What if‘s get us in trouble. It doesn’t matter how noble our intentions, how playful we are, at the end of it all, "what if" is just another way of saying, "Maybe I chose wrong." Or, "Maybe you chose wrong." Either way, someone is wondering "what if?" What if we’d never met, or never agreed to be a we. What if she and I had never broken up, what if he and I never had that fight? We all know, though, at the end of the day, we did have that fight, we did say those things that lead to our saying we didn’t mean those things, which lead to a new, awkward place that neither of us was willing to really sidestep. So we just left it at that.
But what if "what if" isn’t just a lazy sad excuse to excuse us from our now? What if "what if" is a recognition of what we actually did wrong, of what we wish we hadn’t done or said? What if "what if" is the ultimate apology, and it’s our way of saying, "I did choose wrong."
We’re quick to say "everything happens for a reason," quick to want to snatch rose-colored glasses off our friends who remember the past so fondly, who talk in "what if’s" and beg for a bitch-slapping. But what if we broke things off because of fear? What if our questioning "what if" is the "happens for a reason?" What if simply the act of questioning what would have happened if you hadn’t chosen the way you did is the "meant to be" in the equation. What if we were meant to question our past WRONG decisions? What if we were foolish in the past, if those glasses aren’t tinted, what if we were really meant to be with our first love? What if we let it all slip away, believing the first couldn’t ever be the one, but now we know better and are stuck on a plane of regret, wishing we could go back to that moment where it’s our choice to choose, and we choose differently? What if we have the chance to right our wrongs? Think we’ll end up in a sliding doors film, with the same destination, just different routes? Or do those summer decisions made once upon a time ago actually matter?
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