Finish this sentence: I’m as lazy as…
*Finish this sentence will now appear each and every Tuesday. Because I love it, and I’m lazy, and I might just use the best line in Moose (without even giving credit! Woo hoo!) Okay, I won’t use it. It’s just for fun. If you prefer, just make a $20,000 Pyramid list of "things that are lazy." I’ll post my list, or sentence, at the end of the day, and then you can chime in and pick your favorites.
In Moose, I think I’ve narrowed it down to "Susan." Though I was tempted by "a pregnant hippo with a trick knee" because a trick knee is always funny. But funny like that wouldn’t have worked in this context anyway. Here’s the context:
She walked to a chrome sink and washed her hands with foam. I sat upright in my paper gown, glancing at the chair across the room where I’d parked my shorts and running shoes. I could bolt my way out, rip into my sneakers, tighten my gown, and bushwhack my bare bottom through the forest of ultrasound technicians, genetic counselors, and maternal-fetal medicine specialists. But I was as lazy as Susan. I just sat there and grunted.
We weren’t about to listen for the heartbeats, and there’d be no ultrasounds this visit. I was about to be weighed.
“Ahem,” I grumbled to Philip with my finger pointing to the door. My vagina, my husband could see. But my weight was another story.
This is what I love about a second draft, the ability to go back in and tool around with words and ideas.
A list of other things I was considering:
As lazy as…
a crock pot
a popcorn ball
a jar of minced garlic
a brussel sprout
a drink coaster
a prize pig at the County Fair
an electric knife
peanut butter and jelly that comes in one jar
a half moon
I was about as active as a concrete block
I was about as active as cement
a reclining chair
a snooze button
a pickle in brine
a hippo in a swamp
I ultimately went with Susan (I think), making reference to a lazy susan, which is food-related, but not in an overt way. I’m sure some readers will perk up, and say, huh? Who’s Susan? But then they’ll get it. Maybe. My second runner up was semi-circle. Though I did like ones that didn’t make sense, but you still got the idea. I liked images of heavy objects, or funny words. And this is just an inside look at the brainstorming process.