August 4, 2004

13 Comments

and that’s one to grow on

Dating is just like taking the S.A.T.’s. Everyone asks how you did, and you’re either too embarrassed to say or you want to scream it from the rooftops. The S.A.T.’s don’t really measure much of what you’ve learned or accurately…
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August 3, 2004

5 Comments

off the shelf

I never really had to scrape. I mean there’s always American Express, so I never lived on pancakes, dined on cereal, or feasted on Ramen. In college, I baked a wheel of brie on 325 degrees while I wrote my…
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August 1, 2004

18 Comments

bachelorette number 1

Gyrating men in thongs with fire hoses don’t equal Scores or VIP Room.  Men invite women who can make their vaginas wink, peel hard-boiled eggs, and serve ping-pong balls across the room.  Lap dances and meat-whistles make up many a…
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July 30, 2004

18 Comments

wedding date

People I know are getting married, MARRIED, and I can’t even find a date. Jennifer keeps offering, but I was hoping for a man. The problem is, you don’t want to bring just anyone to a wedding. As the maid…
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July 29, 2004

21 Comments

sex of a city

Every city has sex. London is unmistakably male, Paris is a woman, and Manhattan is bi-sexual. Their personalities weave into the houndstooth, through the curve of a door handle, and hang like flour over the bakery at dawn. Paris is…
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July 26, 2004

14 Comments

skipper

REMOVED BY AUTHOR…
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July 24, 2004

3 Comments

suzara’s soiree

“I don’t think I can motivate. It’s raining and my stomach is distended.” I am still in my bathrobe and should be ready to leave in 10 minutes for Suzara’s birthday soiree at Tiki Room. “Just throw on jeans and…
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July 22, 2004

0 Comments

her-maze

I was lost at Hermes. Lost because I was dizzy and hungry and promised food. I kept looking for my pellet, but only found small bowls of nuts near the makeshift white wine bar. Needless to say, I cozied up…
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