I just ate breakfast soup, after eating breakfast. Today’s breakfast was pecked in serving order—between feeding the beans, I dug into small bites of Challah French toast Pudding, just a lick of syrup, packed lunches, just a handful of Pirate…
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the bum-wrap of “nice”
March 8, 2012
[THE BACHELOR: SPOILER ALERT] Do not scroll. Do not look at the photos. Do not have happen to you what happened to me. I can be a dumbass. Sorry for not mentioning this alert sooner!
It was an affront. I’d…
this is not gonna work, little chef!
March 1, 2012
Tonight is fondue night. I’d planned it for yesterday, but then I was too tired to do anything I’d said I’d do, which lead to a drive-up window, which lead to my eating everything they didn’t, which lead to the…
wassail, wassail
December 2, 2011
Wassail doesn’t make me think of apples or the brown pulpy foam, or the potpourri you end up ingesting with the quickest of hot pecks. It makes me think of WASPs, sailing. And of ferrets. Because Wassail might as well…
holiday preamble
November 8, 2011
I’m at the library with books stacked to my chin; it’s the Holiday Preamble, a preface to the pudge, a prologue to the pounds. Planning for the holiday season makes me want to smack my mama and roll her in…
italian plum bars
September 20, 2011
I‘ve learned that there are new neighbors in our development. Hence, the flour and sugar. I happened to have twenty-four Italian prune plums on hand, because, well, that’s just the kind of psycho kitchen I keep. The violet gems aren’t…
blondes have more fun
August 7, 2011
Blondies with Walnuts & Semi-Sweet Chips
May I just go on record as saying that I truly began to lose weight when Phil bought me a deep freezer for Mother’s Day last year? This way, I can bake love into…
raising foodie kids
August 2, 2011
I am the opposite of sly.
Photo by Food Porn Daily
Dinner at my new Boca Casa tonight will consist of burrata balls, arugula, grape tomatoes, a ribbon of pesto, a whirl of Olio Santo and a smear of balsamic…










April 24, 2012
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