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go ahead, we’ll make more

August 6, 2008

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go ahead, we’ll make more

Truth: I’m in my New York room under the covers, and I’m exhausted but cannot sleep. It’s 4:30 PM, and I should be thinking about a healthy dinner. Something chopped with radishes and tiny cubes of summer squash, a sprig…

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more moments like these

August 5, 2008

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more moments like these

"I hope we have more moments like these," he said. They’re the words I’ve instinctively come to associate with dating. That, and "we need to talk." Of the former, though, I can’t help but think of beginnings, not endings. When…

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the worry hook

August 4, 2008

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the worry hook

Phil is home. I am baking, and I do not bake. I love getting to be in control, that he lets me (has no choice really) take care of him. I love that he needs me. It’s a strange thing…

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infiltrative

August 1, 2008

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infiltrative

"Infiltrative" is the word I keep hearing around here. It comes up after the doctors hold up three fingers. 1) Atrial Fibrillation; 2) Complete heart block; 3) The energy of your scans, how faint, what low velocity they have. These…

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waiting room

August 1, 2008

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waiting room

I’m waiting. They wheeled Phil off forty-five minutes ago, a late start. “Go for a walk. Have some breakfast. Go get some coffee,” they said, “and then the doctor will come to your room to talk with you.” I’m not…

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worst case scenario

July 31, 2008

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worst case scenario

Anyone who exhales a second of "See, what you’re dealing with now is KARMA! Ha, you really are a Greek Tragedy!" needs a big ol’ hug. Not from me, but surely, they need more love in their life. The people…

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atrial fibrillation: with updates

July 30, 2008

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atrial fibrillation: with updates

It’s hardly Oz. While we cannot see behind the curtain, we can hear quite well. You look up from the paperwork when we hear, "My, what a beautiful airway you have." So much better for keeping your teeth during anesthesia.…

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shocking your heart

July 30, 2008

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shocking your heart

I remember when I was lying on this same sofa back when we had a coffee table and a dog. You were kneeling on the rug that’s now in our dining room. With tears in your eyes, you took my…

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