I didn’t know what to do. I am living my dream, have amazing friends who make me laugh until I snort, the kind I want to grow old with. I treasure my family. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. But…
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vacation
September 19, 2005
I used the razor, the one when you’re at someone’s beach house you’re supposed to ignore. I used it, taking care to remember its last position on the shower shelf, to remember how to return it. I shaved my legs,…
gay endings
September 15, 2005
I remember reading a break-up book for lesbians in a taxicab. It was my book, not something I found near the rubber floor matting. It was raining. I pulled my knees to my chest as we drove down fifth avenue. …
married to it
September 12, 2005
So much of my past is hiding beneath my bed in boxes of letters and photographs, but more of it is in my cupboards. I used to make espresso every morning. My coffee pot had a timer, so I’d awake…
dreams to forget
September 6, 2005
I awoke this morning on the right side of the bed feeling wrong. In my dream, you made plans with your friends to go to Pink Elephant, even though you knew I’d spent the day collecting your favorite ingredients. I’d…
wedding wisdom
August 31, 2005
When a 91-year-old gets the microphone, people listen. It means more when an elder cuts the corner of your challah. He knows things. He knows more than the bride since she was teething; he knows secrets. But when he’s standing…
mid-life crisis
August 29, 2005
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My friends and I sometimes share our number with one another. I’m not talking lbs., our Purity Test scores, or the number of things we wanted to accomplish by 30 years old. I’m talking sexual partners. Sometimes she’ll recruit an…
turning corners
August 23, 2005
There are so many moments where I wished. I wish I’d said this, or held on longer. If only. If I’d opened my mouth. If I turned around. If I stared back instead of away. So many of my wishes…









October 2, 2005
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