I’m at the library with books stacked to my chin; it’s the Holiday Preamble, a preface to the pudge, a prologue to the pounds. Planning for the holiday season makes me want to smack my mama and roll her in…
October 31, 2011
children of the corn
Far bigger than my balls, I have an enormous set of lungs. I can belt it out with the best of ‘em. That’s right, while other women might go sans bra or honest best friend (who lets you just chafe…
October 25, 2011
on becoming a fossil
“Mama? What are fossils?”
I have no idea. I mean, I have some idea. I know they are proof, that it’s hardened sand or rock, prints captured. I try to explain this, hoping I’m right. “Fossils? Well, do you know…
October 19, 2011
yes, we have no bananas (that will please you, bitch)
This morning at Blendz Cafe in Woodfield Country Club, a woman, mid-50s, brunette ponytail, racer-back tank, coordinated running shorts, says to the bartender in a voice loud enough for me to turn and stare, to see who would actually speak…
October 13, 2011
book clubbing + new friend loving
Tonight was good. I had planned to meet a few women for drinks and dinner, then I’d race off early to make it to the new book club I was invited to join. Love nights like that, where you get…
October 11, 2011
in the wish + all that jazz
This was totally me. This is the life I’d always imaged from my one-bedroom Upper West Side apartment. I wanted this *right here,* this kid-sopped life of learning, finger paint, and gusto. A life with a smock. And I’m in…
October 3, 2011
putting the jingle back in my balls
“Work hard, play hard,” I once said, “turns out to just be hard.”
Well, that was just plain wrong. Work hard, play hard—shouldn’t they be two in the same? We’ve all heard it. Hell, I’ve said it. Work, if you’re…
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November 8, 2011
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