I’m changing all the names. I’m getting kind of annoyed with all these memoirs that begin with a declaration that names have been changed to spare the guilty. In Moose, I’m changing the names to spare the fat? Because not everyone is as forthcoming about their weight? People assume going to fat camp is something about which they should feel shame. It’s just not. But anyway.
So in going about changing the names, I was trying to find one for the camp itself. In my search, I came upon the following words and was quite amazed such words existed.
TIS-SEE-WOO-NA-TIS: Cheyenne name meaning “she who bathes with her knees."
TOLINKA: Miwok name meaning "flapping ear of a coyote."
HESUTU: Miwok name meaning "yellow jacket nest rising out of the ground."
HEVATANEO: Cheyenne name meaning "hairy rope."
MONA: Miwok name meaning "gathers jimson weed seed."
These would make excellent chapter titles. Though "she who bathes with her knees" would have worked well for Straight Up and Dirty:
All women should know how to do this. Febreze, fresh flowers, Frizz-Ease, a quick vagina cleaning, some sexy unmentionables, and you’re ready. Okay, some gloss out the door. Oh, yeah, perfume, but how French whore… I’d skip it. Okay, maybe I’d add a little.