Phil is going on a trip to New York this month, and in preparation, he was rifling through his closet, hoping to cull “New York outfits”—clothes he can wear that’ll at least give the impression that he doesn’t actually spend…
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love the ugly woman in your life
January 12, 2011
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Ugly isn’t the kindliest of words, but out of the looks grab-bag, it’s what I drew that morning. I’m sick, have been since New Year’s Eve, sinus infection, maybe. Went to the doctor, taking antibiotics, still can’t breathe. Everything on…
pig cheeks, a meal
January 11, 2011
Pork Jowels with Polenta at Parkside
At first smell: it’s as if apple pie had a one night stand with Wilbur
At first bite: Wilbur has been one lazy porker, sunning and snacking on Fern’s corn
The pork is soft,…
hiding the goods before things go bad
January 9, 2011
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I’m no expert when it comes to cocktails. This girl likes her wine (especially a Pinot Noir from Oregon’s Willamette Valley, where the climate is similar to Burgundy: Yum!). But I can say that freshly squeezed juices make just…
your weight issues are getting old
January 4, 2011
From a no-bullshit reader named Maggie: The weight stuff is getting old. You wrote a book about your weight issues and it seemed at one point you were happy with yourself. Shit or get off the pot with this and…
a resolution of choice
January 2, 2011
I didn’t like that I was the fattest one in the room
That I kept pulling on my clothes hoping they’d hide a bulge
I felt self-conscious when I had to get up and walk away, thinking of what my…
hair of the dog potluck brunch: what would you bring?
December 28, 2010
Potluck is just another way of saying “Lazy Hostess,” and I’m fine with that. Actually, that’s not entirely true when you consider the dishes to be done, recovery drink recipes to be consulted, cleaning your home, attempting some form of…










January 18, 2011
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