This was the subject line in my inbox: 7 Things Every New Yorker Has in Her Closet. Before opening it, I’m guessing their list includes a crossbody bag, moto jacket, and trench coat. Some form of jeans. Rather than open the email, I figured I’d play along first. I encourage you to do the same. Make your list of “7 things I love in my closet right now.” Here’s mine:

MY WARDROBE COLOR PALETTE

When I examine my closet with a squinty eye, the colors I see most are blues and whites. Navy is my signature color. When given the option of black or navy, I always choose navy. My winter coats, all navy. I adore navy and black. Navy and burgundy, navy and camel. Navy and green. You get the idea. Black and creams are my neutrals.

1. IT’S RAINING. IT’S POURING. THIS GIRL AIN’T BORING.

Fun rain boots. Boots that you love so much, you can’t wait for it to rain. These also come in handy at a graveside funeral. No one ever thinks of this. But my sick mind? You can count on it. I have the ones with ribbons up the back, and I change the ribbons based on the time of year! Plaid in winter, Tiffany Blue, Lime Green in the Spring. Love to love them.

2. BIG BOTTOMED GIRLS

Flare jeans. I can’t handle another pair of skinny jeans, call them cigarette, stiletto, jeggings. There’s a place for them, but there’s also a place for flare with flair. I love these AE jeans for under $20. I own them and believe they run true to size, with a decent amount of stretch.

3. LEATHER WEATHER

When in doubt, leather leggings. With chambray, with a slouchy sweater, with converse, booties, over the knee boots. They even work with gauzy ethereal tops, adding a rougher edge to the ultra fem.

4. SWITZERLAND

Snakeskin and leopard prints are neutrals. Zebra print, kinda. Dalmatian spots, cruel.

5. PAINT THE TOWN

I’m an artist. But I’m not a hemp-wearing, overalls artist. I’m so into splatter paint. Total aside, but I’m in love with splatter paint wrapping paper, too. J.Crew is presently selling one-of-a-kind painted items, and I’m all up in that business.

6. CHAMBRAY ME LIKE THAT
It took me a while to embrace the chambray shirt. I love it with tulle skirts, with leather leggings, with white jeans, with black floor length skirts. I love it as a “low” paired with a “high” like silk shantung.

7. STARS & STRIPES AND ALL THINGS NICE
I’m a lover of stars. I wear star printed pajamas, star sweaters, star tops. Maybe it’s because they’re patriotic, or maybe they boost my self-esteem and remind me that I’m a superstar, or maybe they’re a reminder that we’re all a part of something bigger; a universe exists outside our little dramas. Or maybe they remind me of the gold-foil stars at the top of my graded elementary papers. That elementary joy-bringer. I’m mad about stars. And as I mentioned earlier, stripes.

I’ve tried to create a closet capsule, to Marie Kondo the shit out of my life. I swear I have. And here’s what I’ve learned from all the trying and pruning and whittling down:

1. I love Zara shoes.
2. J. Crew basics last.
3. Accessories make the outfit (almost always).
4. Accessories don’t matter if you’re going monochromatic. Head to toe in one color always makes you look styled.
5. I love stripes. Almost as much, I love polka-dots and plaid.
6. I love cozy sweaters, but I rarely wear them because they’re bulky and do my figure no favors, and when I’m home, I eat things. And these things make me nervous about spills and drippings and stains on the cozy luxuries. So I end up wearing a sweatshirt. I own one and only one sweatshirt.
7. There is a method to my color-lover madness. It turns out that my closet has a color palette. Inevitably, I’m always drawn to the same colors whenever I’m in a store. I can’t help it. When I try to break out, trying new colors like “rust” I never feel right wearing them. They sit in my closet, abandoned. I recently purchased, for example, a pair of red pants. I was going to wear them with, you guessed it, chambray or a navy silk top. Or even, gasp, magenta. But they just feel so, so wrong. Now, maybe in jeans instead of pants, I’ll gravitate toward them more often. I’m not giving up on the bold red bottom.

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