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mom mom momomomomom

August 21, 2015


They say that hearing your name from the mouth of someone else, personalization, has a soothing influence, ego-boosting, but I can assure you the name “Mom” said by my children every tenth of a second is bat-shit-fcuk annoying. I also despise what most of us mothers do following any complaint about our children. We feel […]

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July 29, 2015

Comments Off on distractions

It was the first night I slept alone in our new house. We moved recently. The kids are in the same school district but will attend a new elementary school. On Monday night, Phil’s parents took the kids, and after visiting Phil, I returned to an empty house, in a new neighborhood. I bolted the […]

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Inside look

July 29, 2015



We’re now in the Stroke Unit. Phil has successfully sat up in a chair, walked and negotiated some stairs. He tripped up some on the stairs but instinctively grabbed for the rail, which is what they look for–that you know how to help yourself. Today he has another procedure. They’ll be putting him under to […]

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wiggle your toes

July 28, 2015


Phil couldn’t wiggle his toes. The entire right side of his body was immobilized. He had no peripheral vision in his right eye. When the doctors lifted his arm in the air, he was unable to hold it there. He had absolutely no feelings or control, couldn’t move any part of his right side. When […]

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If you need anything

July 27, 2015


Phil is having a severe stroke. He cannot move the right side of his body at all. Not his eyelids. “If you need anything, please let me know.” I wish I was a better delegator. I wish I could tell someone. I need someone to take the kids to camp, pick them up for lunch, […]

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when hormones moan out, “ADHD and what else?”

March 9, 2015


When I worked in advertising and attended a creative briefing, I’d usually have what she’s having. That is, if, say, we were briefed on a new drug launch, we’d hear about all the symptoms and how the new drug helped the target audience, then we’d scamper off to brainstorm and search for relevant art (insert […]

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winter vagina

January 26, 2015


“Winter Blues.” That’s what people call it, when you don’t want to leave your house, and it just so happens to be winter. You hibernate and wear the same clothes on Sunday that you did on Friday, and you do so pretty matter-of-factly. The thought of showering means getting wet, which means getting naked, which […]

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his heart

November 30, 2014


On Black Friday, I sent this email to Phil’s closest people. It’s an update from the chair of the recovery room, where I sat beside Phil as he snored. Phil is out, in recovery now. There were no blood clots in the heart, so they were able to successfully cardiovert him (shock him with the […]

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