cry-eee should be a word

In ALL, SNIPS & SNAILS, VIDEOS BY OTHERS by Stephanie Klein49 Comments

I’ve been combing through the video archives, looking for his twitches, looking for signs of who he was before the surgery.  I want to remember what Lucas is like as a baseline, before I was put on high alert and analyzing everything.  And in going through the videos, I’ve spotted some of the things I now call twitches.  He did it before.  I feel better about that now.  This sweet moment taken only two weeks ago warms my heart, too, and somehow makes me feel like everything will be okay. 

   

Comments

  1. Just wanted to send you warm wishes from across the pond and to send you some blogger-solidarity and support through this tough time.

  2. You sound hopeful which is awesome… I love that your sweet Lucas shares the same name with my sweet nephew.

  3. Stephanie, someone said it before, but YOU CAN DO THIS.
    Lucas is not going to Holland, he is not autistic, the scorpions did not do this. However this unfolds, you will look back absolutely fascinated at what an amazing person Lucas is and what an amazing mother you are. You CAN do this.

    And call your friend, who might be pregnant, and allow yourself to have that moment of joy for one of your friends.

  4. It also throws me when I hear your voice because it's so…not how I pictured it.

    You are adorable with him, and I am sure Abigail as well. Thinking happy thoughts for you…

  5. Oh my god! I can't even imagine what your dealing with right now but it's got to help to take a moment and look at times like these, no? He is so freakin cute! You just want to eat him!!! Like literally put him on a plate and start with those cheeks! With a spoon no less ;-)

  6. I've just caught up on your blog, and I am sosososo glad that Lucas is okay! Take care of you too!

  7. I just love how he smiles and flirts with his eyes at you each time you touch his cheek. Truly a sweet moment with many more to come!

  8. Awww, he is so beautiful. What a sweet video. You and your baby boy are in my thoughts. All of my good wishes are being sent your way.

  9. Thank you for sharing this. This warms my heart, too. You have beautiful children, Stephanie. You are a wonderful mother. Everything will be okay. My thoughts and prayers are still with you.

  10. gosh stephanie he is just too adorable. it's pretty awesome that you take the time to share a lot of your ups and downs with a bunch of strangers, knowingly that there's going to be both negative and positives comments.

    i know that that's what your blog is all about, but everything changes once kids are involved. You're own kids at that. i wish him a speedy recovery.

  11. You sound like such a great mom, Stephanie. I hope you will give yourself a break and not try to find fault with yourself. Think what you'd say to a friend if she were going through that and wondering if she should blame herself.

    Loving our little ones hurts so much and is about the scariest thing in the world. I hope Lucas will be his happy self again soon, and my thoughts are with your whole little family.

  12. I can't even imagine what you are experiencing. I hope that sharing it with readers helps you. It helps us, as readers, connect, to get out of our own heads and screwed up lives. It makes us compassionate and hopeful. It makes real the fear and panic of being a parent on a daily basis. I don't know how much of a comfort words can be to you right now, but you are a very brave person. I know this from what you write and how you write it.

  13. Stephanie Klein, you just had me laughing and crying within 60 seconds flat. From "And this little piggy had none, because she was on the South Beach Diet"… to you describing how much you love him and Abigail– just precious.

    Phil is a lucky man. You are a lucky woman. Sure this sucks right now, but you have each other– and that is what matters most in a time like this.

  14. Stephanie,

    I've been a reader for quite a few years now – and don't comment often. And I don't go through the comments usually – so I'm sure I'm not saying anything new but – Lucas really is a lucky little boy to have you as a mother and Phil as a father.

    I don't have children and I don't pretend to know what anybody else's shoes feel like – but I know that there are plenty of people in the world who don't even care enough to notice when their child is twitching or sick. Who may have shrugged off the signs and wouldn't go as far as to research everything they could on what their child is suffering through. And that makes Lucas one of the lucky ones.

    So – as everyone else is saying – hang in there. Keep fighting and crying and worrying and loving him. He's got a hell of a mother in his corner. And that stands for something.

  15. My brother is 42 years old. Since the day he was born he's had issues. He's had over sixty surgeries in his lifetime and doctors said that he'd never go to regular school, never be a regular kid, but doctors don't know everything, they can do their best but they just don't know everything. So what I'm trying to say is love your kid, enjoy all the things that he does and listen to your heart, it'll work out. By the way, my brother, my hero, he just became a grandpa in March and I love him like crazy!

  16. Your voice on the video…so not what I expected, and I'd even listened to the one from the other day. But this video, you sound oh so young, and feminine and girly…and what shined thru, is how over the moon you are about being a mommy. Lucky woman you are!

  17. What a charming little bean you have there! :-)

    I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

  18. This video alone shows how much you love that adorable little boy. You cracked me up w/ your version of This Little Piggy. Thanks for sharing so much. We're all out here rooting for you and your family.

  19. Follow your blog. Think you're amazing. Never posted a comment. My only child, who is now 20 years old, had "eye/brain" issues at 3 months old. Like you, "out of nowwhere." We saw many specialists–and we were told that she would lose what remained of her very limited sight. When I look back on one particular night, I now realize that I was curled in a fetal position trying to burrow beneath my husband who was sitting on the edge of the bed calling relatives. I, like you, lived my life watching for every little sign–she always stared off into space and was tested for epilepsy. I, too, was twisted into a knot. I feel so much for you. He will get better, as mine did (she is smart, funny, loving, and I love her to death), but you will always be super vigilant about watching him.

  20. Love this video. I've listened to a podcast of an interview you once did, and you do sound vaguely like you do here, but you're just so clearly over the moon for Lucas and Abigail in this vid that it almost sounds like a different woman. It's so sweet to hear.

  21. I am praying for you and Lucas.

    You and your family will get through this, and Lucas will be strong and fight this, he is a Klein after all.

    Remember this too shall pass.

  22. I can't beleive people are still, still posting things that will cause you angst! to the poster's:
    We are glad your personal stories have happy endings but for God's sake just wish well.
    No more my relative had blah blah and 30 years later he's functioning well .
    Just wish well no more!
    Empathy people EMPATHY!
    Caring about you Stephanie and truly praying.

  23. He lights up when you touch him. Just by being there, you make him light up.

    Stephanie, this video made me tear up. I'm hoping with you, with all my heart, that Lucas makes a 100% total recovery.

    And I am totally stealing your version of "This Little Piggy" to use on my niece.

  24. i am sending lucas and your family my hopes , thoughts and prayers from australia. lucas is so beautiful and looks so much like you.

  25. That was a really sweet video. Thank you for sharing. I love it when Lucas smiles–beyond adorable.

  26. Such a beautiful video! Such love outpouring! He is DELICIOUS! You are all still on my prayer list!

  27. Hi, Stephanie. I've been reading and hoping and praying for the best. I think Lucas is going to be ok. No, I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once. Besides, he's tough like his mother.

    I'll keep hoping for the best, you keep eating cakes with spoons. :-)

  28. Love the video!

    I have twins as well… b/g my son had some medical issues also (none in volving surgery thankfully). They are 12 now… OMG how can that be?????? anyway…

    I think I obsessed over details much the way you are describing. It nearly killed me. I managed to hold everything together (including my marriage) and we all pulled through just fine(well if I am honest, I probably should have been seeing a shrink and on antidepressants, but that is an entire post in and of itself! lol).
    No matter what would have transpired, it wouldnt have changed the way I love my child. I think what the situation did for me was to awaken me to the idea that life may not be picture perfect. Every child has some achiles heel. I had to embrace the fact that this was their life… not the one I imagined for them.

    Anyway, best of luck to you and your family!

  29. What a sweet-heart little Lucas is! And he really likes your 'gourmet' version of 'This little piggy'. Sending positive thoughts your way. Lemon cheese cake would be good about now.

  30. I've been away and am only now catching up on things. I love the beautiful video of your sweet little man, and my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family in the coming days. In an important repeat of the previous comments – hang on. Hold on to your beautiful family and everything will turn out right.

  31. What a beautiful baby boy!! You and your family, are in my thoughts and prayers!!

  32. Everything will be okay. You just gotta start believing that and let life move forward.
    He's such a dollbaby.

  33. thank you for sharing this! im keeping you all in my thoughts. he's just adorable!

    ha, south beach diet had me too. good one!

  34. He is so sweet! Definitely wise beyond his years. Hopefully things will turn out for the best… they have a way of doing that.

  35. Lots of love and prayers to you and your family from this part of the country. Thank you for keeping us updated.

  36. you know, i'm really impressed. i was impressed before when you mentioned videotaping lucas to show the doctor. now i'm reading that you're watching older videos of him to get insight into current behavior. that's awesome.

    to add to the list, i'm impressed that you went and played tennis with your husband in the middle of all this. it's so important to carve out time for yourself and for your marriage.

    i've also been wanting to weigh in on the whole italy/holland equation. i validate your feelings, but i think you went off a little too hard on that commenter.

    and one more thing, i disagree with the commenter up there who basically said "no more success stories." why not? why can't we read about all the harvard grads who have the same thing lucas has? i think it's inspiring.

  37. Your children are adorable. My thoughts are with your family at such a scary time in your life. I can't even imagine how you are feeling -I would be interrogating Anyone that held him when I wasn't around "are you SURE you didn't drop him?" Knowing that it wasn't anyone's fault – just wanting to place the blame on someone to take fault.

  38. It is strange to hear your voice, not sure what I expected you to sound like, but it wasn't like that. Funny, the things we think of.

    He is a doll baby. For sure!

  39. Wow-thanks for sharing the video-it's such an intimate look at you with your son, I almost feel like I shouldn't be watching such a special moment, but thanks again for putting yourself out there. I will continue to pray for only the best for your family. God Bless.

  40. I'm glad that brings a smile to your face, even if it's just for a second.

    He is precious. So precious.

    You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers.

  41. I teared up hearing you talk about how much you love Lucas and Abigail. So sweet.

    You're in my thoughts, and I am hoping all that time that will tell speeds on by.

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