Stephanie Klein Greek Tragedy

I’m on the watch for it because according to the cloying commercials, depression hurts everyone.  I went for a check-up yesterday with my OBGYN.  He is such a gentle warm man.  With my feet on the floor and my bare…

Phil came home to find me upstairs, in our bed, crying.  I was wearing a robe.  My hair was a frizzy mess, piled into a clip atop my head.  "What’s the matter?""Oh, nothing.  I’m just pregnant," I sobbed.  "And nothing…

I thought something was wrong.  I didn’t think I was going into labor, but the literature said if I was contracting more than four times in an hour, I should notify my doctor.  Why does this shit always happen in…

At around six and a half months pregnant, they test for gestational diabetes by having you drink something resembling orange soda.  Then they draw blood.   As the nurse was weighing me today at my doctor’s appointment (161.5 lbs.), I mentioned…

All I want to do is sing Annie songs and play Barbie.  This means I’m going to have two boys.  Brothers.  Instead of feather boas and nail polish, there will be dump trucks and Spiderman.  Who came up with this…

"A nose," she said when describing my cervix.  "It feels like a nose right now.  Eventually it will soften and feel like a cheek."  This made me think of "The Institute," a cooking class I had with Shirley King, a…

I’m without "maternity outerwear" in "the windy city," which translates roughly to: oh so screwed.  Before leaving for Chicago, The Suitor checked the weather report for me.  He might have mentioned thirty-something-degrees come nightfall.  I don’t fit into anything.  He…

I don’t know how any alcoholic who’s trying to diet survives winter. When I first learned I was pregnant, in New York, when others drank wine, I asked the waitress for their dessert menu.  If I couldn’t drink, dammit, there…