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May 6, 2015


Magic Camp at Bryn Mawr College

I‘m a huge believer in separation between church and state. That is, I believe the pious love of camp shouldn’t touch your life at the stately institution of school. Camp friends should be separate from your school friends. A random handful of kids who happen to attend your school, sure, it’s inevitable I guess. Parents […]

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movies to see in 2015

April 27, 2015


2015 Best Films

While, yes, without apology, I’m undeniably waiting for the return of The Bachelorette on May 18, I’m also currently enjoying a new, sure to be favorite, show titled, “HAPPYish” on Showtime. Despite its mixed reviews, I feel as if this balls-out mama (Katherine Hahn) is my outspoken soul sister. We’ll see. Movies I’m looking forward […]

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showing up without panties

April 17, 2015


A Five Star Life

When my sister Lea was four-years-old she attended a wedding of our cousin and flashed the priest her vagina. Not once. It was vagina party time. Flowery dress, white¬†eyelet socks, shiny black dress shoes, hair in ribbons, and there it was, on full display, as my terribly bored sister played with the hem of her […]

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latest obsessions

March 16, 2015


Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt #streamteam

¬† I’m obsessed with the show “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.” I attended the advance screening and brought Phil as my date. Phil doesn’t like anything. If he says, “It was okay,” it means he wants to spread his seed and make illegit babies with it. After watching the first two episodes of Tina Fey’s newest show, […]

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defacing time

March 12, 2015


Rodner Figueroa

I can only imagine what Rodner Figueroa called me after this photo of us was taken. “A hideous bag,” he might have said, “and the clutch is awful, too.” He would’ve been right about the clutch. It’s time to deface this photo in light of his recent derogatory remarks about Michelle Obama. Appropriately, Univision fired […]

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watercolor marriage support

February 17, 2015



When I showed Phil my latest watercolor painting, finally complete, his response came first from his raised eyebrows, and then from his sour mouth. “Well, I wouldn’t spend your days doing it is all I’m saying.” The subtext for those playing along at home reads: don’t quit your day job, not that you have one. […]

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you’ve got to move it, move it

December 18, 2014


King Julien 003 S1E2

Almost all of my holiday shopping has happened online. That is, it would’ve happened online, if most everything weren’t out of stock. Here’s a thing of beauty, though, say it with me: Price Match Guarantee. I print like there’s no such thing as ink, here at home. I comparison shop online, find the very cheapest […]

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daring not to feel

November 10, 2014


I dare you not to feel. Not to cry. Not to love this.

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