I’d like to say that I’ve been movin’ and shakin,’ but please. There’s been moving, obviously. And I’ve been shaking over my health situation. This isn’t news. I haven’t been able to shake the anxiety I have with regard to my health. Phil is extremely stressed over money, to the point where I’m afraid to go grocery shopping. So, to hear from doctors that they don’t take insurance, that their initial fee is $650 or $450, with $250 followup visits, I get stressed and want to cry, feeling like a monetary burden. Phil tells me not to be ridiculous, that it’s my health, “You do what you have to do.” Then, when I ask what he’d do, he says, “Just enough with the snake and oil. The acupuncturists, herbs. Or this other doctor who wants 2k for a single visit with her. Just stop with the snake and oil.” For the record, I’ll spend $2700 on a purse, just not my puss.
I have much more to say, but Abigail is standing beside me begging me to take her outside to plant our new hydrangea bush, so now, I must get on my knees to Plant & Pray (a step up from the Pull & Pray).
As another tid-bit, I perhaps sound more dire than I do in person. The other night, I had a magical dinner date with Dulce, where she told me I seemed great, and not at all as maudlin as I seemed online. I’d like to believe she’s right, but I’m not sure. I think I make light of things in person because I can’t control them. But really, I’m very worried and have moments, many of them, where it takes a lot of effort to leave the house or to shower. Though, that might not be new.
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