QUESTION FROM A GREEK TRAGEDY READER: I have been reading your blog for four years, bought both books and STILL can’t figure out how to “get over the bastard.” We were married for 13 years, and I left him last October for a lot of reasons, the biggest one being that he was a cheating fcuk. Pretty sure he cheated all through the marriage. We struggled for years to have babies and finally had our Bella three years ago in April. When she was a year and a half, I left him for the first time. We continued to see each other, and I ended up getting prego again. Now, we have another beautiful daughter, Lee. After I left him, he took up with an ex who lives in Ohio. He moved there to be with her and is over 600 miles away from us. I should hate him on so many levels, but my insecurities are keeping me holding out for him to come back. I was/am a chubby kid/grown up. I relate to all of your crazy dating stories, and I just want to find someone who loves me for me, but I’m having a hard time meeting anyone worth more than a night out. I just feel like it’s never going to happen for us (my daughters and me). Any suggestions?
“I just feel like it’s never going to happen for us.” It already has happened for you. You have two beautiful healthy daughters who live with you. You are a family. Stop waiting for someone to find you. Make you.
The “cheating fcuk” belongs in your past. And lady, you already know this. Now, you need to live this. Not just for you but for your sweet girls.
So, where do you start? You set goals. Wee ones. And you meet them. That’s how you build integrity, how you grow “worth” and self-esteem. It’s not about mantras or music. It’s about changing your behaviors one goal at a time. If you really want to find someone who loves you for you, you need to first learn how to meet your own needs.
GOT QUESTIONS? NEED ADVICE?
If you have questions or need advice on anything from where to eat to how to get over the bastard, just email your question to my advice email address. Am a doctor? I don’t even play one on TV, but people keep asking, so I might as well air it and share it.