I’ll never get it out, all the feelings I have.
I’ll never get them to you in a way you understand
I’ll never know how to say it in a way that won’t make you grieve
Because the second that they come out, these words that I want to say,
The second that they make it to you, they’ll tangle, and you’ll leave.
And I can’t win, and I can’t take it,
all this hiding and pretending, with a cover on my heart
Because you want it light and fun from the first time
And I want it deep and thrown together in a mess
Because then it’s real, everything out, painted on each other.
No room for excuses or reasons or well thought out decisions, no room for what’s right, what’s expected or what’s should, only space for what’s real, what’s there when we stop thinking, the core of it, what we really want. And no matter how I put it, no matter what size fits that day, it’s always gonna come back to being with you.
I hate pretending, acting like it doesn’t bother me, choking it down, making you believe I care less than I do. I hate the work I have to throw in front of how I really feel.
Can’t you just take me without all the chase and work?
Can’t you take my real work–
The way I need to discuss it all, can’t you take the real work, the part when I want to talk about nothing, and everything, and to sound like a crazy jealous person, can’t you work on that with me, out in the open? Can’t we just stay in bed and just be us?
Can’t you sing to me, and make it all okay,
Can’t you just get it without a letter
Can’t you just show up
Can’t you just escape with me
And let it just be us
Just between us, no mouths talking,
Can’t we just be what we are to each other,