Tappin’ the box. Sounds like lyrics to a rap song. That or the title to some Internet porn. But really it’s our code for "I want more boxed wine, honey." Oh, yeah. I’m living like it’s cool to be "porch drunk." This means I went to Target (not Tar-jey), and said, "what the hell. I want to try it!" Two bottles in a box for ten beans. Woo hoo. They call it "the wine cube." Total hick thing to do, perhaps. People scoff at the idea, but really, some pretty remarkable wines come in boxes these days. It’s the stigma people have a problem with. But the Target Shiraz-cab blend is actually decent. Especially come the second glass, when all of life seems to taste better.
My friend Lacey is the one who suggested we all get "porch drunk" while the kids are with her parents. Which reminds me I need to call her. I’ve been so out of touch with all of my girlfriends, girls I really like, always have fun with. Girls I speak about as if we haven’t stopped speaking. And we haven’t technically stopped, any of us. But life gets in the way. Colds. Deadlines. Scrapbooking. Feeling too fat. Or lame. Or tired. It happens. But I do miss my dinner parties, being social, and generally my girl time, where we totally get the silly insecurities, the lies we tell, to ourselves, to others.
In high school I was one of those girls who said, "I have more guy friends because girls are impossible." Translation: I’m cute. Boys like me. It’s just easier. Then I grew up and realized a woman without female friends is not just missing out on so much, she’s afraid. Of rejection. Sure, she can get guys to like her. But really, the true test of who you are, your qualities, the ones people adore despite the frizz, the idiotic "my brain fell out" comments, and the roll hanging over your pants, comes down to who your girlfriends are. If you’re one of those, "girls don’t get me" girls, it’s time to tell yourself anything else. "I want more female friends," is a good start.
I have received, not one, but many solicitations titled, "I’m not a lesbian, but I think we should go out," via dating sites, back in the day. Now, I didn’t end up meeting up with any of them, mostly because I thought it was kind of strange hearing, "we should go out to meet guys together." But, I applaud the spirit. I think more women need female friends, the kind they love as much as their lover. The kind they can say anything to, anything, no matter how hideous it sounds. A friend you can admit things to, who perhaps one day you’ll grow old with. Women outlive men, right? Imagine for a moment, the idea, as morbid as it seems, that you, as a woman, happen to outlive your spouse (even if you’re not married yet). Who then would you like to grow old with? Or, um, who would you like to ask to pass the box o’ wine?