Stephanie Klein Greek Tragedy

So I’ve had some history with mother’s day gifts. Here’s what I’ve decided, I’m all about the charms. Things that dangle, aside from shrunken breasts used to nurse rabid spawn. I love the idea of a charm bracelet or necklace,…

One of my best friends had a baby not that long ago. She’s in New York, and there’s a "sip & see" for her this Saturday. The closest I’ll get… is there in spirit.
Another of my closest friends is…

 
Kind of weird if you really stop to think about, the notion of birthdays. Celebrating the day your mother asked for more drugs. The day she was terrified of having your father in the delivery room, for fear of…

Smelly just had a baby girl and named her after a chandelier. I don’t know if she realizes it or not. I tell all expecting parents to paw their way through the Pottery Barn catalog for a good baby name.…

My pregnant friend Yasmin emailed me this morning to tell me I was in her dream:

I just woke up and had yet another bizarre dream (I’ve been having many recently).  I dreamt that you and I were on some…

As I was wiping today, I realized just how much my life has changed.  Discharge, I thought as I glanced at the toilet paper.  I once was obsessed with it.  Examining, touching, rubbing it between two fingers checking the consistency,…

In a recent email I was asked, quite nicely, to blog about ass acne.  "I warned my gfs about this one, and they didn’t believe me."  All I can say is SAY IT AIN’T SO.  Yes, when you stop breastfeeding…

I don't think I've showered in a few days.  I've been picking my scalp, then smelling my hands, then eating whatever I find under my nails.  I'm pretty nasty when it comes down to it.  I get into these grooves…