homemaker lust

Love to love these plates for summer seafood entertaining + the night of 7 fishes.

Nope. Not a post about the raunchy sex I’m not having. Lust now, and let’s face it always has, come in the form of purchases. All of these loves pass my Jealousy Test.

Vonderbitch
Yes, this is a dog collar. Here’s my question: would a teacup yorkie collar fit my wrist? Love.

juliska bamboo
Oh, Juliska, you saucy minx. This ladylike dinnerware makes me think of manicured gardens, white linen, and entree salads of avocado, grapefruit, and pistachio nuts paired with Grüner Veltliner. Not that I’m specific in my obsessions or anything.

lucite tray

Now that I’m shifting gears to Palm Beach County it’s about time I full-on embrace my inner Golden Girl. I’d be the one drinking just before noon. Yes, there’s a tray for that.

So, body parts crossed, we might have found a place to live in Florida. Woodfield Country Club. I’m sure by the time we unpack it will be time to move. As relieved as I am to be done with the house hunt, much more of a relief is the fact that I’ve just now seen spot, and man did she run. TMI ALERT: I am menstruating for the first time since JANUARY. And no, I do not get shots or wear ass patches; I’m not on birth control because I like anal sex. So, there you have it. Bleed back on.

This has happened to me before when losing weight. On that front, I feel myself losing interest, taking things for granted. I need to shift the focus back to my health, about feeling light and strong. Getting my vitamin D levels up, eating my Chia seeds, filling up on yogurt and protein. I’m down 24.6 lbs., still. I don’t care if I lose any more. What I really want to do is marathon my way through The Biggest Loser, start with Season 1 (it always motivates me to drink more water and to move more).

I feel like my dream vision board from my new year’s resolution is coming true, that there’s change on the horizon. Travel, more family, possibilities. I still want to feel giddiness, lean into wisdom, and for some odd reason that’s been biting at me all year, I have a strange obsession with horses. And that’s one to grow on.

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COMMENTS:

  1. People gave me grief about asking about your finances and here you say you love anal sex. Ugh..my bagel is about to come back up.

      1. Holy hell do I sometimes wish I knew you in real life, especially in situations like these. Anon1, you are witnessing the correct response to a persistent troll.

        Good luck in FL! Those dishes are awesome.

        1. I agree 100%–I laughed at your response Stephanie, it was perfect.

  2. Maybe Anon1 should stop reading your blog because they clearly dont get you.

  3. My cousin lives there. Beautiful neighborhood but more importantly the Boca Mall is literally a stones throw…Bloomies, Macys, Nordstrom, Saks, Neimans etc. What could be bad!

  4. you had me at anal sex.

    the plates drew me in but the anal makes me stay.

    more anal talk, less beer please.

  5. I, for one, am happy that you’ll be living in South Florida. Can’t wait to hear your take on things. I just hope that you point out the positives instead of focusing on all the South Florida negatives, like so many other people do.

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