if jokes about swinging scrotums make you laugh

In ALL, INTROSPECTION, WRITING EXERCISES by Stephanie Klein18 Comments

moma stephanie klein 92web

If you think jokes about balls and swinging scrotums are inherently funny, your dominant archetype element is fire–at least according to my younger sister Lea. A licensed massage therapist, Lea (and my sweet baby Linus) are moving from Montana to Florida, so Lea can pursue her Master’s in acupuncture and Chinese herbs and medicine. For four years she’ll be studying five elements acupuncture: wood, fire, earth, metal, & water (no, air ain’t part of the deal–these aren’t horoscopes). This basically means she says shit like, "Your house has too much wind Stephanie. Who can sit under a ceiling fan like that? Seriously, inner wind makes you twitch. You know what’s good for that? Celery root. Now get on that puree of yours, Neph."

Woo-woo crazy aside, I definitely believe in the power of Eastern medicine, especially the type Lea is studying which encourages students to focus on developing and trusting their intuition. As a writer, I’m fascinated by personality types and archetypes, holding them up against one another, then attaching that archetype to a character, pushing it further, adding unique details to make the character authentic, as if it’s someone you know. Someone who pops her gum, only drinks coffee at night, won’t poop in a public bathroom, and most important is full of contradictions.

I by no means have studied the five elements, but had I, I’d know which element preferred potty humor to slapstick humor. We’re a mix of each element, mind you, but we obviously have more dominant qualities, and according to the one site I found (where I took the quiz), it’s interesting to note which are supporting elements (next to each other) versus contrasting elements within us. Wood, Fire, Earth are complementary elements, whereas Fire and Water are contrasting as are Wood and Metal. "Adjacent elements with high scores reflect a strong supporting relationship, while opposite elements with high scores reflect a strong conflicting relationship. In this context, conflict is not necessarily good or bad- it represents the potential for movement and change as well as instability." Take the quiz. Do you agree with your findings?

Not at all surprising, Phil and I are opposites.

STEPHANIE’S FIVE ELEMENTS (FIRE crotch)

WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 7
FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 17
EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 12
METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 4
WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 3

PHIL’S FIVE ELEMENTS: (WATER retention)

WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 9
FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 7
EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 7
METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 7
WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 12

3 YEARS AGO: Found Letter
5 YEARS AGO: How the West Was Won

Comments

  1. I took the quiz and am Fire also..

    Here are my results

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 7
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 13
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 9
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 3
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 8

  2. I do a lot of these quizzes out of boredom and end up thinking they were dumb, but I liked this one. I liked how you could see the spectrum of traits as you moved from one section to the next, it wasn’t overly simplified.
    I wonder if the physical/health features they link to personality are true — mine matched up pretty well, but I wonder how they are related?
    And oh my god what on earth is that picture?! :p

  3. Fire/Earth girl over here and it makes total sense…not sure why i got such high numbers on the other ones and how that relates to the Fire/Earth thingy.

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 13
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 16
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 15
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 13
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 12

    1. Author

      I think it shows that you’re very agreeable. You know, as in, “Sure, why not, that’s me,” instead of, “I guess I might feel that way occasionally, but that’s not really me.” With these personality quizzes there’s also the element of who you believe you are versus how others perceive you. I’d be interested to fill out the same quiz, answering how I view Phil (and other people close to me), and how they would in turn complete the quiz as they see me. It’s difficult because many of us have these full interior lives that we haven’t necessarily expressed. At least then we’d know either what’s not coming across about our personality OR how we might be kidding ourselves about who we really are most of the time.

      1. that sounds like a good plan, i was thinking that same thing while taking the quiz!

  4. I love these things:
    me…
    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 7
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 17
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 12
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 4
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 3

  5. Well, I have a really dominant “earth” element. So I guess I’m not that balanced. (HAH ! I’m unbalanced !)

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 9
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 5
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 17
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 8
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 3

    I thought this was an interesting quiz, and I was surprised at how easy it was for me to pick the descriptions that I could relate to. It was very black and white for me, I went right down each list and knew immediately whether each one applied. No gray areas. Which almost tells me more about myself then the results themselves……

  6. WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 5
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 5
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 5
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 5
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 6

    Hmmm, I wonder what it means if you have almost exactly the same number for every element? Interestingly, I’m an Aries and supposed to be all fiery.

    I often wonder if Fire is my true self but I am held back by fear or something….

    1. Author

      Phil is an Aries, full on, but that doesn’t make his dominant element fire. He’s water, just like you (though with you, it’s marginal). I’m wondering if when you answer the questions you say, “sure, that’s mostly true” and “no way, that’s so not me” if you get different answers.

  7. This certainly was interesting and very true for me! I have a dominant fire element which is funny because I am a Leo…a fire sign. I laughed when I read the symptoms for the Fire because I have all of them! lol I also scored high on water and earth. Not sure what that means….Could I have more opposites! lol

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 2
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 10
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 7
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 2
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 9

  8. I am earth, with no other real standouts. I have to say, the earth description fits. Not sure what it means that I don’t seem to have a supporting or conflicting relationship with the other archetypes.

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 7
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 8
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 16
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 5
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 8

  9. Wow! I found the results to be pretty accurate. The “Typical Problems” associated with each archetype were right on for me. I love these kinds of quizzes because they offer ideas that help me to better understand myself. Much better than the “What’s your porn name?” quiz!!

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 5
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 14
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 13
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 7
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 5

  10. Well. I’m apparently a study in opposites. Fire/Water. Wood/Metal. With the peacemaker, Earth, in-between. If you’re into horoscopes I’m a Taurus sun sign, Leo moon sign. What does it mean?! No wonder I’m all over the place.

    WOOD ARCHETYPE: The Pioneer………………………… 9
    FIRE ARCHETYPE: The Wizard……………………………… 13
    EARTH ARCHETYPE: The Peacemaker……………………. 8
    METAL ARCHETYPE: The Alchemist………………………… 9
    WATER ARCHETYPE: The Philosopher……………………. 13

Leave a Comment