Phil- Give you $20 bucks if I can touch your bits?
Stephanie- I’m only worth $20? Not $200 at least?
Phil- No matter what number I said it would be too little. $2 million is too little.
Stephanie- And my bits? You want to touch my bits?
Phil- I couldn’t think of any other words and was just trying to be playful. I don’t want to fight with you. I’m just trying to initiate. Why do we have to fight?
Stephanie- I’m just being me. Are you saying you don’t want me to be me?
Phil- Yes. That’s what I’m saying. (turns over and goes to sleep)
He made it an argument by saying, "I don’t want to fight with you." I wasn’t fighting! I just wasn’t turned on by his approach. I’m not saying each and every time has to get all SECRETARY (the movie), and I knew he was trying, but that just wasn’t going to do it for me.
From his POV, each time is different and he never knows what I want. One time I’ll want him to be loving, another time, I want him to be domineering, and he can never tell, he argues, so why bother trying? I can see his point, but I’d argue, "no, just try harder."
Why is it so hard for men to realize that women are more cerebral, and if they want "in" they have to begin by getting into our heads, not into our girly gadgets.Otherwise, it’s always just going to be mediocre sex. My new plan? I’m going to buy some smutty books and ask him to read them, in hopes that he can work up a vocabulary beyond "can I touch your bits."