Holiday shopping, I came across quite a bit of ass bling on aisle nine. Boy shorts with bedazzled sayings. LOVE, KISS ME, and a personal favorite: SPOILED. I’m thinking the creators of these gems ought to have thought a bit harder on this, perhaps used BRAT instead. SPOILED, in this context just seems downright unsanitary. Because the fact is, milk spoils, chopped meat spoils. Aspirin expires. Your ass shouldn’t.