Stephanie Klein Greek Tragedy

I’m secretly interested in:

philosophy, from Pascal to Plato
in art history, but I fear I’ll get bored in the details
finance, not Wall Street, but my own finances.  I need Suze Orman books or to take an investment course.…

rainy camp days of letter writing, jacks over slippery baby powder, headphones, and playing sardines: where everyone is "it"playing monkey-in-the-middlehaving a favorite crayon colorwhen my father made breakfast, eggs, cracking bacon, and carmalized onionsthe smell of the newspaper in my…

It began when I heard about this article telling women to laugh at his stupid jokes, buy his friends a round of cosmos (ew), and know all about his favorite sport.  I nearly spit out my whiskey. 
Ways to Woo…

January 2004: You’ve read about my dog, my music, my favorite chick flicks, my friends, and my growing up as Moose.  You know I wear Creed’s Fluer de The Rose Bulgarie, and when people are near me, they say the…

MEN TO AVOID.  PERIOD.

His idea of talking dirty in bed is telling you he has a cock.
If he wants to cook you a romantic dinner on the second date, he’s cheap.
The guy who believes a “meaningful conversation”…

I LOVE THE TASTE OF: wet salted butter on white toast, fries with salt and garlic mayonnaise, nutmeg in bolognese sauce, cream cheese frosting, Magnolia Bakery’s banana pudding, crusty bread soaked in white wine steamed mussel liquid, crunchy peanut butter…

Things said to me tonight:
Write about masturbating tonight, and email me the story tomorrow.
Hi Tiffany.
Oh my god, are you Stephanie Klein? The Stephanie Klein?
Is your hair really strawberry blonde?
Give me your number.
Call me back.…

Lattice pies, toasted pumpkin seeds dusted with salt, mittens and gloves. Hay rides, Indian corn, cinnamon, and socks. Hand-outlined turkey shapes, Pilgrim hats, and jack-o-lanterns made of construction paper and Elmer’s Glue. Seeing breath.
Doggie sweaters, tumbling gourd centerpieces, and…