I think books like these are a recipe for disaster. I have a few partially started in the "stuff from the exes" box. Not only are the answers inaccurate now, they were inaccurate days after I filled them out. Maybe I'm too emotionally impulsive and changeable for such things, but I think these are like photos on a bad hair day.

We just finished our Pre-Cana classes. It was somewhat informative and other things we felt were obvious. I think certain questions need to be asked, do you want kids, would you leave if someone had an affair, will love conquer all?

No one wants to answer these questions, but they are important. They are good segues if you are avoiding certain topics. I know so many people who avoid asking questions because they are afraid of the answer. I think it says something about the relationship.

I'm not saying you will get a divorce if you don't know these things before hand. I do however think avoiding questions, is really avoiding finding out things you already know/fear.

Oo, good idea with the "this is what I like for Valentines." Definitely going to play that card.

And you're absolutely right. Those types of questions can really show you where your hot spots are, and what your significant other's spots may be. Good explanation, thank you.

I didn't get the irony of that right away because, in your book, I didn't really get the feeling that he loved the other woman, I felt that he loved the life she let him lead. The circumstances of their relationship were what I felt he loved, the particular woman was of little consequence.

But I wasn't there and no one would know better than you what his feelings were or at least how they were portrayed to you.

Given how things turned out, I think it is hilarious that he was mad at you for believing "it was possible to romantically love two people, equally, at the same time," and that you answered yes to "Sometimes you worry that you are missing out on something by staying in this relationship."

That is always the question, I think sometimes ignorance is worth the bliss depending on the situation. But there is not growth in ignorance…even though there may be happiness?….it's a tough one. I say what you know makes you stronger.

If you were to respond to the statement "Your partner is the more interesting person," with regards to your relationship with Phil, what would your response be?

I am just curious if one can still consider themselves the more interesting link but also maintain a mutual, loving, respectful relationship.

Who's to say? Even if we know something, we are fully able to override it. Like you going through that book and marrying anyway. I've been a few relationships, where now looking back on it, I knew long before it ended that it wasn't right. But I decided to be ignorant and continue the relationship, convincing myself that it was right.

That last line looks like it got pulled right out of a SATC episode (written by Bradshaw herself).

And the All About Us book, I like that idea.

Eek. I think that any product that itself suggests the only reason you bought it is that you were drunk is questionable at best, but anyway….
I've never done one of these so I don't really know, but my first reaction is that it could drive a wedge between even a completely happy, functional couple. It puts doubt into the relationship without anyone even having done anything wrong. For example, you can look at someone's answer about being able to love two people at the same time, and in the back of your mind start worrying about them being faithful, whether or not cheating is the last thing on earth they would ever actually do. People's hypothetical answers to questions can be completely opposite to their actual behavior (as is pretty obvious when the reverse occurs). That seed of doubt could change the way you see you partner as a whole, and acted yourself. (I'm not suggesting this happened with you, it's just a hypothetical). I don't think I mean to say that "ignorance is bliss," but in unturning stones without cause to can I think create problems that wouldn't have otherwise existed.
Chacon a son gout, I guess.

I had completely forgotten about that book. I bought it and tried to get my live in boyfriend of almost two years to do it. He said he was all for it but when I realized I was completing it on my own that should have been a sign. He ended it a couple months later and that book went in the garbage with '100 nights of great sex' and the Dr. Phil relationship book. I love books that make us more self aware and include filling things out, but for me they're a sign of relationshop doom now.

Well, it looks like your feeds are sort of back up … except they sometimes cutoff and there's no formatting, but it's a ton easier for me to read them. I'll understand if you take the functionality away, I guess. I mean, I won't to the extent that I don't see how removing an rss feed makes it harder to copy and past your work, as I think I could make an entire copy of your blog and put it on my hard drive if I wanted to, but I'll understand that you felt you needed to.

My fiance and I did this book over the course of a year. Every once in a while we would sit down and answer a few pages– we had so much fun. We promised each other it wouldn't cause a fight, and we stuck to it. I think we became closer; it is all about your relationship, and what you make of the book together. I totally recommend it.

I just figured out what bothered me about this post:

"We were married three months later. Hence, I strongly recommend this book to anyone in a relationship, not only for what you'll learn of your partner but what you'll learn about yourself."

I just feel like it's completely counterintuitive. To me it's like saying, "I bought one and it totally didn't work for me, go pick yourself up one today." I know that is not what you meant, but I feel like it left out a step. For example, "At the time, I just could not see what the book was trying to say, but after the relationship ended…." Something. For me, it was just a large leap of logic that my brain was not prepared for.

FROM STEPHANIE: Makes sense. I should have included the next step. Saying something like, "I didn't want to see what the book was showing me. And in avoiding the painfully honest, I got my fair share of it later on, when I then had no choice but divorce. In recommending this book, I hope you're willing to see what it might bring to your attention."