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In ALL, JUDY BLUME MOMENTS by Stephanie Klein23 Comments

It’s only fitting that I’m watching the Indigo Girls perform with Brandi Carlile on Super Bowl Sunday. I used to go to parties and eat dip and chickens stuffed into ducks stuffed into turkeys (turducken), and have to fight for a plastic cup while simultaneously searching for anything resembling wine in a kitchen full of empty beers. I’d graze about wondering when someone would have to get up from the sofa to pee. It was torture, but at the time, I was hoping I might meet a guy, so I forced myself out. Really, though, all I wanted to do was pass out. In the first ten minutes of being there, I’d know it was a bad idea, then I’d roll my eyes until they hurt, thinking how I should be home watching some station dedicated to women, airing sappy chick flicks back to back to back, to "honor" the Super Bowl. Some years I just left, saying I was suddenly tired, which I was. Standing around watching commercials was draining. I was an idiot to wear heels. Other years I stayed hoping more people might show up. I’m a total grinch when it comes to this particular Sunday, that is, unless I’m hosting it at my own home. Then, for me at least, it’s no longer about the football. It’s about snacks. About what I can serve, what I can improve, a menu that takes mastermind planning.

And then the beans got colds. Then mama got a cold. And now we’re a house full of sick without eating a single wing or lick of blue cheese. I’m going to bed.

Comments

  1. Go Giants! You can watch the ad's on TV or internet tomorrow. Have a good sleep.

  2. So sorry you're all ill – here's to a speedy recovery.

    Back when I was married, Super Bowl party planning and implementation were part of my duties – and a duty it was. The perfect parties, replete with every cliche'd food – trying to give a damn about football –
    ugh. Gross. People drinking too much and grinding salsa into my off-white carpet. Forced jocularity. Anger over a team losing, when 3 hours before it didn't matter who was playing. Makes my stomach hurt.

    Today, instead of all that, I went to the gym, did some shopping, got a massage, watched that women's only channel, did some laundry, looked at the puppy bowl, did some writing, sat in the hot tub, and didn't speak to another person until the darlings got home. Perfection! Bliss! Yay team!

    Now, let's just get through February and on to spring…enough of this winter nonsense already.

  3. I had the same exact "SuperBowl Sunday's" when I was single, too much pressure, I would've liked it better if it was Soup or Bowl! I hope you and the beans get better, it's hard to be sick and still on mommy duty!!!
    Love & Laughter,
    Melissa

  4. I look forward to my February cold every year. (Not really, but I seem to get one, yearly, in or around February.) Hope you and the crew are back to feeling fine soon.

  5. Sorry to hear everyone is sick. As far as the game goes this year it was pretty good. The commercials however (what I usually watch for) were lacking in entertainment.

  6. Get well soon beans and Mama.

    This post brings me back- I am so glad to be done with the whole party prowling scene myself. Some lovely homos I know threw a "commercials" party and spent the game portion ignoring the tv at all costs. If I had gone anywhere yesterday, that would have been the plan.

    Instead I stayed home, nursed Saturday's hangover, and watched the Miss America marathon on TLC. So much nicer.

  7. To Kim;
    Turducken is a true gastronomic phenomenon.
    They even have it in Canada where I was first introduced to it, except there it costs about a hundred bucks to buy.
    To truly enjoy it, you have to deep fry it.
    After, you might want to call your cardiologist.

  8. 3 Teens Mom: Did you see the Kitten 1/2 Time Show?? So cute, I woke up my middleaged cats & forced them to play with feather toys.

    Hope you all feel better soon, SK.

  9. Even when I was single, I thought the whole hoopla over the Superbowl was lame. I'm just not a sports fan and realized that if I went to a superbowl party, the only guys I'd be meeting would be sports fans…NOT my ideal man.

    So, in the end, I married a man who went to yoga class last night, not giving a sh*t if he saw the Giants win or not. Granted, when he got home, he did watch the end, in the basement, since I was watching the GH weekly marathon on Soapnet in the main tv room- but, that's ok with me.

    Any superbowl party I ever went to was only for the snacks.

  10. I fucking hate football.
    Maybe because I've never understood it and never had a bf who was patient enough to teach me.
    I used to bring a book with me to some super bowl parties or trash magazines and everyone would roll their eyes.
    But it's torture sitting there staring at men running around in plastic helmets and not understanding what you're watching.
    Boring as hell.

  11. My married/engaged friends and I went cross-country skiing on Mt.Hood and managed to get back in time for the fourth quarter of the Superbowl. It was the perfect remedy to what is always a boring day filled with overeating, whether one enjoys football (as the SP is about spectacle, not the game) or not. All of us were too physically exhausted from an exhilarating outdoor day to care one way or another about the commercials or the outcome. And because none of us were there to make food or snacks, the boys ended up ordering out for pizza or wings, meaning the clean-up was minimal and entirely up to them. It ended up being a great day.

  12. I watched the Super Bowl off and on with my boyfriend.. While I wasn't fixated on the game, I still wanted and hoped that they would win.

    I can't stand the Patriots and did not want to see them win another game. I'm so happy for the Giants!! :) ( My boyriend is a diehard fan.. but when it comes to favorite sports mine is baseball :) )

  13. What were you watching that had Indigo Girls performing with Brandi – I would DIE to see that!

    Feel better!

  14. Yeah, sounds like you used to do pretty much what I did yesterday….and even though I shoved my face into a bowl of nachos, and cheese fries….followed by a variety of beer, so many in fact that I lost track, I was scanning the bar for one, JUST ONE, attractive man…and apparently, they all stayed home. The nachos werent even worth the outing.

  15. I guess I'm the only one who thinks the Superbowl is kinda fun! Not life changing by any stretch… and usually the game is pretty lame and lopsided, but this year's game was amazing! I live in Manhattan, and the whole city was just euphoric last night after the Giants won.
    I grew up with a dad and brother who were big football fans, so every Superbowl Sunday was a minor holiday in my house. Mom would make tons of snacks, we were allowed to eat in front of the TV (which was a HUGE deal when we were younger), and we always invited a bunch of other kids over to watch, while a fire roared in the fireplace. Superbowl parties are terrible if you're looking to meet boys — girls like to chat during the game, but boys just want to scream at the TV set — but they're great for hanging out with friends and making all sorts of shamefully decadent, melted-cheese-covered food to share.

  16. Poor you.

    On the bright side, I will happily volunteer to eat your food to help make any of your Sundays more bearable. ;-)

  17. Funny. I call that 'surfing'. I would sometimes 'surf' when my parents would drag us to a movie we didn't want to see (ingrates!) and I would 'go to the bathroom' which mom found was code for checking out other movies. She chastised me for being rude of course and also said how wrong it was ethically. It's hard to do now though some as ushers will notice.

    I love the all day movie idea. I went to a movie alone at the Dobie recently (love that place, seats a little awkward though) and I swear some people react with pity like awww, no one wanted to go with you! I am not phased by it but it depends on your comfort level I guess. I am much more comfortable going it alone on a weekend matinee as opposed to a weekend night with couples. Then it looks like Miss Lonely Hearts in the house. My husband refuses to go alone.

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