

    Go, Fish! :)

  8. You hate football? This is where I have to fall for you. Not sorry about it.

  9. Several years ago, a sportswriter posed the following queries in an article: a) "[o]f women with equal physical beauty, which do men find more appealing — one who thinks Walter Payton could be Peyton Manning's father, or one who actually knows that the white Peyton threw for 4,200 yards this season, while the black Payton's career yard rushing total was 16,726; and b) "why are men intimidated by a woman who knows more about sports than they do?"

    I replied with the following: "I think that the former would be far more appealing because it suggests there is a slim possibility she doesn't watch football (I hope I selected the right sport) often. Nevertheless, the fact that she knows the name of two athletes is frightening.

    Men who are intimidated by a woman who knows more about sports than they do have much growing up to do and room for intellectual development. Few things are as appealing as learning from another person, even if it is about something one imagined oneself to be something of an expert.

    Frankly, whenever I read in a personal ad a woman describe herself as someone who watches sports on TV or attends games I cringe and go on to the next profile. Even if she is appealing in every other respect, I resist the temptation to think that she's just stating that to get men to write to her. I detest watching sports on TV or attending games, unless I am playing. Men who talk about sports send me into a critical state of acute narcolepsy. I would rather read the names in the phone book aloud for a few hours. And this is from someone who played soccer and baseball for over 12 years while growing up.

    To be honest with you I would rather go shopping with a woman for 7-9 hours—a talent I picked up from my father, God rest his soul—until our feet ache than watch 1 hour of football. I would rather hear her complain for a few hours about something absurd than watch 5 minutes of baseball–honestly! That's how much I detest watching baseball. One man's nightmare is another man's vision."

    SK, I am not the only one. So keep looking, and don't think you need Diogenes's lamp and a bright sun to find him (or them), just enough perspicacity to separate those drowning in sports trivia from those with unblemished minds.

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