Vietnamese Cinnamon, a ladel, chili bowls with handles for All You Can Handle Chili, and a book of chili potions.

A Man Gift of Chili without the Chili. Would’ve included dried Ancho if I had more time.

Madeline Minds Her Manners & Madeleine cookies. We’ll be getting our bake on soon.

I can’t believe I haven’t updated this online journal with all my STUFF. Because as much as I try to shop for others, who can ignore a “FREE Overnight Shipping” promise from MAC Cosmetics? “Not I,” said the fox.

I’ve been playing with new colors, creating my own portable palettes, to slip into a slim makeup envelope, for a clutch, or for a car with a clutch. What can I say? I almost always apply all my makeup in the car, at red lights. Yes, I’m the one in front of you with her visor down, plucking things with tweezers. “Things,” I believe, is as close a word you’d want for a description.

The photos above are a little wonky thanks to my computer’s distorted camera. I lean in to get a close shot of the color, and I look like a fetal alcohol syndrome kid. I have other lid looks I’ll post at a normal hour. Sorry I’ve fallen off the face of this Internet (email, blog, twitter, Instant Messaging, facebook stalking), but I’ve been dealing. Dealing is one of those words like “things,” a wrap-up of… I don’t even know what to call it. There are so many things up in the air right now, things I can’t blog about yet. So when all else fails, there is makeup. And movies of me applying said makeup, then, as I’m talking I begin to cry. Mess, I tell you. But, I do, really do, love the holidays, so I’m not letting anything bring me down. Will post more, promise! I’ve been too busy shopping and wrapping and thinking of thoughtful creative gift ideas. I’ll share some of those, too. Because while I might just be a mess of a mess, I’m at least generous. Believe me, there’s enough to go around for everyone.

And, yes! MAC does offer Free Overnight Shipping today!

I‘m feeling anti-social lately, and I think it might have to do with holiday “nesting.” While there’s no baby on the way (I’m eating as if there were), I still feel a strong pull to home, to snuggle with my sugarplums, making snowflakes and melting our own chocolate for cocoa. Usually, I’d take a bottle of wine with friends over glitter and craft glue—though ideally, who am I kidding, they’d be two in the same. But, here I am searching for “experience gifts for kids” instead of pulling clothes for a night out.

Tonight I’ve RSVP’d “yes,” to a “New to Boca” dinner, but I feel like staying home instead. Or, like stealing away to the movies. I think socializing, especially when jeans are involved, can take too much effort. Putting on makeup, particularly now, feels like a chore. I’m almost always happy that I go, and I’ve grown quite fond of some of the women individually, so I’m not sure what my problem is.

Maybe it’s this particular group of women. I never feel like I truly connect on these girl nights, probably because there are too many of us, too many different conversations at the table, dipping in and out. Yet the other night, with a different set of six women in pajamas, we had the best chemistry, each of us confiding and growing closer. I guess the difference is that these “New to Boca” nights feel like gloss. There’s no real texture, and we’re in a setting that doesn’t cultivate intimacy. I’m learning that I value intimacy and wisdom over “fun.” And I’m a fun fcuking person. Though, I imagine everyone thinks they’re fun. Maybe I’m no fun at all. I really don’t give five shits.

Pirate’s Cove, Patch Reef Park, Boca Raton, FL

What I do care about, though, are experiences, making new memories. And you don’t go about making new memories by staying home on the computer. You say yes, even if you’re tired and don’t feel like getting dressed. You say yes because anything can happen. It’s why this holiday season, most of all, I want to give our children gifts of experience, for them to unwrap a box full of pirate costumes, with a wooden plank inviting them to a special Family Pirate Picnic at Pirate’s Cove Park (just a public park near our home with a pirate ship playground). It costs nothing but it means everything. I’m on the hunt for more treasures, for under the tree and otherwise.

This list is an extension of an earlier post, where I promised to post such a list. So, here it is, my TOTALLY WORTH IT LIST (aka a list of things I’m glad I bought before marriage and babies, when in some cases spending this much would be out of the question… or at the very least a guilt-ridden hide-the-bags fest).

Crate & Barrel Steamer Bar

KitchenAid Mixer
My Steamer Bar
Schweitzer Linens
Every last Hermes Scarf
My cropped white Hudson Jeans
My AG Jeans in “The Fringe” style
My elliptical machine
West Elm Bookshelf
Nikon Lenses
Wusthof Knives
All-Clad Stainless
Really good blowdryer
Fleur de the Rose Bulgare perfume by Creed
Burberry Poncho
An assortment of Purple Label cableknit cashmeres
Celine Black Bag
Intermix black trench coat
Anya Hindmarch Pony Bag
Takashamaya Robe
Black Catherine Malandrino dress
My really good laptop bag that doubles as a… really good bag, period.
RLX Polo sport jacket that makes me feel all mission possible
TJMaxx Special: Ralph Lauren heavy crystal plaid tumblers & barware

Look around your life. What do you STILL get a thrill from having? Orgasms, for the most part, are free, so they don’t count.

Recent purchases I can’t imagine won’t make the list years from now:

Hands down, my holy-shite this is awesome VITAMIX (love love love for velvet soup textures, phenomenal cocktails with that same texture as frozen margarita machines, and smoothies, ice cream, chopped onions!)
Diamond Earrings
The softest lambskin black bag ever
A Gorban painting
My Breville Oven (3 people have slept at my house, left, and ran out to buy one)
And a shitpile of cookbooks
Really good baking pans (Chicago Metallic)
Olio Santo (my favorite olive oil)
Silouette Machine
Much of my MJ Trimming Ribbon collection

NOT WORTH IT
Creams. Any of them. I’d like to be convinced otherwise
La Perla
Leather pants from Scoop
Burberry Coat
The Blahniks, any of them
Any knockoff ever
Wow, not a single pair of shoes, not even my favs

I think it’s surprising what we think will bring us happiness and what actually does. People say that objects don’t give us happiness that lasts, and I’d agree, for the most part. But I will say that some things, actual things, do make us smile daily, leave us feeling confident, pretty, taken care of. And if you can find those things, if they still make you feel, years later, they’re worth keeping. It’s how I feel, most, about my cookbooks and cooking equipment. They are my favorite things.

Love to love these plates for summer seafood entertaining + the night of 7 fishes

Nope. Not a post about the raunchy sex I’m not having. Lust now, and let’s face it always has, come in the form of purchases. All of these loves pass my Jealousy Test.

Yes, this is a dog collar. Here’s my question: would a teacup yorkie collar fit my wrist? Love.

Oh, Juliska, you saucy minx. This ladylike dinnerware makes me think of manicured gardens, white linen, and entree salads of avocado, grapefruit, and pistachio nuts paired with Grüner Veltliner. Not that I’m specific in my obsessions or anything.

Now that I’m shifting gears to Palm Beach County it’s about time I full-on embrace my inner Golden Girl. I’d be the one drinking just before noon. Yes, there’s a tray for that.

So, body parts crossed, we might have found a place to live in Florida. Woodfield Country Club. I’m sure by the time we unpack it will be time to move. As relieved as I am to be done with the house hunt, much more of a relief is the fact that I’ve just now seen spot, and man did she run. TMI ALERT: I am menstruating for the first time since JANUARY. And no, I do not get shots or wear ass patches; I’m not on birth control because I like anal sex. So, there you have it. Bleed back on.

This has happened to me before when losing weight. On that front, I feel myself losing interest, taking things for granted. I need to shift the focus back to my health, about feeling light and strong. Getting my vitamin D levels up, eating my Chia seeds, filling up on yogurt and protein. I’m down 24.6 lbs., still. I don’t care if I lose any more. What I really want to do is marathon my way through The Biggest Loser, start with Season 1 (it always motivates me to drink more water and to move more).

I feel like my dream vision board from my new year’s resolution is coming true, that there’s change on the horizon. Travel, more family, possibilities. I still want to feel giddiness, lean into wisdom, and for some odd reason that’s been biting at me all year, I have a strange obsession with horses. And that’s one to grow on.