booties

0452502291590_150x150_2 On rainy kindergarten days, we slipped plastic baggies over our socks to facilitate wedging into our squeaky rain booties. It’s the last time in our lives when we should be spotted in booties, really. Leave them to the infants and hand-knits, for all our sake. But now they’re here and there and everywhere. I do not like it, not one bit, in all sincerity, they look like shit.

Not with leggings, not with tights, not here or there, or anywhere. They are not sexy, they are not hip, for those considering, get a grip. I would not, could not, in a bar. I would not, could not, for a Tsar. I do not like any ankle boots, just seeing them gives me the toots. They might be in fashion, they might be en vogue, but I will not wear them, even à la mode.

Still, I do need to get my Labor Day shop on, and aside from Neiman Markups Last Call, I’m not quite sure where to go in this town. Suggesting I wear ankle boots with a long skirt is like suggesting I not wipe. I need a salesperson who can tell it to me straight, then pull from different sections of a store, things I’d never dare to wear. A stylist really, who can create high-style outfits that look thrown together in that "I’m not even trying, but don’t I have great taste?" way. They work their magic with a belt, a bold necklace, or some such accessory that pulls it all together in a fashion knot. A salesperson who’ll be wise and honest enough to allow, “They might be trendy, but they’re hideous and will give you the gout faster than you can say ‘Better Off Dead.’” I do not care for updated 80s trends, and would only find myself wearing such soles if, and only if, due to convenience, they were paired with jeans, and no one would be the wiser, like slipping plastic baggies over your socks before plowing into your Wellies.

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COMMENTS:

  1. Go to By George on S. Lamar and 6th. Ask for Teresa E. Tell her Tracy's sister, Brett, sent you.

    PS. Agree with you on the long skirt and booties, but I think below-the-ankle booties are cute with the right (short) dress.

  2. You really have to have the exact right boots to go with the right pants or dress to pull off ankle boots with anything.

    ps: we used to wear baggies on our feet in really cold weather. I don't think it even helped but we imagined it did.

  3. Too funny!

    High heels, I think not,
    Foot aches, mind reels,
    In my closet, those boots would rot.

  4. I thought I was the only one who refuses to wear ankle boots because they are UGLY. The only thing worse are those shoes that are 1/2 ankle boot, 1/2 pump. I forgot what they were calling them last season when they were all the rage.

  5. I wholeheartedly agree. No matter who tries to tell me that booties are in fashion, they will never make their way into my closet!

    Thanks for speaking out against a horrible fashion trend.

  6. Since you live in Austin..you should go to By George. It is my favorite store there, other than Emerald's. I know there are a few, but I always go to the one on Lamar across from Whole Foods.

    PS- Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in this world. You are one of the only people I feel like I can rely on to get me through my 30's and my divorce….

  7. My word, I couldn't be more with you on this sentiment. They could only be worse if those who thought they could pull the look off also paired these monstrosities with lacy ruffled socks.

    Horrendous.

  8. oh for a personal stylist to make fab outfits and disguise all my lumps & bumps at that same time. oh and a hairdresser too…….. I am in agreement regarding the little ankle boots, they are horrendous….

  9. Ahhhh…memories. We wore Wonder Bread bags. Those were joyful things, yes, shiny white with colorful circles of blue and yellow.

    And remember the pure joy of a piece of Wonder Bread, buttered and sparkled with sugar?

    Oh, and much love for the "Better Off Dead" reference.

  10. I hear you. These things are hideous and particularly so for those of us with, shall we say, athletic calves. I searched like crazy for a pair of mid-calf boots for fall that I can wear under jeans and not have to deal with knee high socks and pinching zippers. I can't help you much in the clothing department, but for shoes piperlime and zappos are my go-to sources. Order a bunch of styles & sizes, try them on in your own home with your long jeans for heels, short jeans for flats, wide legs and boot cuts, etc. (way better than trying to guess whether the heel is high enough to keep pants from dragging) and just send back the ones you don't want. Four magic words – free shipping both ways.

  11. hehe, I love this and I agree. I hate the way they look although I will get them to wear with jeans since I can't wear regular boots.

  12. Thank. Fucking. God. I hate those damn boots! I've heard people out here (mostly older women) call them shooties. Half boot, half shoe. When I see people wearing them I don't think they look cool or trendy; I think they look like slaves to fashion and feel bad for them that they don't have the confidence to sidestep bad trends.

    They don't look too awful when worn with bootcut jeans, but that's only because you can't tell that they stop three inches up.

    My prediction is that the sweater-dress from the early/mid 80's is next to come back.

  13. I wholeheartedly agree. I refuse to wear them under any circumstances. Also refusing to wear skinny jeans, ankle-length leggings, and the awful side ponytail that I keep seeing around. Absolutely not.

  14. I thought that I was the only one who detested this style of shoes. Thank you for putting into words what I have been thinking for the last year or so. And happy shopping!

  15. Stephanie, I'm not into those boots either. But what is worst is seeing a woman walking down the street, or in an ad, wearing high fur-lined suede ugg boots with a flimsy sleeveless short dress. If its hot enough for the little dress then its too damn hot for the stupid boots. Who dictates this shit anyway?

  16. I use a personal shopper at Nordstrom and have been very pleased. I'm in San Franscisco, so I don't have an Austin recommendation, but I think they generally hire good people.

  17. But would you wear booties with trouser pants?
    No? Not even if you had to stomp on ants?
    I sense full disclosure is required here:
    I would wear them if their true bootie status were not made clear.

  18. I could not agree more! No matter the age or size of the person wearing them, they always look ridiculous.

  19. Agree, I hate the ankle boot. It looks like something is missing. And they make legs look big, IMO. Just say no.

  20. I agree! Those things are heinous!!! I have to admit that I had a pair in the early aughts that I wore with jeans but I would sooner wear parachute pants than wear booties with a skirt.

  21. Shooties or booties only look passable on runway models. You know, with lithe perfect legs and even then it's not real life and you know they'll probably kick those off and put on their Chuck Taylors after the show is over. Booties are the equivalent of the dreaded 'dickie' some people used to wear- they looked like turtlenecks but were just flaps of fabric with a mock turtleneck top. Unthinkable.

    While we're at it, let's banish Crocs, too. My 2 year old niece might be able to get away with them, but that's it!

  22. I wear them with jeans, but that's the only time. I can't think of anything else you could pair them with. I do have to agree with the Dutchess, though. Open-toed booties are horrible. Even worse are open-toed, open-back booties.

  23. I'm so with you on the ankle boots. They are hideous. I also agree with the commenters about the open toe/open back booties. They look like they belong in a cartoon. Just awful.

  24. You and I are of the same mind. Ankle boots are hideous and so are all those 80's re-hashes. Come on designers give us something new, some innovation…not re-cycled, re-heated 80's crap that makes me want to vomit.

  25. Thanks for coming in and shopping with me! I wish i would have read this before…i would have removed them all from By George!!!!

  26. Those are really not that bad. I would wear them. Here where in the dead of winter the temp is still 70, they would feel better than boots going all the way to my knee. Especially under jeans/pants.
    Ballet flats, on the other hand, are terrible. Those flatter absolutely no one. Everyone's legs look better with even just a small heel.

  27. Ugly.fucking.shoes.

    No matter the color or the style, they scream at you like a pale man having sex in only black socks. No thankee.

  28. Damn, now I want to search an old truck for my teal (or pink) Forenza sweater — and put that baby on — backwards!

  29. What is with all of this 80's fashion coming back?? I was just down in the village and saw trendy type girls wearing…

    wait for it….

    high waisted "mom" jeans, AND long strap pocketbooks.

    I am not kidding. If they are in downtown Manhattan now, it will be about two or three years before they hit the shelves at the Gap.

  30. Well, this is awkward – I have shoes like that and I LOVE them! I wear them all the time, though with jeans or long pants, not skirts. But after reading this and some of the comments I wonder if the people who complimented me on them were secretly snickering! However, I must say that I live in Arizona so there's a bit more of a cowboy vibe, so it might be a bit more acceptable here. Oh wait, you live in Texas, don't you . . .

  31. hahaha no I love booties, what else could I wear with jeans? Full length boots? Heels? Flats, so my jeans hem drags on the ground? This is a practical matter for me. I never wear them with skirts, please. I personally like flatter booties. If you already have a jeans-shoe solution, dont bother.

    Anyway I know how you feel cause whenever I see peep-toes or those awful half boot-half heel-half open monstrosities Im all yuck and eewww like its 8th grade in my head.

  32. I don't care if those are Christian Louboutin. They are hideous. There are far too many people who think just because it's in fashion now, that it looks good. Just because they make it, doesn't mean anyone should wear it.

  33. I agree that these booties are not cute.

    RE: ginger
    You probably just saw a hipster. Aside from mom jeans, I think high-waisted pants are great if you can wear them. I have hated shopping for the last few years because of all of the "boob curtain" shirts that make every woman in America look pregnant. I am happy to see form-fitting clothing and women embracing her own silhouette.

  34. Those shoes are bloody lovely. Evolve people. Just because they look crud on you don't hate. I'll be shoving my cankles into knee highs this winter but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate these beauties . Now as for thigh highs…

  35. I'm certainly NOT a fashion expert, but, I thought I read somewhere that if you wore a fashion trend the first time around, you should never even think of wearing it when/if it comes back. I didn't wear those fugs then, and I know I won't be wearing them now.

    Blech!

    Although, I will say, I am supremely happy that pants that can FINALLY hide by belly are back in!! Muffin top was NOT attractive on me.

    Hmmm… wonder if Flash Dance fashion will show up soon too?

  36. As a big calf girl in a regular size body I love these boots. Perfect for the girl who can't get her legs in regular boots. Great with jeans and pants. Never with a skirt!

  37. I love Hunters, which are Wellies, I have them in orange and in forest green. They look cute with a trench coat and are good for rainy weather.

  38. God I wanna like this trend, but I just can't. Maybe I just couldn't pull it off, I don't know but I'm definitely more of a flat high boot girl. Good luck!

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