be impressive. be-E impressive.

In ALL, LIFE OBSERVATIONS by Stephanie Klein36 Comments

In sleep away camp, I learned a few cheers which were mostly birthed out of boredom.  When the boys were playing basketball, we chanted, "Baskets, baskets, baskets, boys.  You make the baskets; we’ll make the noise."  It was our way of participating, of passing time and maybe garnering a bit of attention for ourselves.  There was the side-out and rotate bit for volleyball.  The n-i-c-e-t-r-y song whenever anyone faultered, and then, when we were in a slump, when the glare from the sun hurt and we had headaches from our ponytails, someone thought it was a good idea to start a round of "be aggressive." 

Be aggressive.  Be-E aggressive.
B-e-a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e.
Be aggressive.  Be-E aggressive.  Wooh!

If anything, it taught me how to spell.  Who knew "aggressive" had two g’s and two s’s?  Many years later, I’m not trying for aggressive; I’m hoping for it’s brainy brunette sister: impressive.  When it comes to impressive, I think it’s similar to how we handle love.  There are some who’ll date for years without uttering the L word.  Others so open, they fall into the idea of it monthly.  I’d argue the latter bunch, the ones looking to live romantic comedy lives, are also readily impressed.   It’s why we’re able to fall so quickly, making allowances, sometimes misdirecting our attention to focus on his accomplishments, so we can ultimately get our fix of adoration.  With others, they’ll take their time.  "It takes a lot to impress me," she’ll say raising an eyebrow.  And maybe it’s true.  But what does it really take?  Is it an excuse, a protection, a barrier to keep from being wrong?  Why does it take so much to impress these people?  I believe there is a strong link between those who are easily impressed and those who fall so easily into love.  And in turn, those who are rarely impressed are also rarely in love.  I’m not sure one’s better than the other; though the latter does seem more sincere.  Or maybe less self-aware.

I’ve been married to a surgeon.  I can’t stand hospitals, the antiseptic smells, the delivery of news and food and meds.  The charts, the scrubs, the name tag badges, the rolling laptops, the catheters and IV bags.  Small dixie cups.  Peering into rooms along a hallway, beds unmade, soiled sheets.  I’m afraid to look.  The carnations and Gerber Daisy’s in ugly vases.  I don’t want to see people in gowns or imagine why they’re there.  I hated meeting the Wasband there for lunch.  As luck would have it, my next serious boyfriend was also a surgeon.  They both, of course, impressed me in a mild roundabout way.  I mean as much as anyone can be impressed by someone who saves lives.  It’s kind of a no-brainer. As much as I detested anything medical, my appreciation for those who thrived from it did not increase.  I didn’t ever think, "I don’t know how you do it," because I knew, quite simply, that we’re all built differently.  You’d think I’d be most impressed by someone who could not only tackle what repelled me but could excel at it.  But it’s not the way it works. We’re deeply impressed, I believe, by what we ourselves do already but wish we could do much better. So yes, is it impressive that he climbs mountains and plays second violin and also has a JDMBA, I guess, sure.  But since I have no desire to do those things, it results in a shrug.  Unless of course it demonstrates an impressive work ethic, something else I’d value–a character trait–than merely a list of accomplishments I myself have no desire to fulfill. 

I’m deeply moved by those who do it better than I can.  Writers, chefs, interior designers, and fashionista mothers impress me.  Artists, photographers, teachers.  Open-minded people with positive outlooks, people who’ve worked hard to get where they are.  It seems it’s the same as "likeness leading to liking."  We all think we’re pretty terrific.  We all believe we’re above average.  And being so, we tend to like in others what we like in ourselves.  And if they do it even better, then we’re impressed.   Yes, we can certainly have an appreciation for the talents of another, but we’re most impressed by that which we ourselves wish we could do. It’s not solely about the identity: author, poet, screenwriter, song writer; it’s about the depth of their talent and surprisingly less so about what it took for them to be there. I am impressed by talent, the kind you can’t really teach.  The genius in it, the gift they’re able to expel from within, out there for the taking.  Being their most authentic selves.  I’m impressed by survivors even though I know it’s partly a human instinct.  The choices they made, when it would have been easier, and they chose harder.

I impress myself sometimes, but very rarely.  It only happens in the kitchen, when I cobble something spectacular together without a recipe.  I’m only impressed, it seems, when I have very low expectations. And I guess some would hold that as an argument.  "Those who love so easily must have low expectations; it’s why they’re so easily impressed."  I love all the time, and love doing so, and I am easily impressed, but my expectations have never been low.  It’s why I’ve suffered so many disappointments. 

So for those not easily impressed, is it at all a matter of not striving for much in your own life?  Or are you hard both on others and yourself?  What impresses you? 

Comments

  1. I don´t fall in love very easily, and I don't throw around the word "impressed" a lot. I hold that for special cases. But I would say that I appreciate little things, on a daily basis, and that's what builds up my feelings for someone, be they friendship or more. I'll be "impressed" in a small way at a tiny act of kindness, a moment of honest openness, the little personality things. Not that I don't expect these things or don't think I deserve them so they come as a surprise — I just think they are the things that should be taken notice of, and never taken for granted, no matter how basic. And, maybe, they impress me as well because they're the things that I hope other people notice and appreciate in me.

    FROM STEPHANIE: Yes! Exactly my point… that last line of yours… you appreciate in others the things you hope others will appreciate in you. It's a case of liking yourself, and finding you in others.

  2. A clean house. A perpetually clean, organized house while raising children. That's what impresses me these days. I'm afraid my standards have taken a nose-dive lately. :)
    I admire your ability to see everyone as no better or no worse than any other person. Took me years to finally realize the 'human-ness' of all those that would leave me shrinking and intimidated. Ironically, it took having a child with 'issues' to leave me now looking for the special in everything I do and everyone I meet. I'm impressed by those with the greatest of talent in whatever they do and I'm also easily impressed by a two-year old who shows compassion to another crying child. For the most part, I'm impressed by everyone at some point. It's like we're all vessels of some un-named cargo and every now and then the goods are valuable to someone, somewhere, at some time. Some are tankers, some are make-shift rafts, but we all offer something. I'm impressed by authentic people. It's palpable when someone lives true to themselves. It's not about money, it's about acceptance. I'm impressed by another harnessing talent… no matter what that talent is.

  3. you hit the nail on the head.

    while i was reading I kept thinking, "when is she going to mention the jealousy? aren't we supposed to be insanely jealous when people do things we can't?"

    then i realized that when someone does something really well and arrived at that point honestly and purely…then i can appreciate it and am impressed….the jealousy sets in when I know their intentions were less than pure and honest, they must have cheated somewhere, i just know it!

    well done.

  4. Stephanie Klein impresses me. She's an amazing writer. A great story teller. A strong woman. She's a talented photographer, a talented cook. She's fashionable. She's honest. She got through a very difficult time and came out shining. Best of all, she has helped many other women. I'm impressed.

  5. Why, you do Stephanie. You impress me. I marvel at your talent in writing, at your ability to lay it all out there, regardless of what anyone thinks. I can do that to a degree, but I have boundaries that stop me from revealing too much. By too much, I guess it would be, revealing what I think will make me vulnerable. I admire you completely.

    And not to copy Colleen completely, I would have to say, women who keep their lives so easily organized and clean while raising babies. My house was an unorganized jungle gym for kids for a good 7 years. (Literally) It was a big house in Washington state, and the kids colored on the walls, rode their bikes through the house, played with basket balls that literally broke every knick-knack I owned. Sentimental and otherwise. I lost control with three of them. I gained it back once I moved to Arizona and divorced their dad. (Different story, but suffice it to say, he was a kid too) My S-I-L was one that her house was perfect. At all times. I'd say I was impressed, but jealousy would be more accurate. (She would spend a lot of time at my house letting HER kids go wild, since mine already were. She would stay until it was her kids' bedtime, having them get ready for bed and brush their teeth at my house and then go home to her perfectly clean house. Our two youngest kids were the same age and sex; they were good playmates. But it was always at my jungle gym. Yes, jealousy is more accurate. But then, I would never do that to anyone. Her way of acheiving the perfect house was at the expense of others.

    OK, I'll quit using your comment section as my self awareness lesson. ;-)

    Good question, btw!

    3T

  6. While people may "like" those that they find to be similar to themselves, I find that people ADMIRE those who have skills and qualities that they DON'T personally possess. How impressed can I be by someone who does what I do everyday, even if they're better at it?

    Your self-esteem is obviously better than you think :)

  7. This is a very interesting post. I may be very caught up in the WASPy work ethic of it can't be worthwhile if it isn't a little painful, but I actually admire in people what I _can't_ do and don't like. I'm very much about "oh, how do they do it" when it comes to things like a JDMBA, surgery residency, or astrogeophysics. Things like decorating? Cooking? PLEASE. We all harbor those latent talents to some degree, or at least I do. But let's face it, it's a lot harder, and a lot more impressive to make it through a competitive grad. program. I can't imagine actually arguing with a straight face that what it takes to complete a surgery residency is somehow comparable to putting a meal together. Three, four years in, with no sleep, little cash, your head spinning – that's when you're digging deep. Not when you're wondering about the wine pairing for dinner. That's the payoff for all the hard work that preceeded it. And that's what impresses me. Hard work, against the odds.

  8. I am afraid to say "I love you." I am afraid to say it, even when I want to. I'm afraid because I don't want to be wrong. I worry that I don't know what love really feels like, maybe it doesn't feel how I think it feels, and if I said it aloud, I might be wrong and everyone would see my mistake.

    This carries through into almost all aspects of my life. I hold myself to a higher standard than I hold anyone else, I am so afraid of being wrong. I am so afraid of making a bad choice and ruining things for myself.

    I am impressed by people who can live their lives without that fear. The people who understand that they will make mistakes, and when they make one they won't beat themselves up over it. The people who say, "I love you" when they want to, and don't agonize over what love is supposed to feel like.

  9. What impresses me most in a man, or anyone for that matter, is a sense of humility. I certainly appreciate a confident person who is sure of him/her self – but to maintain that and at the same time be humble and appreciative of how small we really are in the world is a wonderful character trait to me. Simply put – being thankful for what life has thrown your direction and having the ability to harness that ego in! This takes as a given that the person is accomplished in life (both personal and professional) and is, again, still appreciative to their mentors and family for helping them get there.

    I strive to get there every day and admire someone who has mastered this balance. Thanks!

    Amanda

  10. I'm usually impressed at concerts (or clubs), listening to someone play an extended solo, totally improvised. Sax or piano would be my fav. It takes a lot of creativity to master an instrument (or vocals).

  11. I am impressed and in awe of people who stand strong in their beliefs and values – people who often have to battle opposition and derision. I am especially impressed by the people who fight their battles and the battles of others who need help and still keep a smile on their face and a joy in their heart. To be knocked down repeatedly and still WANT to get up and keep forging ahead – that impresses me.

  12. Character impresses me. Everything else is just a matter of what meshes well with my personality and who I am. Maybe I like that we are alike . . or maybe I like that we are different and I find that not impressive, but interesting.

  13. I know a woman who is not easily impressed and does not easily fall in love. She is always miserable. I once made a joke about her negative outlook on life, assuming she knew she was a pessimist, and she freaked out because she was convinced she was so optimistic. I've since stopped socializing with her once I realized the depths of her self-delusion. If she'd expect a little less perfection out of life, she'd be so much happier.

    Me, I'm impressed by anyone who can make me smile. If a street performer can make me actually smile, I'll tip em a dollar. And that's all it takes to make me happy.

  14. I just want to say that I learned that "mattress" has two s's from the commercial for "1-800-MATTRES and leave off the last S for savings."

    I think I am impressed kind of easily, but that's because I look to see good in people. I'm impressed by my brother's girlfriend, who has a really positive outlook on life – she thought my brother's first day at a new job in a new city would be great because, "he's going to have so much fun."

    I'm impressed by a friend of mine who says she doesn't play games in terms of dating, and I've seen time and time again that she really doesn't.

    I'm very hard on myself – I'm an unsuccessful perfectionist. I'm not impressed by people who have talents they were born with – but by people who have talents they've worked hard at. Effort impresses me. If you were born with perfect pitch, eh. But if you decided you wanted to be a good singer and went out and made yourself one by practicing and taking lessons, that impresses me.

    I'm impressed by people who seem impressive but are willing to share their secrets, and I do the same. My baked ziti is amazing, and you can make the same amazing baked ziti because I'll tell you exactly how I do it.

  15. I am impressed by people like the guy who has been running the news stand on the corner for 30 years, and seems happy doing it. I admire women who run a clean, highly organized house as much as I admire those who's house is a mess but they don't let it bother them. Contentment with the way things are, no matter what/why they are. I strive for that and admire it in others.

  16. I am impressed by goodness – not acting like you're good and waiting for the reward – but fundamental goodness. Helping the old lady out with her groceries – stopping instead of squishing that dog that darted out in the road – believing in others as they strive to be better.
    Not weakness – goodness.

    I know a few people who perpetually radiate goodness – it is my aspiration to be one of them. Along with that goodness comes inner peace and self-acceptance…calm, beauty, serenity…being the strong woman who lives alone with an ocean view and longs for noone, but appreciates simply what is.

  17. This is my fouth year of teaching high school and around this time, just when I think I can't take anymore, I hear about a student who is graduating despite incredible odds or I think about some of my favorite kids who I've known all four years who I know are going to go on and do amazing things with their lives. I have some students who I truly believe will make the world around them better and they impress me. A lot. When I watch those kids walk across the stage to accept their diploma on June 8, I know I will be impressed, not only with what they've overcome but with the potential they have and what they will accomplish in their lives. And a little bit of me will be impressed with myself because I've had some part in getting them there.

  18. Arrested for decorating? Did you see the article in the paper? It's insane.

    I'm impressed by great decorating as well but to think one could get arrested for it in TX is insane.

  19. Very insightful post. Especially the fifth paragraph.

    Since becoming a mom, parents seem to be what impress me these days (which totally goes back ot what you were saying- spot on, bish!).

    A father with his children, without regret or resentment, oblivious to the rest of the world, laughing and smiling, knowing he's damn lucky to have them.

    A mother's restraint when her kids are acting like assholes in public, and people are giving her silent eat shit looks that convey, "get control of your brats"

    Adoptive parents and the abundance of love they have to give.
    Birth mothers who decide to give their babies a better life than they can offer.

    Grandparents who take in grandchildren, love them and raise them as their own.

    The ability to love, both giving and receiving, impresses me. Staying true to who you are and loving all the truths about yourself, but accepting that we are always changing and evolving, even up to the time of death.
    And accepting this in other people.

    Giving up control impresses me. Ive never been able to do it, and when I do, I'm uneasy and terrified of disappointment.

    And I think it was Amanda (?) that said above, knowing just how small we are compared to the rest of the universe and understanding the concept of humility.
    Definitely impresses me.

  20. I am impressed by people who don't give a damn what others think, but who still have an open mind.
    i'm impressed by people who care more about others than about themselves – more about issues that items.
    i am impressed by people who can put someone in their place wihout sounding mean, defensive, or catty.
    i'm impressed by people who get dealt a shitty hand in life, but go out there and make a better life for themselves and their families, and don't think twice about it.
    I'm impressed by people who can Get Shit Done while the rest of us are still talking about it.

  21. being currently in love (but not easily or often in love) – things that impress me: helpfulness, small kindnesses, flowers out of nowhere, a good argument that doesn't become a fight, being calming in a time of tragedy, willingness to learn new things, social grace in lots of circles, a mean cook in the kitchen, taking things apart and putting them back together.

  22. It isn't always about what I can't do or what I want to do better, but what I don't do instinctually. When I see someone doing something that I would do, but did not think to do…that is when I admire and when I am impressed.
    I am impressed by people who can be completely honest without being hurtful. I spend so much of my time catering to the way I treat others. I enjoy making people feel great, but I have a very hard time being genuinely honest with someone without fearing how much I will hurt them.
    I am impressed by people who can hold others accountable for their actions. It is so easy to play both sides of the field, to please all involved. Why I feel the need to hand hold other adults, I don't know. I admire and am impressed by those who refuse to do so.
    I admire people who can be honest about themselves, what they expect from others and those who demand only the best in their relationships. Admire..Impress….it is always remarkable to watch someone or know someone who can do something that imspires us to react.

  23. Combinations of qualities like being laidback and responsible, kind and razor sharp impress me time and again.

    I especially find that intelligence and kindness are a special combo. Intelligence seems to take many people places, where kindness isn't appreciated. To remain compassionate and kind even if it risks your credibility … that's impressive.

    Kindness I'm impressed by not only because it feels so good to be around kind people, but also because kindness is such a challenging quality to maintain. I see so many kind people get a lot of disrespect from those who mistakenly equate kindness with weakness or even lack of intelligence. In my own life, I'm very, very unimpressed, if a new acquaintance or a friend doesn't trust my kindness, but tries to push my buttons and test me to see if I'm for real, or worse yet, tries to take advantage of me. I'm smart enough to see what's happening.

    "Those who love easily…" People who love easily aren't fools: they have a special ability to see what's lovable in each of us, and they choose to focus on our wonderful qualities. Around them, it helps if we believe in our own goodness and kindness, too. That way there isn't too great of a disconnect between how they see us and how we see ourselves. That sounds like a no-brainer, but it really isn't. If we're at peace with ourselves, we'll feel comfortable when someone is pleased with us. Yes, they know if we always run late and yes, they see if we fuss a lot … but they focus on the good and love us for it. And there's something good in just about everyone.

    My sense is that being impressed with someone's skills or personal qualities has so much to do with having an understanding of that specific quality or skill. Whether it's surgery, writing or music, once you know the field, you'll recognize excellence and effort. And you'll be impressed because you know how much it takes.

  24. On the frivolous side, I am impressed by those who can pair so perfect a wine with a meal, that it is always memorable. I am impressed by the True Kitchen Bitch, she who never burns or over cooks, her pastries always perfect and her useful, gadget filled, kitchen always spotless. I am also so ridiculously impressed by the woman who is always perfectly turned out, from the black tie dinner to a fucking tee ball game. Those woman seriously impress me. Yes, that is the greenest envy speaking. On a more serious note. I am impressed by those that volunteer without using it as a bragging right or a social entrance. But because they, out of there hearts want to help. I am impressed by all of the soldiers and contract goverment workers who are abroad making it safe for me to have something as simple as a iced latte in a cafe, or going to work on the 26th floo. I may not agree with this war, but I fully support the troops that go forth in our name.
    On a deeply personal level, I am impressed with Doctors' who care, not just who practice. A Doctor who goes out of his way to find every avenue of treatment instead of pushing the norm. or the current "IT" treatment. I see a compassion, in caring when you don't have to. And I am impressed. So,so impressed.
    Also at the top of my list I am impressed with people like SK, Bloggers who put it out there and tell the stories of their lives. The more we all tell our stories and the more we listen to other's stories. The more we learn and the more we realize how much we all share in common.

  25. I'm not easily impressed. Things have never impressed me but natural talent does. I'm very hard on myself and also on others. If you can draw better than me then I'm impressed. People who have been married longer than me impress me too. :)

  26. I don't get impressed by others very often but I am impressed by your writing abilities! Love visiting this site.

  27. This is one of your better ones. Someone said you were fishing for compliments, but that seems unfair. I think you get enough of those already in your personal life that you would not resort to such tactics. Sigh..

    Well thought out piece.

  28. Betsy – I have a feeling that Stephanie is trying to create adialog here and get her readers to STOP and THINK about themselves, not stroke her ego. Not many readers have complimented stephanie instead it seems many are searching in and finding a true answer. For me, I'm impressed when someone I know is deeper or more caring than i thought they were. If someone can share past stories, experiences and relate then they are IN. Getting that we are all human and shit has happened to us all but when you go on and don't dwell is impressive. I impress myself at times because I was molested when i was younger and 3 years ago finally told my family (it was my step father) and it was the hardest thing i've ever done because I watched their worlds fall apart and felt guilty for that. It was my sister's dad and I know it kills her inside but she just keeps it together and she is so amazing. Now that it's out I talk freely about it and when someone can relate and not judge but just understand that i've given them a little peak into me but that they shouldn't see me as only that then i'm impressed. My fiance impresses me with his ability to see me and love me and support me. He's amazing and i want to be like him always. The people that make it im my circle are the ones I want to be like.

  29. It is a common thought: that we like what we are like. But I do not believe the recourse of preconditioning what you want to see need always fall so heavy-handedly on what we attract, and how we create our own world. I think the idea can be a lot less elusive; namely, because I truly believe we have more control over what we do. Even if the things we can control in our lives are few and far between; over that we which we can control, like how much we can trust our own love, I think we have a lot of control; and by 'control' I mean the oppportunity to create choices for ourselves.

    Sure, with emotional lucidity what we do can look like an: OH MY GOD! I'm totally creating this situation subconsciously, thing – but I often find myself looking at these emotional findings as characteristic of a nascent decision making process; one that can make, say, the idea of being impressed easily coming from wanting to be similarly impressive, easier to handle consciously.

    I have fallen in love about nine times so far with increasing strength, and no relationship has ever worked out for me – otherwise I would no doubt be sprouting progenies like it was going outta fashion! Nonetheless, each man I have fallen for really helped to form me. And, yet, I still believe in finding the right guy for me; and that I will keep falling in love with maturing intensity. Why? Because I know I appreciate real beauty instinctively. And I know that lies behind the initial draw for me. I trust that what I see is magnificent, and am therefore probably easily impressed too. LIke you, that has led to many disappointments; many a rosy-tinted, emotionally-panaramic view along the way – but, for me, I feel it is because I trust my heart.__I trust my love__. Irregardless of the other person's almost. I trust my love. And am willing to gamble that it will come up trumps for me in the end, even if the relationship itself cannot work…

    So: does it have a lot to do with being impressed, because we are impressed by what others do better than us; of liking what we are like? Or is it more that the ease of falling in love, is perhaps a beautiful, easy decision to trust our decisions about giving the love that we already rely on. Perhaps it is this, rather than looking to create a homogenised community out of one's personality-infrastructure that can make us fall?

    In this way, looking at it from the perpective of people who can easily trust their own love (given healthy upbringings and learning about the strength of unconditional love, in all its marked rarity), your observation, Stephanie, can further become a tangible idea of love that we can control. Can create choices for ourselves on the basis of? What do you think?

    I reckon, even if it means falling easily. And all the time. If we didn't trust the love we felt from within ourselves, I don't think it's our own beautiful love we are looking to develop and grow with.

    Arhan

  30. Someone else mentioned goodness, and my parents immediately came to mind. They are the most impressive people I know. When my oldest son was 3 wks old, I didn't feel well. On top of being sick, I was sleep deprived, clueless, overwhelmed, etc, so I called my parents. They came over w/o hesitating, w/ a bag full of groceries. My mom cooked several meals for the week while I pumped, and then she stayed home w/ my son while my dad took me to the dr. They stayed the entire day until my husband came home from work. Later that night, my sister called, and in passing, she said, "I wonder if Mom and Dad liked the show" (not knowing that they had spent the day at my apt). It turned out that they had had tickets to a Broadway show that day, but as soon as I called, they came over and never mentioned it. When I brought it up to them and said that I felt terrible, they told me there will be other shows, and I was more important. They ALWAYS made my sister, brother and me feel special. They loved each other so much (still do), and their love and happiness carried through to their children and now to their 5 grandchildren. Not only are they the best parents, they are the best grandparents, as well. They are at every school function, birthday party, etc. They take the kids to concerts, shows, on trips, ice skating, street fairs, museums, etc. They are the most selfless, giving, caring, loving, supportive people I know. They work, exercise, have many hobbies, travel extensively, and love each other completely. They will be married 45 yrs this summer, and they still hold hands like teenagers. They are best friends. Their relationship is so impressive. As people, they are so impressive. My family is lucky to have them. I am truly blessed. Stephanie, thanks for making me feel good about something on a particularly bad day.

  31. I messed up the last coupla //graphs when I first posted this… Have amended below! x

    It is a common thought: that we like what we are like. But I do not believe the recourse of preconditioning what you want to see need always fall so heavy-handedly on what we attract, and how we create our own world. I think the idea can be a lot less elusive; namely, because I truly believe we have more control over what we do. Even if the things we can determine in our lives are few and far between; over that we which we can control, like how much we can trust our own love, I think we hold a lot of sway; and by 'control' I mean the oppportunity to create choices for ourselves.

    Sure, with emotional lucidity what we do can look like an: OH MY GOD! I'm totally creating this situation subconsciously, thing – but I often find myself looking at these emotional findings as characteristic of a decision making process; one that can make, say, the idea of being impressed easily coming from wanting to be similarly impressive, easier to handle consciously.

    I have fallen in love about nine times so far with increasing strength, and no relationship (yet) has ever worked out for me as The One – otherwise I would no doubt be sprouting progenies like it was going outta fashion! Nonetheless, each man I have fallen for really helped form me in some way. I still believe in finding the right guy for me; and that I will keep falling in love with maturing intensity. Why? Because I know I appreciate real beauty instinctively. And I know that lies behind the initial draw for me. I trust that what I see is magnificent, and am therefore easily impressed.

    Like you, that has led to many disappointments; many a rosy-tinted, overtly emotional panaramic view along the way – but, for me, I feel it is because I trust my heart that I fall easily: I trust my love. In some crazy way, almost irregardless of the other person's! I trust my love. And am willing to gamble that it will come up trumps for me in the end, even if the relationship itself cannot work… I think that's why I fall easily.

    So: does falling have a lot to do with being easily impressed, because we are impressed by what others do better than us; of liking what we are like? Or is it more that the ease of falling in love, is perhaps just an easy decision to make when you trust your own love giving. Perhaps, for those who are less easily impressed, and/or fall inlove less easily – it is not trusting the other person's love that plays a major part in their choices? Perhaps that's what they need time for? I don'tknow.

    Looking at it from the perpective of people who can easily trust their own love (perhaps given healthy upbringings, learning about the strength of unconditional love, in all its marked rarity), your observation, Stephanie, can further become a tangible idea: falling because it's easy to trust where your heart is telling you to go. Trusting your love easily. More than being impressed easily. What do you think?

    I reckon, even if it means falling easily, and all the time, being inlove can just as much be about it being an easy decision to make – an easy thing to trust. For those who don't fall easily, perhaps they do trust their own love – but maybe they need to take their time and make sure they can trust the other person's just as much too? Of course, there is also the fear of falling in love too easily; being told it's because merely you are easily be impressed: but this may refer just to people who are looking for someone else to love them easily – and I don't think that's what you are talking about here.

    Interesting blog there Ms. Klein. Thank you!

  32. It is all so true. I admire and am drawn to those who have talent in those areas I wish I had more of it. Those who write well, who seem to observe the world better than I, those who honestly go for things and who create something:be it music, art, food. The jealously thing is actually funnily enough reserved for people closest to me who excel in things i wish i could excel in. My brother who has a natural talent in art, where my hours of sweat on fine art produced mishapen people and quite competent still lifes. I guess the jealously stems from wishing they used their talents..or rather maybe that i actually used mine, or had more concrete ones. Why is it that people dont ever think that being observant, kind, having emotional intelligence a talent??
    Anyways…as a final note…I am impressed not easily, but impressed by the journey behind things, the way that something makes someone feel, the simple instinct that a sculptor possesses, or the mind of a skilled songsmith. At the moment, I am mostly impressed by you. Your talent to hit the nail on head in ways that still leave room for questions, in a way that shows observation, compassion and confidence. The life you have led and the way you actually think things through. I can appreciate the same things in me, like liking like, however your own special twist makes it impressive.

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