mean people suck, what will you suck back?

meanpeople2Imagine, as you must, that I get a pile of shit everyday from drive-by readers who want to bitch me out because they honestly believe I write this blog to entertain them.  Now double it.  I of course get your average, “You’re a jap, and so self-centered” missives, and then the slightly meatier, “Where is your sense of obligation to the world?!” outraged ALL CAPS kind of memos.  Throw in the occasional, “I hope you get cancer” email along with the ever lovely, “Divorce him now,” advice.  “You’ve lost your edge” makes me laugh, along with “Where’s the old Stephanie?”  The old Stephanie, if you really care to click through the archives, wrote about antiperspirant and sushi and makeup and hair products, too.  Thanks. And she had spelling mistakes she never bothered to correct.  Life, I promise, goes on.

We all go through phases. Bad hair, bad pants, bad, bad color schemes, bad boys, bad manners. There are wilder times, fuck this shit–I can’t take it anymore times, cozy happy content times, crisis, recognizing how much we need to change times.  It’s all part of who I am.  Bad hair color times.  I forgot that one.  I’m a complainer sometimes who wants to vent about her vagina or fat or missing her friends or dog, yes, even though there are people dying from hunger and disease.  Wants to bitch about her husband.  Wants to dream up the perfect cozy home and use the blog as a route there.  Wants to make a list of wants, however frivolous from how to set her dining table to nail polish colors to the best belt for jeans.  Worries about her job as a mother and just wants to get it down, on the old-fashioned Internet.  Wants to capture sweet moments with her children, wants to take photos of them miserable.  Wants to just be me, not be ON, just be.  And that’s why I started this blog, and it’s what I intend to continue to do, despite the emails stating, “Single women or women who are not as fortunate to have a charmed life would not relate to your perfect dining room table.  I am as fortunate and find it boring. Being a Psychiatrist is what drove me to write this to you.”  Oy. 

And from the same reader: ” I thought that you were Jewish.  Those of us who are don’t really care about the wreaths and the holiday stuff that you seem to write about quite frequently.  Xmas is two months away and when you pass by Gracious Home on the UWS their X-mas wares are already in the window.  It’s not even Halloween! It seems premature for you to be writing about that already.”  Again, my answer is, I don’t post to keep up with the season, the nines, or the Joneses.  I write about what’s on my mind and what I’m feeling, and I don’t have a boss who approves it, to see if it’s what others want to think about.  So despite how well-intentioned you may be, and I appreciate that you are, try to understand that I do this for me, to just let loose and be able to have this space as my public scrapbook. 

Yes, public. Public because people enjoy it, but more importantly, because it makes people think.

And I think in the coming weeks, you’ll see a whole lot more of that uncensored me (even if it’s a full week of drunk emails from my past, or lists of all the material things I want, or all the things I’m thankful for, or all the things I can’t afford but want to). Definitely a post or twenty with every single sentence beginning with “I” or “Me” or “My.” Because I can. Because this is mine. Because with Moose handed in, I expect to post more, though very little of it will be polished and well-written, simply because between magazine writing, book writing, and TV writing, I plan to use this space as a sounding board and vent space, as I did when this blog began.  Because my rant is done and so is the day. 

There are the “How do you deal with all the horrible shit people say to you?” emails, which I might as well address–because giving all the attention to the “When you write about the ‘beans’ and how content you are with life, it’s dull and boring,” emails isn’t fair–where readers are asking me for advice on how to handle it, as they’re just now getting their first taste of it.  I could say something about thick skin and a good cream for that, but the truth is, like everything else you get enough of, you simply become desensitized.  And then, if something does bother you, you might use it as a lesson, figuring out what you can learn about yourself by reading your reaction. 

Why am I letting this bother me?  More often than not, it truly is THEIR PROBLEM, not yours.  But if something really does bother you, and I’ve said this before, try to figure out why you’re so hurt by it.  Usually, you’ll come to this conclusion: is there truth in it?  And if so, does it bother me enough to change?  And that’s all we really need.  Seriously, the assmunches in our lives really can be our greatest teachers because they force us to look within and kind of self-test, do a status check, on how we’re feeling about who we are.  Mean people do suck, so make them suck to your advantage.  Make ‘em suck the good parts.  It’s why I’ll simply start replying, “eat me.” 

Some people even think they have good intentions.  They believe they’re somehow helping you, offering you their unsolicited advice, cloaked behind a simple, “Well, since you put yourself out there and keep comments open, you must want to hear what I think.”  What many people miss about this, and many other popular blogs, is we’re not, or at least I’m not, ever writing hoping to delight people.  It’s my account of my life.  Sometimes I use the blog as a tool… because I WANT to know what people think.  I ask for opinions or thoughts.  I want to know what people think their own private sexy looks like, what their favorite cookbooks are, where they go in Vegas.  And sometimes I use the blog to vent, simply a moment in time, captured in a little white window on a computer screen.  And then everyone chimes in, how dysfunctional I am, what a wretched speller, how horrible I always make Phil out to be, what a great mom, bad mom, patient mom.  And maybe it’s all true.  And maybe it’s not.  Does it even matter?   

I think we all read to learn something, sometimes about things we don’t know, other times about what’s familiar, hoping sometimes to see something in a fresh way, to look at our lives from a different angle, to see how someone else sees herself and maybe figure out if we’re more like her, or were like that once, or hope to be, or perhaps we’re thankful we’re nothing like her.  But when we read, we think, and we’re able to make small decisions.  All that thinking without really having to think much.  Just a blog.  A few comments.  A day.  But it’s usually better.  Perhaps people read my blog because it makes them think of something in our own lives, pasts, presents, nexts.  We sometimes read to feel less alone, to say, “Yes, that’s it, that’s totally how I feel right now, and I’ve never been able to say it!”  And of course we read to be entertained.  But the job of this blog is not that.  It’s stories of my life, sometimes in the past, and sometimes just a place for me to get down a moment in a moment.

I love writing, keeping a record.  Interacting.  I love meeting people through the blog, feeling less alone, and I can’t say how much it meant, truly, when I was in the knee-deep of it with Lucas and brain surgery, and could at least have this outlet and connection to lean on.  And I did.  Many bloggers might be above that, say they don’t care.  But I do… when it comes to support and help and love.  I love that I moved to Austin knowing no one, and I’ve made friends with many women through this blog.  Actually, I can only think of one or two Austin girlfriends who I didn’t meet online, or through another friend I met online.  It’s an exceptional tool, but by no means is it meant to provide entertainment.  I’m glad it does, glad to receive the sweet emails and comments letting me know I tasted good with their latte, but the “I liked your blog better when you wrote about being single” shit is fucking annoying. 

I write about my life.  As is.  I hope you can understand that, and if not, if you find it less than satisfying, simply move on, or wait for my next magazine article or book or TV show or feature film.  I have to be true to who I am and the things that interest me now.  I’m not Linus.  I don’t do tricks… and I rarely bite.  But I can. 

55 Responses to “mean people suck, what will you suck back?”

  1. Katherine Says:

    Reading your blog for me, and surely for many other people, often makes me think of my own opinion of the issue you write about, my own values, what I would do in the situation — because you don't scratch the surface of your topics but really delve deep, bringing the reader with you, so they can't help but react themselves. I think this is why people often feel compelled to comment with an opinion — whether it comes out as advice, an anecdote, criticism, etc. (Exhibit A, this comment).
    And I think the "it's really their problem" aspect of the criticisms really comes out if you look at the tone of what people write angrily or calmly: who seems happy and can live and let live whether they agree or not, and who seems desperate to justify their own opinions and choices.

    Reply

  2. cromulent Says:

    please hammer, don't hurt 'em!

    Reply

  3. Tara N Says:

    Well put my dear!!

    Oh and your last post was about role models– and at 23 I have to say you are one of my biggest role models. I admire you. You are strong and brave and how can someone diss those qualities?

    Thank you for putting yourself out there (the good the bad the ugly) and being who you are no matter what the haters may say!!

    Thank you thank you thank you- from the very bottom of my heart.

    -Tara

    Reply

  4. kedibek Says:

    Who knows if this will mean much of anything in the midst of what I assume to be a long list of wonderful comments, but I still feel like mentioning it. I started to read your blog about three years ago when I read about it in the times. I have followed pretty much every entry from NY to Austin to the little trips in between. I just wanted to say thanks for writing. I know you dont do it for those that read it so much as you do it for yourself, but really thanks. Im a college junior and I have to say that its been nice reading your lessons and advice and general life moments while my life has been changing so drastically. Though I haven't met you I reference you as if I had, not in an every day obsessive sort of way, but in general conversation once in a while. Ive always had to be the big sister and thus never had a big sister of my own to get advice from, but you should know that I have gained a lot from you over the years. Geeze i sound like one of those blog stakler types and I am, its true, but again thanks. Your fellow texan, going to school on the east coast and semestering all the way down in Chile! kt

    Reply

  5. Judy V. Says:

    I found your blog the other day and love reading it you are a very talented writer and your candidness sp is irresistable thank you for being in the bloggers sphere.
    Judy V

    Reply

  6. freepie Says:

    I started reading 3 years ago, and I check every day.

    I love your blog more than ever.

    Thanks for writing Stephanie!

    All the way from Shropshire, England.

    Reply

  7. Fiona Says:

    I think I experience a bit of a disconnect when you say you want to use this blog for personal expression, but have it so obviously tied to your commercial endeavors (particularly promoting your books).

    You are extremely brave to put your life out there like you do. While I don't necessarily agree with some of your opinions, I fully recognize and appreciate your right to say what you want, how you want, and when you want. And I can sit back and choose to read it or not.

    But please understand that telling your audience that you don't really care what they think about many subjects and have very little intention to entertain is rather aloof when you also would like them to purchase your books.

    FROM STEPHANIE: I don't think it's aloof. I think people understand that I, too, need to make a living and help support a family. I do not litter my site with advertisements, though I have been experimenting with amazon context links (still working that out, so it can be annoying right now). My point here is, I write for me and also have no problem addressing my readership, about many things, and I'm proud of my books, so why wouldn't I promote it? I'm my own biggest advocate, and if I don't believe in the work, no one else should. Saying, "look, not here to entertain you, that's what my books are for" isn't such a contradiction, and neither is my asking readers to meet up to play BINGO with me. Woo hoo!

    Reply

  8. the other K Says:

    In "Prisons We Choose to Live Inside", Doris Lessing writes, "… a great many people enjoy war. But this is one of the facts about war that is not often talked about."

    Perhaps many people who read this blog enjoy (Greek) tragedy way more than (Jewish etc.) joy.

    "You should be ashamed for talking about Xmas decorations!" really sounds a lot like the good old, "Don't you know there are starving kids in the world?" – so eat, as you must, just don't enjoy the meal.

    I don't understand, why guilt is such a huge part of our lives and I also don't understand, why we tend towards the tragic. A person doesn't have to be naive and out of touch with reality for choosing to focus on the good and the beautiful, whether it's table setting or table tennis. Quite the contrary. What else is there to live for besides small joys? Bad things happen all the time. To make it in this world, we need the good, the kind and even the mundane. We certainly don't need more depressed folk, and nothing stalls and depresses people quite like mulling on personal or global tragedy, especially if they're incapable of changing things.

    Perhaps some people prefer tragedy, because it feels more consistent with their sense of the "real." Tragedy incites no jealousy and no comparisons. I'm talking about being comforted by a shared (negative) experience, which all too often turns into, "You're not happy, so I can't be happy / I'm not happy, so you can't be happy." "Now we're both miserable, so we understand each other." My experience has been that many people are at their most comfortable when they commiserate. They feel connected and understood. Other people's joys or happy disposition can leave them feeling very uncomfortable, lacking, exposed, or hostile; experiencing their own makes them afraid they'll lose what they've got.

    When sadness, lack, and suffering resonate that strongly, one thing's for sure: peace of mind is usually sorely missing.

    FROM STEPHANIE: Beautifully said.

    Reply

  9. Lucy Says:

    You forgot two other reasons: To create your own drama, and to gain that much-craved attention.

    And remember, an author's purpose for writing doesn't necessarily always jive with a reader's purpose for reading. If that upsets you, look at the writer herself, not the readers. If it doesn't, then move on.

    Reply

  10. Cecilia Says:

    well said girl ^^…

    and I also think that this "thick skin" comes useful in life… That's why I don't "hide" myself too, but I like to be "out there". If that makes sense.

    Reply

  11. jessica Says:

    Razzle dazzle stephanoe

    Reply

  12. T Says:

    I just think you have something to offer for the many varieties of people and steps in life people are at. I don't have a child yet, so I don't really relate to the kid posts, but then a day later, you write about something I can relate to- the good thing, is whether you are writing for yourself or for others, your blogs are pretty well-rounded on topics. You never know what you're going to get.

    I think when you put yourself out there like this- it's just like any "celebrity"- people who read feel like they "KNOW" you and get way too invested. Almost obsessed. When they write hate mail or asinine shit really ANALYZING you or the blog, it totally IS about them and their neurosis and psychosis, lol- they think you're speaking directly to them and can't get over it. They really need a therapist and are using your blog instead. CA-RAZY.

    I do admit to wondering about the Jewish thing. Only because I am Jewish but was raised with an xmas tree because it was "fun". My parents were more "hippy" than "Jewy". My husband was raised more religious and has very strong beliefs that there should be no xmas for us. So, I gave it up. His reasons make sense. I miss the decorations and stuff- but I get it. So- I just wonder about your reasoning behind being okay with it all- and still having a Jewish identity. But as you can see- your writing about xmas has me thinking about ME and MY situation- lol. So, like I said before- it IS all about the reader and how they relate to what you're doing or thinking- NOT about you.

    So- basically- try not to feel so judged. People are really judging themselves by comparison to you. Try to feel flattered that you're evoking that much thought or passion- bad or good.

    FROM STEPHANIE: Thanks. And, I think the holidays are about traditions. Phil has no problem with a tree, and since I grew up with one, helping my mother celebrate her traditions, it has always felt natural to me, despite my Jewish identity. I also celebrate the Jewish Holidays (not all of them, but the biggies… and since I spent so many years in hebrew school, I even understand most of the smaller ones.)

    Reply

  13. Lauren Says:

    I hope this comes out right….there are days that I read one of your posts and just roll my eyes and think "if only my life were so enchanted" and then there are days I read and cry and still other days I laugh out loud or just sit and ponder. But I do and feel the same things with my closest friends and family…you might not "like" them everyday but you always love them. That's how I look at things here – I might not like what you write everyday or agree with it or relate to it, etc. BUT I always come back and I ALWAYS respect you for your honesty. There are very very few writers on the internet who are as open and honest and true to themselves and their readers as you are, and I truly appreciate that. I know you don't write for us, but that's beauty of it all – in writing for yourself and letting us tag along, you've helped many of us get in touch with our most raw, real, flawed, perfect selves. Thank you.

    Reply

  14. j Says:

    I think it's nuts for people to send you e-mails like you describe. However, I honestly don't understand why you (and other bloggers) choose to create a public blog rather than write in a diary if you're not looking for reactions from readers. And if you only want comments in certain situations (like tips for Vegas etc) why not only turn on the comment function then?

    Maybe my lack of understanding is generational – I don't really get Facebook or Myspace either.

    Reply

  15. Courtney Says:

    Your frankness, vulnerablility and realness are what make me come back to this blog everyday to see what you have posted. I read it knowing that I will feel just as you do, laugh, commiserate, dream and THINK! It is in doing so that I find out a little bit more who 23 year old me is, my goals, my values, my aspirations, my dreams, what I am willing and not willing to compromise on. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING AS FABULOUS AS YOU ARE!!!!

    Reply

  16. Deborah Says:

    Love you and your blog just the way it is. Please don't change a thing, unless of course, you want to :)

    Reply

  17. natalie Says:

    i read your blog more for your style of writing than the content sometimes because the contents of your life and my life are very different. i read your blog for lines like these:
    "I could say something about thick skin and a good cream for that"

    thank you!

    Reply

  18. Mel. V Says:

    I have read your blogs for awhile, but now that I am in Baghdad I love the chance to disappear for a few minutes and daydream. I enjoy the lists and have had a crazy version myself since being here. I look forward to Christmas with my husband, showering barefoot, eating with silverware, sitting in Starbucks, sharing some of my stories, and meeting my best friends new baby. Thank you.

    Reply

  19. J Says:

    I often wonder how long it will take for all of the crap to build up for you to write another cleansing post like this to tell everyone that it is your blog and you'll write what you want. I am sometimes surprised that it is not more frequently.

    I will agree that the tone of your blog, for me, has changed, but I think you have too – in your life. So it seems only fitting, right?

    In any event, I'll say what I pretty much always do when you write these posts – I'm sorry if my comments ever annoy or offend you. They are never intended to do either.

    FROM STEPHANIE: Thanks Justin. Your comments never annoy or bother me.

    Reply

  20. anotherjap Says:

    Your panties are in a twist are they? It's not a criticism, jut the facts: you are living the jap lifestyle. Mom comes first, then the kids.

    Reply

  21. Laura Says:

    Well I absolutely love the stories of your life. Your writing inspires me. It makes me want to document my life better. Sometimes I leave comments because your post makes me think, but I hope none of them have ever felt like 'advice'. I just love to read good writing from people who 'keep it real', and you do!

    Reply

  22. Arin Says:

    Stephanie,

    Try imagining this: A reader who can't fathom how you can blog about anything else when your son is so ill (I actually admire this in you), or a reader who cringes at the thought of marriage to someone who you admit can be verbally damaging, and who presents himself this way on this blog. As readers, we take you at face value. And we react based on our own feelings and experiences. It won't be all hearts and flowers. Because honesty elicits honesty, and you need to just roll with it. The length of your diatribe here makes it clear that you are somehow undone by the critique. Just laugh all the way to the bank, lady.

    Reply

  23. j Says:

    So, what is the best belt for jeans? :)

    Also, with the holidays approaching, I hope you do more of those fun list-y shopping posts. So many great ideas there.

    Good for you for staying true to yourself. I, for one, love your writing and respect your attitude towards life and all the changes in it. If I didn't, I'd simply stop reading.

    Reply

  24. mandy Says:

    Stephanie – i have been reading for about 3 years. i have loved the insight into your life and feel like many of your other readers, that i am a little part of your journey.
    i can't imagine still being an avid reader all this time if you did not write this blog for yourself, if you censored yourself or held back. that is what makes this forum what it is. Thanks.

    Reply

  25. BlueEyes Says:

    I admire this post! I recently found your Blog! LOVE IT! People are mean….It's amazing how many crazy hateful comments/emails I get at times.
    I blog about my life…although it may not be interesting to some…it's my life. If someone does not like my blog, then stop reading it. I do not blog to make anyone else happy!
    Keep up the Good Work!

    Reply

  26. patti Says:

    ok, to clarify: when i mentioned the huge wiener you could get in vegas, it was just that…a huge wiener you could get in vegas. i meant nothing more. it wasn't a political statement. no hidden parent advice. no bashing. just a great big wiener you could get in vegas.

    whew, i feel better.

    Reply

  27. Andria Says:

    Blah. We all have raving Fucktards in our lives. Always nice to have a little salt with our sweet. (Excuse my language. I am forever pregnant, and am moody thinking of the fact that I have to get on 35 this morning. And, yes, people- I am gonna be kissing my baby with the mouth that just uttered "fuck".)

    Reply

  28. Teresa Says:

    I look forward to checking your blog everyday. I've enjoyed watching your life evolve. Fuck the naysayers- who takes the time to actually post to bitch about someone's holiday decorating choices. Keep writing- it means alot to alot of people. Thanks!

    Reply

  29. Daniela Says:

    I appreciate your work and your authenticity.

    Stay as you are.

    Greetings from the middle of Germany

    Reply

  30. Woman Says:

    Stephanie, this is the second and last time I write a comment. The first never made it to the comment section. I used to admire you for your openness, honesty and talent. But I no longer believe you are honest nor open since you deleted my comment. It wasn't a hate one. I used to think that comments are not censored and therefore, they reflect what your readership thinks of you and your posts. I was naive. You filter them and only allow enough 'dissent' in the section to make readers believe this is a 'democratic' blog. It seems you are craving admiration and praise and cannot bear criticism or the thought of your fans knowing that there are people who challenge some of your ideas. I know this is your blog and you are writing what you are writing for your pleasure. But since it is a blog, it means you want people's reaction, a reaction you are inviting by opening a comment section. But I guess the only reaction you ever want is to people dazzled by your lifestyle. So much for your self-confidence, self-respect and satisfaction with life.

    Reply

  31. Kari Q. Says:

    As for the "we liked you better when you were single and unhappy" crap, it sort of relates to how some people feel about Tori Amos (hear me out!). She used to play tortured, raw, sad, depressing music that was extremely powerful. People connected to that, partially because she was more miserable than they were, and that made them feel better. Flash forward ten years, and she's happily married with a beautiful daughter, a great career, and pretty much everything she could have asked for. Her music – while no longer as dark or depressing – comes from a different place, a more settled place. To some people, that's less interesting. They'd prefer her to be utterly miserable and spilling her guts all over the stage. But if she actually did that – she'd be called pathetic. They'd ask "How can she be so miserable when she has all these wonderful things in her life?". It's a no win situation.

    I think the most interesting thing about life is writing about the times when nothing is actually that wrong. How we deal with the unrest of contentment. How much we paddle against the status quo. How scary it is when everything goes quiet. There's so much value in that, and I think that you're very very brave to write the way you do. We're all self-serving and shallow sometimes, but where we'd all censor ourselves, you come right out and say it. Even if I disagree with some of your points of view (at times I do), its far more interesting than other writers who present these sanitized versions of themselves. Some may consider you trivial, or less exciting – I consider you brave.

    Reply

  32. Daniela Says:

    I appreciate your work and your authenticity.

    Stay as you are.

    Greetings from the middle of Germany!

    Reply

  33. Jen Says:

    One thing that I find such comfort in about life is that we are always changing, evolving and growing. For one or many to expect this blog to stay the same as it was three years ago would be ridiculous. With the evolution of life, your opinions and reactions and thoughts change so much. Personally, I never thought that I would be where I am today, three or four years ago.

    Variety is the spice of life. Everyone will have their opinions and differences. I enjoy this site, I check it daily. I loved reading about your life in New York and I now love hearing about the beans. I do not always agree with your opinions, but you make me laugh and you also make me think, which I appreciate.

    We as readers do only get a glimpse into your world and your life. I am glad that you allow us into your world.

    Thank you for your writing, I love it.

    Reply

  34. jeneria Says:

    Amen Sister! You have to entertain no one but yourself.

    Reply

  35. JustJen Says:

    Can you come help me decorate my tree?
    Been reading for years, I check for a new post everyday. I enjoy your writing VERY much!

    Reply

  36. Jane Says:

    As many have said before, I look forward to reading your blog every day. And I learn new words like 'craptastic'! (from bk.# 1) lol

    Reply

  37. laura Says:

    I agree with Lauren, 8:14 AM comment.

    I don't have the balls to post about my life as freely and as publicly as you do. I admire what you're doing. I've been reading for two years, and I'll keep reading as long as you keep writing, whether I'm rolling my eyes about your purchase of $48 candles or sending a little prayer up for Lucas.

    I think Lucy's a bit of an idiot based on her comment, and I think anyone who criticizes you for promoting your own books on your own damned web site needs a swift kick in the ass.

    Keep doing what you're doing. Being your most authentic self. If you can do that, without hurting anyone, it's the best you – or any of us – can hope to do.

    Reply

  38. emily Says:

    i, too, was wondering how long it would be before you wrote something like this. good for you! i discovered your blog over a year ago and have enjoyed it ever since. i love your lists, love that you got me excited about making my home cozy for my first christmas with my husband, love hearing that lucas and abigail are doing well and especially love that your posts give me something to daydream about. so, thank you, for being willing to share what so many people aren't.
    and mel v., you're in my thoughts… i'm excited for you to get to do all those things when you get home from baghdad. i'm sending good thoughts your way.

    Reply

  39. JillW Says:

    This blog is a source of happiness to many, and clearly to you. Isn't that what matters most? It helps us feel connected, and part of a group, whether we've been through an experience or not. It's a special part of my day, and I'm sure many others'. Naysayers need to do themselves a favor and stop reading if they have such a problem, because for the rest of us, it's a welcome respite from the daily trials and tribulations of life. Keep up the good work, Stephanie! You're a beautiful writer, whether you spell right or not.

    Reply

  40. LeAnn Says:

    I have been an avid reader since "straight up and dirty" I was looking for something to get me through a bad break up and take me out of my own situation. It did just that… not only could I relate to you it was nice to know that the thoughts I had at the time weren't crazy or wrong they had just been tucked away too long! I love the fact that you write for you… that is what this is for… I am just glad you allow reader's like myself to come along for the ride. Of course you are going to write differently as your life changes… its like a quote from "the wedding singer"… no one wants to see a 50 year old Fonzie hitting on chicks!"… if you didn't change people would find fault in that too.. keep on doing what you do. For those who complain b/c the feel like they have to let you know something… you pretty much summed it up by saying "eat me" how perfect! I mean really how often in life do we ALL want to say the same thing… to a friend, cousin, or stranger who makes that one rude comment at the end of a bad day! All together now… "eat me" :)

    Reply

  41. Erin Says:

    Stephanie, I have never, on my albeit new blog, posted about how to set a dining room table, or about nail polish, or about anything materialistic. Never rants going on about my man or my vagina. I write what is suppose to be an uplifting, positive blog. And I get the same damn feedback. One of the worst was in regards to a post where I had written:
    Own yourself now.
    Own your beauty now.
    Set it down for nothing.
    And go forward in that.
    You can, you can, you can, oh yes, you can!

    So really, it begs the question-
    Is it really in response to what you are writing?

    Reply

  42. Jill Says:

    A round of a applause.

    Reply

  43. amy Says:

    Stephanie- Great post! I look forward to reading your blog everyday.

    Reply

  44. Tiffany Says:

    I, for one, much prefer you're more recent writing. First, as every does, you've grown as a writer. Second, as a married woman, your posts about family and career, interest me far more than the writing about sexcapades or NY parties.

    Reply

  45. Jessy Says:

    Protest too much, much?

    If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't need to write this screed. I'm sorry, but I'm now officially a former reader. *sells book on ebay*

    Reply

  46. anna Says:

    I adore you.

    I write for the same reasons. Beacuse I can and because sometimes I just want to put things out there the way IIIIIII see them and not the way I'm supposed to see them or whatever. Just because I freaking can.

    You have a great voice

    Reply

  47. MaggieATLANTA Says:

    THAT IS THE WHY STEPHANIE KLEIN ROLLS… end of story!!!!!!! YOU GO, GIRL!

    Reply

  48. sara Says:

    i've been reading greek tragedy since 2004. it's delighted me, enraged me and even inspired me. i've taken your advice (that you have generously offered in the past) and have learned that any emotion i feel for or against a word spoken here is, indeed, a reflection of my life situation or my deeper issues. that's the point of stories, biographies and accounts of life shared in public space – to feel something, to learn or even to expand one's true understanding of how different we are as people and how different we are as individuals on a day-to-day basis.

    in that sense, you've delivered your life as a vivid illustration of ups and downs. and on the topics of your fortune, of your wants and your need for spoils, of your more "petty" desires – that's possibly the most human aspect of this venue. most people bash this aspect critically – not because they aren't thinking THE EXACT SAME THINGS, but because they wouldn't say it out loud.

    can't wait for moose, can't wait for you to extend your writing to an even bigger public. i tend to avoid defending you in comments because that's your gig, but this is one time i will truly say anyone who hates you and keeps hating you is truly fueling the fire of your success and extending your publicity. and that's what i call karma.

    Reply

  49. Jaime Says:

    Stephanie, your blog is great, you are great…..and all those people who bitch about what you write about – I don't see them coming up with their own blogs!!

    you go, girl.

    Reply

  50. Pammer Says:

    Heard one the other day I thought you might like: If mean people suck, they should be made to swallow.

    I concur.

    Reply

  51. Jamester Says:

    Well said sister, no, I don’t know you, but I feel you! Being a dysfunctional, inconsiderate, whiner at times myself, sometimes we just need to LET IT OUT!!!!! Most of my girlfriends and I agree, that no, we should not be bitching but we feel the need to and it makes us feel better, and maybe in a momentl of clairty or regret, we will repent and sometimes we may not, however our love and loyalty and devotion to those that we may be bitching about will never waiver! As to those other mean-shits, all I can say is maybe they’ll find a warm place in the afterlife they can bitch about others precieved wrong doings for eternity!

    Reply

  52. Jillian Keefe Says:

    I know this is a bit delayed…but I am catching up. ;)
    Stephanie, well said. I too enjoy your blog with my glass of wine after the baby goes to bed. Thank you for being you, for being real and for speaking your mind. You are loved! Keep it coming sister!

    Reply

  53. Denise Burks Says:

    So, I really need to stumble across this today.  Well put.  The meanies have always scared the shit out of me.  Pathetic.  I know.  But the heartbreaker is when the meanies attack your kids.  I want to raise kids that would write a post like this.  Kudos.
    http://www.successinthesuburbs.com
     

    Reply

Leave a Reply