Stephanie Klein Greek Tragedy

Heading now to the reproductive endocrinologist with my mother in tow. Or rather, she’s got me by the hair and is dragging me there now. Will report the findings after my 11am appointment. I wonder if this premature menopause is…

I’ve been talking to the universe (again). Alone in my car I’ll say, “So, universe, listen up.” Then I’ll continue, aloud, for a decent stretch, the way one would shoot the shit with a sister. Though I try to get…

I was in a parking lot this morning, head between my legs. I don’t actually think this is supposed to help with fainting, but I think I saw it on the Brady Bunch, or watched my mother do it at…

I have a friend visiting, and she’s awesome, all apple-cheeked and cheery. I just sang a hymn. And guess where I’m taking her today? We’re collecting the beans after school and dashing off to Yogurt-land—today is National Frozen Yogurt Day…

I went to the gynecologist yesterday for an annual exam. I’m 36 years old. I know my period has been fucked up for over a year now, coming infrequently. I assumed it was because of the weight loss and stress…

Pregnant at least 13 weeks. The doctor tells me she doesn’t think… “Well, I suspect your sac is light.” I ask that my husband come in to see. We just want to see all these moments, every chance we can.…

QUESTION FROM A GREEK TRAGEDY READER [Let's call her Apple]: This isn’t as serious as your usual questions, but I really want an unbiased opinion, so here goes…
At my best friend’s daughter’s 1st birthday party I announced to her that…

I realize, of course, the implication of my title. So, I’ll set things right at the onset. This is not my attempt at creating a euphemism for erectile dysfunction, nor is it a comment on the vest-pocket penis. For starters,…