choosing a ring setting

In ALL, PREENING by Stephanie Klein54 Comments

Skleinringdetail Pictured left, my current rings, click the image to view larger

It has happened twice. The two tapered baguettes of my engagement ring have fallen out, lost forever. Even with replacements and checking the setting, tightening anything loose, I lost another one. Rather than replacing continually, which wouldn’t exactly be cost efficient, I need to select a new ring setting. I hadn’t wanted to, but now it’s time. And if I’m changing it, I’m changing it. It’s not an upgrade (nor will I ever want one) but an update.

Oh, the possibilities. Obviously, I’m keeping my round center stone, which is very special to me, and I’m going from there. But here’s what I’m considering, culled from photos I’ve found on the internet and sent to the jeweler. I’ve even found a photo of someone wearing a similar ring but with, obviously, a different center stone. I’m less concerned about what the engagement ring will look like paired with my wedding band, and more focused on selecting something I adore.

I’m finding that I prefer a delicate look, and believe it or not, the rings shown here, aside from a large center stone, are all very delicate on the hand. I don’t want it too thin, or I risk bending the band on a bang with micro pave diamonds flitting about. The jeweler recommended using larger diamonds or simply making the band thicker, but not necessarily wider. I’ll have to wait and see with that, as it might kill the whole look.


These photos might look over the top, but it actually looks quite simple on the hand, as the band is thin, and you only see the pave diamonds from the side. A silver demo of the ring is being sent to me next week!


  1. No lie, had a dream last night that one of the diamonds fell out of my wedding band. Woke up totally freaked. I would be devastated if I did loose one for real. And I have a feeling the hubby wouldn't be too thrilled either.

    Happy ring hunting.

  2. if it's possible for something to be a little bit gaudy then i would call this a little bit gaudy. but it's your ring. and one that you likely wear every day. so it really only matters if you love it.

  3. I am never reading this blog again.
    I am never reading this blog again.
    I am never reading this blog again.

    Looks quite simple on the hand? Give me a break.

  4. I think they're beautiful. A hefty round stone needs a little embellishment, I think. Otherwise it looks overly top-heavy. A friend of mine has a 3 carat round solitare and she always wishes she could trade in the setting because it sits so high up off her finger. Her fiance took her ring shopping and then switched out the smaller round stone she picked for a much larger one, but kept the solitare setting. The ring is so top-heavy it barely sits upright on her finger and she would never actually tell him so.

  5. Ooooohhhh, me loves a long time…

    I want to "do a wedding" just so I can pick out a fab art deco ring and do the first dance ditty to either “Cherish” by The Association or John Lennon’s “Oh My Love”.

    But then you gots to be married.

  6. can you post a picture of your current ring? i like simple simple, and micro pave can set of a large stone nicely.

    also, what about a vintage setting?

  7. How many carats is the diamond? I think it needs to be a larger diamond with this setting.

  8. My engagement ring is a nice round solitaire in a gold setting. I would LOVE to have a platinum setting, with little stones on the band. The problem is then I would have to change my wedding ring, too, which is a plain gold band. I broached the subject once with my husband, who was aghast that I would change the wedding band. (We had already upgraded the engagement ring, so that wasn't a problem.)

  9. I've seen your ring in real life. It's beautiful!

    Mine now is my mother's because she upgraded so I got her 1-1/2 carat so my original is on my other hand. I have always just had them set in gold. It looks so old-school these days though. You can always tell when someone was married in the early '90s most likely if their setting is in gold.

  10. My ring has a very similar setting and I would caution that it gets caught on thigs. It easily bangs against the desk, the wall, etc. I find pieces of fuzz, fur, etc in it because it can easily catch on to blankets and such. It is gorgeous but something to consider.

  11. I am assuming your jeweler is not in Austin. I have lost one of my round baguettes a couple of times and my jeweler replaces them without cost to me.

    I love the new settings!

  12. Personally, I would freak to have such a large stone so high above my finger with so thin a band, and would probably bang and snag it against every bleeping thing around. I have a platinum lucida ring from Tiffany's because the band size is more proportional to the stone, but to each their own…

  13. Oh those are so pretty! and sturdy! I definitely have stone loss paranoia so these are perfect! We got married sort of quickly 8 years ago and my (stupid) 23 year old self didn't care for the fancy jewels, it just wasn't important. I think I have just changed my mind and want to go back in time and slap myself.

  14. Absolutely gorgeous, but perhaps not practical for something you'll wear every day (if you do). It appears to sit up high…which means you'll smack it on everything. And with that "open underneath" the stone setting, you are going to get so much gunk in there you'll be taking it off every two minutes to clean it.

  15. I love the look of the super-raised settings (I think they are called Tiffany settings?) but they do always get banged around. I have a turn of the century – the last one – vintage ring and with its low setting it is SO much easier to wear than my engagement ring from the first time around. Particularly with kids.

    Just a thought.

  16. I love the pave setting for the solitaire. However, I wonder how the engagement ring will look with your band? It seems that the bigger diamonds in the band may overpower the pave setting. Kind of a mismatch.

  17. Get ready! The same crazies who were offended over the bag will be back for the ring.

    I love the look you're going for. I wanted it for myself. Alas, my guy is a straight up solitaire sort of guy. I am not complaining though. I am over the moon for this man.

  18. My Uncle is a jeweler and has always preferred white gold to platinum. As the platinum ages and is worn, it becomes harder and harder to polish, eventually just looking dark and dirty. People "think" platinum is better, but they don't seem to think of the long term. I want my ring to sparkle for YEARS, which is why I chose the white gold.

    I also have a solitaire set in a simple band. The center stone is 2.1 carats and sits up a little, but the band is similar to the one in the first picture, with the diamonds going down the sides – but there are no diamonds on the prongs. It's sort of a waste, since you don't really see them all under the stone.

    All the rings are pretty – I'm sure you'll make a great choice!

  19. i like it but i worry about the micro-pave's trendiness. it kind of seems like micro-pave is the the 2000s what "emerald cut, two baguettes" was to the 90s. i'm sure you know what i mean. this is a store in la i love. you might get some ideas here.

    good luck!

  20. >>it appears to sit up high…which means you'll smack it on everything.

    i've heard that concern before but mine is up super-high and i've never snagged it on anything…

  21. thicker bands are uncomfortable. when tacori was making my ring (not to name drop or anything, but you should check out their style if you haven't) the couldn't get the stepping of my stone right, even though i saw it in a magazine.

    the third ring they made for me the decided to make thicker. it was heavy. they also set the diamonds straight on the band. not stepped. i was so livid.

    i'm kinda sad you have to get a new setting, i love your current setting. i was beautiful despite a missing diamond.

  22. I recall you telling me the story about your center stone and I think it is a beautiful diamond. Also, it makes it doubly important that your setting keeps the stones in place! Having said that, pave settings are very hard to keep pristine and they are renowned for losing the small stones, so something to keep in mind. I LOVE the first setting, all of the detail on the underside is like having a secret. Exquisite. Perhaps something without the pave detail down the shank of the band would give the same effect.

  23. Carol needs to grow up…jeez. After I read this post, I thought poor Stephanie- another hot topic that she is going to have to defend ! uughh!

    Anyway, the settings are great. I still love your original setting. It is so classic looking. I am sure whatever you choose will be most beautiful and elegant. Good luck with the choosing.

  24. I'm going to have to go with Carol on this one and agree that this was a really narcissistic blog post. Lazy? Maybe. Selfish and indulgent? Yes.

    Why don't you donate your excess money to a charity for sick kids or heart illness research. Seems like the money you'll spend embellishing an already excessive piece of jewelry could be put to better use.

    You can donate my two cents with it…

  25. all are gorgeous! too bad you can't incorporate a rubberband into your new setting!

  26. Love, love, LOVE the first one. She's a beauty & honestly when it comes to engagement rings I don't think anything is ever too over the top.

  27. wtf…who cares…you're dwelling on this crap? has not health issues changed your perspective at all?

    you're weird

  28. I'm in love with the ring on the third ring down on the right.

    I want it…

  29. So pretty! I have a very similar ring – the setting is from 1920, is very sturdy and sits up high (I bang it around all the time, but figure that it has lasted for over 90 years already…). Have you checked vintage ring sites? I have found some beautiful rings that I am keeping in mind for later…Happy hunting!

  30. It frustrates me that my engagement ring catches on everything and most recently, I smashed my hand- by accident- and the diamonds in my wedding band left a mark on my engagement ring setting. A crease-line in fact. Ugh. But I love my ring. And I love yours…enjoy!!!

  31. The rings look absolutely beautiful, elegant, and delicate.

    (And people are so very strange–hello, Annie, Carol, "wtf". I really wonder why they derive pleasure from telling you to donate money to charity instead. Absolutely ridiculous, no question. Narcissistic? It's YOUR BLOG. You can write about whatever you like…and, in most of our blogs…I think our own lives are usually front and center. I'm annoyed on your behalf)

  32. When you have a gorgeous center stone, why would you detract from its beauty with shitty little pave diamonds? They never have the same luster and take away from the beauty of the stone, in my less than humble opinion.

    I'd go with a classic setting and let the stone speak for itself.

    HATE raised too high. "Look what I've got. It's so big!"

    Surprisingly, I don't find this post to be the least bit indulgent. When someone keeps losing stones and is paying for new ones, it makes far more sense to change the setting and be done spending money over and over for something that isn't working.

    Was it necessary to post this? I guess that's up to the reader. Since this is what's on the blogger's mind, it's what she's writing about. She's not taking food away from starving children. She's not ignoring her huband's medical needs. She's not insulting people who dare to throw a wedding at a time she deems inconvenient.

    Annie, who decides what is excessive? Y'know, eating more than what is necessary to keep you alive could be considered excessive by some. But I'll bet you've had an extra cookie on occasion. And isn't it more excessive to spend more and more money to replace stones when Stephanie can get a setting that will ensure the safety of the stones? Now, go munch on a dry saltine. Your blood sugar is low and it's making you cranky. But no liquid. That would be excessive. Your body can make enough saliva.

  33. i like it but i worry about the micro-pave's trendiness. it kind of seems like micro-pave is the the 2000s what "emerald cut, two baguettes" was to the 90s. i'm sure you know what i mean. this is a store in la i love. you might get some ideas here.

    good luck!

    you are so right! i was going to say, this is a VERY trendy ring right now. and no, people it does not look huge on the hand, plus Stephanie aren't your hands/fingers not that super dainty?
    This really is a lovely setting, but again, trendy. I would really try to get something different and unique. imo
    its like naming your daughter emma oliva chloe isabella smith. you get it.

  34. I am in the process of attempting to pick out wedding bands with my fiance! So weird that you posted this. I really want a pave wedding band similar to those shown, but…

    We are both really not pleased with the setting my engagement ring is in. We both think a redesign is in the works. I have an 1.5 carat emerald-cut diamond set in a basket which covers the sides of the diamond and makes it hard to fit a wedding band up next to it. I'm thinking something more like these settings except with no pave. The diamond set up higher with a thinner band.

    Thanks for sharing! These are gorgeous and give me hope that I will be satisfied with our decision in the end!

  35. This is very similar to my setting and I love it. It is SO delicate and beautiful.

  36. Delicate settings with the cherry on top are my fav. My ring is very similar to one of these settings…Micro pave, eternity band, delicately engraved on the sides (I think it's called carponia?), Teensy diamonds up the sides of the prongs. My center stone is a radiant, 2.25 ct…yours looks larger, but that doesn't matter…it's your most important piece of jewelry no matter if it's a tiny chip or a giant nugget. The delicate (yet STURDY) setting really lets the center stone be the star of the show! I love all of the photos, and the excitement of something old + something new!

  37. I know I've already thrown in my two cents, but I felt like I had to chime back in and stick up for those of us who have yellow gold settings. For people with certain skin tones, platinum or white gold just looks awful. It's not as obvious on the hand, but definitely in a necklace or earrings, close to the face. I have olive-toned skin and silver toned jewelry looks awful on me, so I chose a yellow gold setting and band so that it would go with all the rest of my jewelry. I know it's not what's currently featured in the Tiffany ads, but to each their own…

  38. Just because she needs/wants to change her ring setting, that somehow means she doesn't also donate to charity or that she's still not worried about health issues?? I'm sorry, but WTF do those things even have to do with one another? Do you want to only read blogs about health? Food? See photos of her kids? What WOULD make you happy to read about? Methinks, NOTHING. Annie/Carol/wtf, it sounds like you're not happy with your own ring (or lack of ring).

    I rarely bother with a "Stephanie Defense" because she does it well on her own and also has many others, but sometimes, I read responses like Annie's, wtf, and Carol and it's like the equivilent of poking my eyes out with a cocktail fork. I Just. Don't. Get. It.

    Stephanie- I liked all the rings in the picture. I'm not a simple solitaire or two baguettes girl though to begin with. Everyone's taste is so different- go with your gut. You'll pick a nice setting.

  39. Sometimes I wonder if you post this to taunt the people who will invariably scream at you for your supposed 'Let them eat Cake' mentality. Anyone remember The Great Purse debate? To buy or not to buy? The comments on that lasted for days.
    Especially on the heels of such a serious health crisis with Phil, is this merely to stir the pot?
    For some reason I usually just wear my band and leave my engagement ring at home. I notice a lot of people do that. It's just a personal style thing I think; some people are more into jewelry.
    I'm assuming if you're blogging about such a 'first world problem' then Phil is in the clear. And THAT is damned good news and well worth it.

  40. I have to agree with Annie. With all you have gone through in the past few weeks with your husband why the hell are you worrying about your ring?? Fuck the ring, embrace your husband.

    I have a beautiful engagement and wedding ring from my husband from some 16 years ago. If I had to choose again it would be a simple gold band because being married to him is enough.

    I had the same thought when I started reading your blog, that you were going to donate your diamonds to the hospital that treated either your husband or son so well.

    But not so much…

  41. I love, love, love, the top diamond rings. They are simply perfect to me and if I was buying rings I would certainly choose them. The wedding band looks beautiful on it's own for everyday and stunning with the engagement ring when you want a bit more WOW. Have fun deciding.

  42. I lost three stones when I forgot to take my ring off while playing with my frolicsome son. I was blissfully happy which came into an anticlimactic stop when I glanced at my ring. I had to choose a different setting then or risk losing all of the small diamonds encrusted on my wedding ring. I chose a james allen Platinum .50 Carat ROund Brilliant Channel Eternity Band this time. Haven’t lost one stone since I changed rings a year ago…and I still play with my more-frolicsome son.

  43. where is the bottom right one from?? Im in love with them all, especially that one.

  44. What did you end up choosing, Stephanie? I’m also looking at Leon and my goal is as thin of a diamond band as possible while still being able to support a sizable stone. I thought this was a simple request – who knew finding one 2mm or thinner was such a challenge!

    1. Author

      I went with a jeweler on 47th Street, reasonably priced, very thin band, micro diamonds on band and basket, and I fucking love it. Everyone was wrong. The stones are FINE and don’t chip off, fly off, etc. Good luck!

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.