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mom mom momomomomom

August 21, 2015

11 Comments

They say that hearing your name from the mouth of someone else, personalization, has a soothing influence, ego-boosting, but I can assure you the name “Mom” said by my children every tenth of a second is bat-shit-fcuk annoying. I also despise what most of us mothers do following any complaint about our children. We feel […]

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masters of sex

August 2, 2015

11 Comments

An episode of Masters of Sex aired tonight about a man whose wife had an aneurysm, a stoke. People call her a vegetable, her husband calls her a corpse. He says his life is over, being her caretaker.  I have a pit in my stomach. I am afraid. I realize Phil is on blood thinners, […]

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distractions

July 29, 2015

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It was the first night I slept alone in our new house. We moved recently. The kids are in the same school district but will attend a new elementary school. On Monday night, Phil’s parents took the kids, and after visiting Phil, I returned to an empty house, in a new neighborhood. I bolted the […]

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Inside look

July 29, 2015

4 Comments

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We’re now in the Stroke Unit. Phil has successfully sat up in a chair, walked and negotiated some stairs. He tripped up some on the stairs but instinctively grabbed for the rail, which is what they look for–that you know how to help yourself. Today he has another procedure. They’ll be putting him under to […]

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wiggle your toes

July 28, 2015

27 Comments

Phil couldn’t wiggle his toes. The entire right side of his body was immobilized. He had no peripheral vision in his right eye. When the doctors lifted his arm in the air, he was unable to hold it there. He had absolutely no feelings or control, couldn’t move any part of his right side. When […]

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If you need anything

July 27, 2015

33 Comments

Phil is having a severe stroke. He cannot move the right side of his body at all. Not his eyelids. “If you need anything, please let me know.” I wish I was a better delegator. I wish I could tell someone. I need someone to take the kids to camp, pick them up for lunch, […]

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guest dressing, a summer wedding

July 21, 2015

1 Comment

Oh, the hell. I know people read books and pin quotes of inspiration about loving ourselves, as we are, because let’s face it, hating ourselves hasn’t served us well all these years. So, fine. I love myself and my sexy curves, but I hate shopping for clothes who haven’t gotten the memo.

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kitnappers

July 15, 2015

4 Comments

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 A mama cat was on our back deck this morning, with five kittens orbiting her like an atom. I called Abigail, so she could join me in the kitchen to watch. She wants to be a singing veterinarian when she grows up. We pressed ourselves to the sliding glass doors, as the mama cat turned […]

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